Paul Brian
Emotional depth can’t always be seen on the surface.
It takes time to develop and often has subtle indicators that people don’t even realize.
Here are the top subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize.
1) You’re highly perceptive
First of all in terms of the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you notice a lot.
You’re highly perceptive about people around you, places, details of things that happen, sights, sounds and everything else.
You notice many fine details of things and you pick up on emotional cues and subtext that others miss out on.
It may have never struck you as particularly remarkable.
You just pick up on “vibes” and the energy that people, places and situations are putting out there.
But this is actually a fairly rare gift that many people don’t have.
2) You feel the pain of others
Next up in the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you feel the pain of others.
Even if you tried, you can’t ignore when people are suffering, especially if you are responsible or contributing to their suffering.
You spring into action when there’s a crisis and you truly want to help people.
Your desire to be part of the solution and not part of the problem is a deep motivation for you, but you may never have stopped to consider the emotional aspect.
You may feel like you just want to help out because you can.
But when you really reflect on it you may find that it’s partly motivated by the real pain you feel within yourself when seeing the suffering and injustice done to others.
This ties into the next point…
3) You feel sick when you see cruelty
Another of the important but subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you feel sick seeing cruelty.
This doesn’t only mean cruelty towards other people, but also to animals.
You see the mistreatment and abuse of living things and it makes you sad and angry.
You see people being rude to others or yelling at their employees and you feel yourself bristle with righteous anger.
Your emotional depth exists because you don’t only have concern for yourself but also for what’s going on in the world around you and the lives of others.
You understand that at some fundamental level we’re all connected and that turning a blind eye to cruelty and abuse makes you less human and a lesser person in a very real way.
4) You understand your inner conflicts
The next of the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you understand your inner conflicts.
In other words, you are aware of moral complexity.
You want to be a good person, but sometimes you drink too much, sleep with the wrong people or gamble.
Maybe you even lie or get in fights, or something even worse.
You understand that no human being is perfectly “pure” or completely “bad” and that there are many shades of gray.
You understand the tension between good intentions and acts.
You understand why religions like Christianity spent so many centuries arguing over salvation by grace or works, because you feel the same tension between wanting a clean slate but also knowing that it isn’t always easy to just start over again and be forgiven for everything.
This is emotional depth!
5) You weigh all sides of important decisions
Next up in the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you weigh all sides of important decisions.
You not only think about how a big decision will affect you and your wellbeing.
You also think about how it will affect everyone else involved.
This is a definite sign that you have some real emotional maturity stewing away beneath the surface.
Because the truth is that many people make important decisions without really considering how it might affect others they care about.
6) You don’t judge others simplistically
Next in subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you don’t make blanket judgments or reach easy conclusions about others.
The world isn’t divided into “good” and “bad” people for you.
While you clearly will have some people you like more than others, you don’t really try to give people an overall rating or judgment because you know that simplistic judgments are often wrong.
There’s a place for people judging other people, and there can be value in it.
Sometimes cautionary or proactive advice can change lives.
But you have enough emotional depth to refrain from thinking you always know what’s best for others, because you understand that you’re still in the process of figuring out what’s best for you!
7) You feel pangs of conscience when you lie
Next up in the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you feel guilty when you lie or mistreat other people.
Even if you could get away with it or somebody deserved it, you don’t like the feeling of knowing you stooped to their level.
You don’t like lying because you know you’re capable of so much more.
You have the emotional depth to realize that doing the right thing isn’t just about social pressure or some kind of cookie cutter morality.
It’s also about your relationship with yourself, and you want to be able to look yourself in the eye and be able to know you’ve done your best and done what you felt was right in life.
8) You know the difference between a passing emotion and a foundational emotion
The next of the important yet subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you don’t treat all emotions the same.
You know that temporary euphoria or sadness comes and goes, whereas stronger, foundational emotions make us who we are.
You are able to grapple with difficult and pleasant emotions that form a deeper part of who you are while also not taking day-to-day emotions overly seriously.
At the end of the day you’re a master of your emotions and you’re able to decide which are important or just in passing.
9) You try to give other people a chance to make up for mistakes they’ve made
Next up in the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you give people second chances.
You’re no sucker, and you don’t have endless patience.
But you do show mercy and let people have a second chance.
You understand that we all make mistakes and that being overly hard on people is just the wrong way to go.
You’d like to be given other chances, too.
So you try to extend the courtesy to folks who mess up around you.
10) You understand you have a ‘shadow’ side and you don’t find it ‘bad’
Lastly in the subtle signs you have more emotional depth than you realize is that you have come to terms with your own “shadow.”
Shallow New Age discourse often presents the shadow as some kind of “bad” version of you.
But in reality the shadow is just as valid as your regular self. It’s just unresolved energy and potential that needs to be channeled somewhere, and some darker instincts that need to be transformed into positive conduits.
You’ve come to terms with your shadow and integrated it into who you are, which demonstrates enormous emotional depth.
Measuring depth
At the end of the day, it’s difficult to measure something like emotional depth.
Our experiences are all unique, and it’s impossible to quantify emotions.
We can describe what we perceive and feel, but can we really measure it?
The truth is that if you’re reading this article and you relate to the points above, you undoubtedly have more emotional depth than you realize.
