The power of mindfulness

I used to think mindfulness was just a fancy word people threw around when they didn’t want to deal with their actual problems. Like meditating instead of fixing your life. Or going on a silent retreat instead of having that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding.

But I was wrong (about all of these things). 

Mindfulness, when understood and practiced properly, is one of the most powerful tools for creating real change. Not superficial, feel-good-for-a-day kind of change. I mean deep, sustainable shifts in how you experience life.

I didn’t come to this conclusion through some spiritual epiphany. It happened gradually. Through moments of clarity in chaos, through painful lessons, and through the slow, frustrating process of paying attention to what’s actually going on in my head.

Here’s what I’ve learned about mindfulness and why I think it might be the single most underrated skill we can develop.

Why most of us are sleepwalking through life

Let’s be honest. Most of us go through our days on autopilot. We’re not really living, we’re reacting. A notification buzzes and we check it without thinking. Someone pisses us off and we lash out or stew silently. We’re in the past, regretting. Or in the future, worrying.

But we rarely land in the only place that actually exists: right now.

That’s what mindfulness is. It’s being aware of what you’re experiencing while you’re experiencing it. Simple, but not easy.

When you’re mindful, you’re not a slave to your thoughts. You’re not running loops in your head about how you should’ve said something different in that meeting, or whether your ex is happier without you.

Instead, you’re just here.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of the pioneers of mindfulness in the West, put it: “Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment.”

I love that phrase: “exquisite vividness.” Because that’s what it feels like when you really tap into the moment. Even something as ordinary as making a cup of tea or walking to the store becomes alive.

How mindfulness helped me stop spiraling

I used to spiral a lot. Like, a lot. I’d get one anxious thought in my head and before I knew it, I’d convinced myself my whole life was a mess.

Sound familiar?

Practicing mindfulness didn’t magically erase my anxiety, but it gave me something way more valuable: the ability to see it.

Instead of getting swept away, I learned to observe the thought. Not judge it. Not feed it. Just notice.

“Oh hey, there’s that fear of failure again.”

When you see your thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—they start to lose their grip. That’s the power of mindfulness. It gives you space. And in that space, you get to choose how to respond.

There’s a classic quote by Viktor Frankl that captures this perfectly: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

The myth of needing more time

One of the biggest excuses I used to make was, “I don’t have time to be mindful.”

What I’ve come to realize is that mindfulness isn’t about adding another thing to your already packed schedule. It’s about how you do what you’re already doing.

You can practice mindfulness while brushing your teeth. While eating lunch. While having a conversation.

It’s not about meditating for 60 minutes a day (although if that works for you, go for it). It’s about coming back to your breath. Your body. Your senses. As many times as you can remember to.

This shift has saved me from burnout more than once.

What science has to say about it

Mindfulness isn’t just a feel-good philosophy. There’s real science behind its benefits.

As noted by the American Psychological Association, research suggests mindfulness practices can reduce rumination and stress, help working memory, decrease emotional reactivity and even lead to increased relationship satisfaction. 

Another study found that mindfulness practice (meditation) can literally change the structure of your brain, increasing grey matter density in areas associated with learning, memory, and compassion.

That last one blew my mind when I first read it. You mean sitting quietly and breathing can rewire your brain?

Yes. Apparently, it can.

A practice, not a performance

Mindfulness isn’t something you master. It’s not a checkbox. It’s a practice. That means you show up, you do the thing, and some days it’s messy and weird and uncomfortable.

That’s fine.

I still catch myself drifting off during conversations. Still reach for my phone when I’m uncomfortable. Still react in ways I later regret.

But I do it less. And when I do slip up, I notice faster. That’s progress.

If you’re expecting perfection, you’re missing the point. Mindfulness isn’t about being calm and Zen all the time. It’s about being real with whatever’s happening.

How Eastern philosophy shaped my view

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism, I dive deep into how Buddhism approaches mindfulness. One key idea that always sticks with me is this: everything changes.

The breath comes and goes. Emotions rise and fall. Thoughts appear and disappear.

When you really understand this, you stop clinging so hard. You stop fighting reality. You just be.

That doesn’t mean you don’t care or stop taking action. It means you do it from a place of presence instead of panic.

To wrap things up…

Mindfulness won’t solve all your problems. It won’t make life easy or turn you into a monk.

But it will change how you relate to the hard stuff. It will help you meet your life as it is, instead of constantly wishing it were different.

It’s not a miracle. But it is a mindset.

And like most things that matter, it takes practice. But I promise—the more you stick with it, the more powerfully it works.

So next time you catch yourself spiraling or zoning out or reacting in a way you’ll regret, pause. Take a breath. Notice. And begin again.

That’s all mindfulness really is.

And it’s more than enough.