The mindful way to fall asleep (without forcing it)

I used to think the key to better sleep was just going to bed earlier. Or switching off my phone an hour before bed. Or spending more on a fancy pillow.

And while those things helped a little, none of them got to the root of what was keeping me awake: my mind.

You probably know the feeling. Your body’s tired, but your brain is doing laps. It replays conversations from earlier in the day, runs through tomorrow’s to-do list, and dredges up old memories for no good reason.

That’s where sleep meditation comes in. It doesn’t knock you out—but it does help your nervous system shift gears. And over time, it teaches your mind how to slow down and let go.

I’ve used sleep meditation regularly for the past few years, especially during periods of stress. What I’ve learned is that it’s not about forcing rest. It’s about creating the right inner conditions for rest to happen naturally.

1. Start by setting the scene

Your environment matters more than most people realize. I’m not talking about creating some Instagram-worthy bedroom, but rather making sure the space you’re trying to sleep in feels safe, comfortable, and calm.

That means dimming the lights, turning off harsh overhead bulbs, and lowering the noise. Sometimes I light a candle or play soft ambient sounds—nothing too stimulating.

If you’re using a guided meditation, I recommend one without too much talking. Something steady and soft.

The goal is to ease your system into rest mode. Your surroundings should signal to your brain: “It’s okay to stop now.”

2. Focus on the breath, but don’t force it

One of the most helpful techniques I’ve found is anchoring your awareness in your breath.

But here’s the thing: don’t try to control it. When I first started, I’d try to breathe “perfectly” and end up feeling more awake.

Instead, just observe. Feel the air moving in and out through your nose. Notice how your chest rises and falls.

If your mind drifts (and it will), gently return to the sensation of breathing. You’re not trying to do anything. You’re just allowing your attention to rest on something steady.

There’s a Buddhist principle I write about in my book about the value of effortlessness. When it comes to sleep meditation, less really is more.

3. Use body scan meditation to release tension

Sometimes it’s not just the thoughts that keep us awake—it’s the tension we carry in our bodies.

A body scan helps with that. You mentally move your awareness through your body, part by part, and notice any tightness or sensation.

Start at the top of your head and slowly work your way down to your toes. Don’t try to fix anything—just notice. If your shoulders feel tight, breathe into them. If your jaw is clenched, relax it as best you can.

I find this practice works best when I combine it with a simple phrase: “It’s safe to let go.” Saying that silently as I scan each part of my body helps remind my nervous system that it can finally rest.

This practice can also be useful if you’ve been physically active or under a lot of stress. We tend to think of rest as something that happens automatically when we’re tired, but rest also needs to be allowed.

Sometimes our bodies need to be given permission to stop holding tension.

4. Try visualization if your thoughts are restless

Some nights, my mind refuses to let go. That’s when I use visualization.

Instead of trying to stop thinking, I give my mind something gentle to focus on—like picturing myself floating on a calm lake, or walking through a quiet forest.

This isn’t about escaping reality. It’s about shifting your internal state. The body responds to the mind’s imagery. If you imagine calm, you start to feel calm. That’s something I’ve experienced over and over again.

Research shows that guided visualizations is associated with better self-reported sleep scores. You don’t need anything elaborate. Just keep it peaceful, slow-moving, and familiar.

If visualization doesn’t come easily to you, that’s okay. You can use a recording, or even just recall a comforting memory—like being near the ocean or curled up on the couch as a kid. Let your brain follow that thread into deeper relaxation.

5. Use a sleep mantra or phrase

One technique I use a lot—especially when I feel emotionally wound up—is repeating a simple mantra. It could be something spiritual, or just something grounding like, “I am safe,” or “Let go.”

I repeat it in my mind on the exhale. This creates rhythm, anchors attention, and dials down mental noise. Over time, the phrase becomes associated with rest, and my mind knows what to do.

The key here is repetition without force. You’re not chanting to achieve something—you’re repeating to create space. Let the words float on your breath.

6. Allow what’s present

Here’s something no one tells you: trying too hard to fall asleep is one of the fastest ways to stay awake.

Meditation, at its core, is about allowing what is. That includes restlessness. That includes worry.

Some nights, I simply acknowledge that my mind is active—and that it’s okay. I stop fighting it. And often, that’s when the shift happens.

There’s a quote I love by Jon Kabat-Zinn: “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” Sleep meditation isn’t about stopping your mind. It’s about learning how to rest within it.

Final words

Sleep meditation is not a one-size-fits-all fix. It’s a quiet practice of meeting yourself at the end of the day—without judgment, without pressure.

Some nights it works like magic. Other nights, it simply helps you rest even if you don’t fall asleep right away.

But over time, it builds trust between you and your nervous system. It creates a space of surrender, which, in this wired world, is no small thing.

If you’re struggling to rest, try one of these practices tonight. Not as a chore, but as a gift. Because sleep isn’t something we chase. It’s something we return to, when we finally stop running.