Lachlan Brown
We all want to be happy. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we hold on to habits that make happiness harder to find.
The truth is, happiness isn’t just about what we do—it’s also about what we stop doing. Some habits drain our energy, cloud our minds, and keep us stuck in negativity.
If feeling happier in daily life is your goal, it might be time to let go of a few things that are standing in the way. Here are eight habits to say goodbye to if you want to make room for more joy.
1) Chasing perfection
Perfection sounds like a good thing, but in reality, it’s a trap.
When you’re always trying to make everything flawless, you set yourself up for stress, frustration, and disappointment. Nothing will ever feel “good enough,” and that constant pressure can steal your joy.
Happiness comes from progress, not perfection. It’s about appreciating where you are while striving to grow—not beating yourself up because things aren’t perfect.
Let go of the need for perfection, and you’ll find more peace in daily life.
2) Overthinking everything
I used to replay conversations in my head for hours, wondering if I said the wrong thing or if someone took it the wrong way.
It was exhausting. I’d lie awake at night analyzing every little detail, stressing over things that probably didn’t even matter. And the worst part? It never changed anything—except my mood.
Overthinking keeps you stuck in a cycle of worry and doubt. Instead of enjoying the present, you’re lost in an endless loop of “what ifs.”
Once I started letting go of that habit—reminding myself that not everything needs to be dissected—I felt lighter, freer, and so much happier.
3) Comparing yourself to others
It’s never been easier to compare your life to someone else’s. Social media is full of carefully curated highlights, making it seem like everyone else has it all figured out.
But the truth is, constant comparison can make you miserable. Studies have shown that people who frequently compare themselves to others are more likely to experience feelings of envy, lower self-esteem, and even depression.
Happiness isn’t about measuring up to someone else’s life—it’s about appreciating your own. When you stop focusing on what others have and start valuing what you already do, contentment comes naturally.
4) Clinging to what you can’t control
Buddhism teaches that attachment is one of the main causes of suffering. The more we try to control things—situations, outcomes, even people—the more frustrated and unhappy we become.
Life is full of uncertainty, and no matter how much we resist it, some things are simply out of our hands. The key to happiness isn’t controlling everything—it’s learning to let go.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how ancient Buddhist wisdom can help us navigate life with more ease and less stress. When we stop clinging to what we can’t change, we free ourselves to focus on what truly matters.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up—it means making peace with life as it is, rather than how we wish it would be. And that’s where real happiness begins.
5) seeking validation from others
For a long time, approval from others felt like the measure of my worth. A compliment could make my day, but criticism—no matter how small—would stay with me for weeks.
The problem with seeking validation is that it puts your happiness in someone else’s hands. You end up shaping your choices around what will make others happy instead of what truly feels right for you.
Real confidence comes from within. When you stop chasing approval and start trusting yourself, life feels lighter. You no longer need permission to be yourself, and that freedom is where happiness grows.
6) Always chasing happiness
It sounds strange, but the more you chase happiness, the harder it is to find.
When you’re constantly searching for the next thing that will “finally” make you happy—a new job, a new relationship, a new achievement—you end up missing the joy that’s already in front of you. The pursuit itself becomes exhausting, and happiness starts to feel like something always just out of reach.
True happiness isn’t about endlessly striving for more. It’s about finding contentment in the small, ordinary moments of daily life. When you stop chasing happiness and start appreciating what you already have, that’s when it naturally starts to show up.
7) Holding grudges
Holding onto resentment feels like a form of control—like refusing to forgive someone somehow keeps them accountable. But in reality, grudges don’t punish the other person; they only weigh you down.
Anger and bitterness take up space in your mind and heart, leaving little room for peace or joy. The longer you hold onto them, the more power they have over you.
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of carrying it. When you let go of past hurts, you make space for happiness to take their place.
8) Waiting for the “right” time
It’s easy to convince yourself that happiness will come later—when you have more money, when you’re in a better relationship, when life finally feels “settled.”
But there will always be another milestone, another challenge, another reason to put happiness on hold. If you keep waiting for the perfect moment, you’ll spend your whole life waiting.
Happiness isn’t something you delay for the future. It’s something you create in the present.
Bottom line: happiness is in the letting go
We often think of happiness as something we need to chase, something just beyond our reach. But more often than not, it’s not about adding more to our lives—it’s about letting go of what’s holding us back.
The habits we cling to out of fear, comfort, or routine can quietly drain our joy without us even realizing it. But when we release the need for perfection, comparison, control, and approval, we create space for something better—peace, contentment, and a deeper sense of fulfillment.
In my book, [*Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how ancient wisdom teaches us to detach from the things that cause suffering and embrace a life of greater ease and clarity.
Happiness isn’t found in some distant future or perfect set of circumstances. It’s in the way we choose to experience life right now. And sometimes, the simplest path to joy is learning to let go.
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