Lachlan Brown
Let’s be honest—life doesn’t always feel fair.
You work hard, love deeply, do your best… and still get blindsided by pain, disappointment, or uncertainty. Maybe you’ve felt this too—those moments where the world seems indifferent to your efforts, and you wonder if it’s all just chaos in disguise.
I remember one such moment clearly. I had just returned from a silent meditation retreat in northern Thailand, expecting to float back into my life with clarity and calm. Instead, within 48 hours, I was knee-deep in a painful breakup and questioning everything I thought I had “mastered.” My ego had wanted transformation. What I got was truth.
That’s when I turned again to the teachings of Buddhism—not for comfort, but for clarity.
Because Buddhism doesn’t sugarcoat life. It meets us with raw, unflinching honesty—and yet, paradoxically, offers us profound peace.
In this article, we’ll explore some of Buddhism’s most brutal truths about life—not to bring you down, but to set you free.
I’ll share stories, both personal and from others I’ve worked with, that show how facing these truths can actually lighten our load. We’ll also dig into a few mindfulness tools that can help you live with more presence, even when life feels heavy.
Brutal truth #1: You can’t avoid suffering. But you can stop making it worse by resisting it.
Let’s start with the obvious: life includes suffering.
In Buddhist philosophy, this is called dukkha. It’s the first of the Four Noble Truths, and it doesn’t mean life is only suffering—but that suffering is an unavoidable part of the human experience.
But here’s the kicker: much of our suffering doesn’t come from pain itself. It comes from resisting it.
Take Emma, a client I once worked with. She had spent years trying to avoid grief after losing her father—keeping busy, pushing forward, staying “strong.” But that armor eventually cracked, and the flood came.
What helped her wasn’t numbing or distracting. It was learning to sit with her grief, to name it, and to befriend it. As she said one day, “I stopped trying to fix it… and weirdly, that’s when I started healing.”
In my experience, it’s not pain that breaks us—it’s our fight against it. When we stop resisting, we stop doubling our suffering.
Mindfulness teaches us to meet pain with awareness rather than judgment. And from that space, even suffering can become a path to insight.
Brutal truth #2: Everything you love will change or end. And that’s why it matters so deeply now.
I’ve always loved the Buddhist concept of impermanence (anicca), even though it scares the hell out of the ego.
Everything changes. Your job, your relationships, your body, your beliefs. One moment you’re on top of the world; the next, you’re wondering what happened. And while this can feel cruel, impermanence is also what makes transformation possible.
A former student of mine, Daniel, once lost his startup—and with it, his identity. For months, he spiraled. But as we talked, he began to realize something: “I thought losing the business would kill me,” he said. “But now I’m free to ask who I am without it.”
That’s the hidden gift in impermanence: if things can fall apart, they can also fall into place.
Buddhism doesn’t just tell us that nothing lasts—it shows us how to embrace that truth without despair. Through mindfulness, we learn to appreciate each moment without clinging to it.
Brutal truth #3: You are not a fixed self. And that means you’re freer than you realize.
This one can be a mind-bender. In Buddhism, there’s a core insight called anatta—the doctrine of “non-self.” It challenges the idea that there’s a fixed, permanent “you” behind your thoughts and roles.
You are not your career. You are not your trauma. You are not your social media profile, your reputation, or even your thoughts. You are a fluid, unfolding process—not a solid object.
When I first grasped this, it shook me. I had built so much of my life around who I thought I had to be—smart, accomplished, calm, enlightened (ha!). But what if I could just be present, without performing?
This truth became liberating, not depressing. Because if I’m not a fixed identity, I don’t have to hold onto old stories. I can rewrite them. So can you.
Brutal truth #4: You’re going to die. Let that make you bolder, not more afraid.
Contemplating death might sound morbid—but in Buddhist tradition, it’s actually a powerful tool for living fully.
There’s a practice called maranasati, or death awareness meditation, that invites us to remember: we will die. It’s not if, it’s when.
At first, this made me anxious. Then it made me honest.
When you realize your time is limited, you stop wasting it. You say what you mean. You forgive faster. You appreciate mornings, laughter, even heartbreak.
Brutal truth #5: Life isn’t fair. But you’re not here to be rewarded, you’re here to live truthfully.
We often carry this subtle belief that if we’re good, life should go our way. It’s not conscious—but it shows up when we feel betrayed by reality.
The truth is, life doesn’t promise fairness. It doesn’t guarantee reward for effort. And that can feel brutal, until you realize the flip side:
If life owes you nothing, then you’re free to stop waiting for permission.
You get to define meaning. You get to choose how to show up. You get to act not because it’ll “pay off,” but because it reflects who you want to be.
Meeting brutal truth with gentle awareness
You might be wondering: how do I hold all these truths without spiraling into despair?
This is where mindfulness becomes not just useful—but essential.
In mindfulness, we learn to observe our experience with gentle attention. Not to fix it, but to be
Liberation doesn’t come from escaping reality, but from seeing it clearly, without clinging or aversion. This clarity, this intimacy with the truth, is what allows peace to arise.
Next time you’re overwhelmed, try this:
Mindfulness practice: “Name and Breathe”
- Sit or stand still.
- Gently name what’s here: “Sadness.” “Tight chest.” “Racing mind.”
- Breathe into the experience, as if making room for it.
- Say silently: This, too, belongs.
You’re not escaping the truth—you’re embracing it with presence. And that changes everything.
Final thoughts: Embracing the brutal to find the beautiful
Life doesn’t get easier just because we understand it better. But it does get more meaningful.
The brutal truths of Buddhism aren’t here to punish us. They’re here to wake us up. To peel back illusion. To return us to what’s real.
In my experience, facing these truths hasn’t made me bitter. It’s made me kinder. Softer. Strangely, even more hopeful.
Because when you stop trying to avoid life’s darkness, you also stop missing its light.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be honest. And that, I promise you, is enough.
Walk gently with the truth. Let it crack you open. That’s how the light gets in.
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