I was my own worst enemy for years, stuck in a cycle of laziness and excuses. Here’s how I learned to get out of my own way and achieve my dreams

For years, I felt like I was spinning my wheels, dreaming big yet never making real progress.

I told myself I’d write that book, start that project, or improve my health—tomorrow.

But when tomorrow came, I was back to the same old habits of procrastination and self-sabotage. The craziest part was that I knew exactly what I needed to do, yet I still managed to come up with every excuse under the sun.

I was my own worst enemy, and I stayed trapped in that cycle for far too long. I’d wake up brimming with ideas, only to let my motivation fizzle out by midday.

My mind kept feeding me the same script: “You’ll never be consistent,” “There’s not enough time,” or “You’re just too busy.” Deep down, I recognized these were lies, but acknowledging them and acting on that realization were two very different things.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point.

I realized I needed to get out of my own way, because no one else was going to do it for me. In this post, I want to share exactly how I turned things around, hoping it might inspire you to do the same.

Recognizing I was my biggest obstacle 

I remember one Monday morning in particular: I was sitting at my desk, coffee in hand, determined to finally get moving on a personal project I’d been meaning to start for months.

Ten minutes later, I was down a YouTube rabbit hole, telling myself I was doing “research.”

That moment stung. I couldn’t blame my parents, my friends, or my circumstances.

It was all me.

I was the one spending hours scrolling through social media, ignoring real responsibilities and letting fear dictate my choices. Coming face-to-face with that fact was uncomfortable. But it was also the spark I needed to make a change.

In Eastern philosophy, there’s a strong emphasis on self-reflection—on turning the mirror inward to examine where we cause our own suffering.

For me, that suffering was the mental anguish of knowing I wasn’t living up to my potential. I’d read about this concept years ago when I first got interested in Buddhism, but I never really let it sink in.

Instead of asking, “What’s stopping me from acting?” I needed to ask, “How am I stopping myself?”

Why we hold ourselves back

It’s easy to assume laziness is the enemy, but I’ve found it’s usually just a mask for something deeper—fear of failure, fear of success, or even fear of change.

When I procrastinated, I wasn’t just being lazy. I was terrified that my work might not be good enough.

I worried that if I truly invested my heart and soul into a project and it flopped, I’d have no excuse. It felt safer to half-try, then blame the outcome on not putting in full effort.

I realized I was doing the same things over and over—setting intentions, buying planners, making to-do lists—without ever addressing the root cause: I was scared of fully committing to my goals.

I’ve talked about this before but it bears repeating: we have to look under the hood and figure out what’s causing us to hit the brakes.

Maybe it’s a hidden belief that we’re not worthy of success. Maybe it’s the worry that if we succeed, we’ll raise people’s expectations. Whatever it is, once you identify it, you can start working on it instead of letting it work on you.

The turning point

One day, I stumbled upon a study that changed my perspective.

A group of researchers found that people who set specific “if-then” implementation intentions (for example, “If it’s 8 AM, then I will write for one hour”) were significantly more likely to follow through on their goals than those who relied on vague intentions like “I’m going to work on my book tomorrow.”

That got me thinking about structure and systems.

I decided to create a non-negotiable routine. I’d wake up, meditate for five minutes—no more, no less—and then spend the next hour writing.

That routine quickly became the cornerstone of my day.

In the beginning, it felt weird. My brain resisted. I’d think, “But I’m not in the mood!” or “Let me just check my email first.” However, once I committed to that system, I found a rhythm that kept me from descending into a pit of excuses.

Something else clicked around that time: mindset.

I realized that every time I labeled myself “lazy” or “unmotivated,” I was reinforcing an identity that locked me in place.

It’s the same concept Carol Dweck explores in her book Mindset, where she explains how a fixed mindset can make us see our abilities as static. If you think you’re “just lazy,” you won’t bother trying to improve.

You’ll just accept it as who you are.

Embracing a growth mindset

Switching from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset was huge.

I stopped telling myself, “I’m bad at being consistent,” and started saying, “I’m learning how to be more disciplined.” Instead of obsessing over whether I’d fail, I began to see challenges as opportunities to grow.

That small shift changed everything.

Suddenly, each day felt like a fresh start instead of another day to fall short. I didn’t need to be perfect; I just needed to improve, bit by bit.

The more I embraced this perspective, the less pressure I felt. And ironically, without that enormous pressure, I found it easier to act.

It reminded me of something I’d written about in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.

In a chapter about self-awareness, I’d explored how letting go of rigid self-judgment allows space for genuine transformation. The same principle applied here: once I let go of the idea that I was “just lazy,” I discovered I could actually be the opposite.

Practical steps that changed everything

That philosophical shift was necessary, but I also needed practical, tangible steps. Here are the strategies that took me from daydreaming to doing:

• Creating accountability: I reached out to a friend and we started a weekly check-in. Every Monday, I’d let him know my top three goals for the week. The following Monday, I’d report back. It was nerve-racking at first, because there was nowhere to hide. But the accountability kept me in line. If I didn’t follow through, I wasn’t just disappointing myself—I was letting him down, too.

• Breaking goals into micro-tasks: Instead of saying, “Write a book,” I’d say, “Draft 500 words today.” Breaking my ambitions into bite-size actions eliminated the intimidation factor. I wasn’t trying to conquer Everest every morning; I was just taking the next step.

• Embracing mindfulness: Mindfulness isn’t just about sitting in lotus position, chanting mantras. It’s about being present in whatever you’re doing. When I wrote, I tried to write with full focus. When I meditated, I let that be my only task. By training my mind to be present, I found I could complete tasks faster and better.

• Rewarding incremental success: I used to think rewards were only for big wins—like finishing an entire project. But I realized celebrating small milestones was just as important. Maybe it was a Friday movie night if I met my weekly word count, or a simple pat on the back after completing my daily run. These small rewards kept me motivated.

• Learning from failures: I had plenty of days when I didn’t do what I set out to do. Instead of dwelling on them, I got curious. Why did I skip my routine? Was it because I stayed up too late? Was I feeling overwhelmed? Figuring out the ‘why’ helped me fix the problem at its root, so it didn’t keep happening.

• Staying inspired: Whenever I felt my motivation dipping, I’d listen to interviews with people who’d already achieved what I wanted to do, or read articles on HackSpirit to remind myself what was possible. Surrounding myself—virtually or otherwise—with action-takers made me want to step up my game, too.

Perhaps the best summary of these steps comes from a famous Bruce Lee quote: “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

It was a direct call-out of my old habit: overthinking and underdoing.

That quote has become a mantra. Whenever I catch myself spiraling into analysis paralysis, I remind myself of Lee’s words and get moving.

Final words

No one is coming to rescue us from our own bad habits, insecurities, or fears.

That might sound harsh, but it’s also unbelievably empowering. Recognizing that we have the power—and responsibility—to change our circumstances puts the ball firmly in our court.

I’ll leave you with this thought: the journey from self-sabotage to self-mastery is ongoing. Even now, I catch myself drifting back into old patterns.

But these days, I have the tools to snap out of it quickly.

By acknowledging my fear, embracing a growth mindset, and staying accountable, I can keep the momentum going.

If you’re feeling stuck, know that you’re not alone—and that the solution might just be one small step away. The next move is yours.