7 things successful people do in private that make them stand out in public, according to psychology

For years, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of frustration and fascination whenever I saw someone who seemed to have it all together. You know the type—calm under pressure, brimming with confidence, and somehow balancing a thriving career with an equally fulfilling personal life.

Meanwhile, I was stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, constantly questioning my choices and wondering if I’d ever catch up.

I’m not just talking about admiration—I’m talking about that raw, nagging feeling of “What am I doing wrong?” It felt like they had access to some secret manual for life, and I was fumbling around without a clue.

As someone deeply passionate about psychology and personal growth, I couldn’t let it go. I had to figure it out.

And so, I started digging. I observed, I read, and I experimented. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight, but eventually, the pieces started to click. The habits and mindsets that set these people apart weren’t magic—they were intentional, and they were accessible.

In this article, I’m going to share the seven key things I’ve learned that successful people do behind the scenes to shine in public. These lessons shifted my perspective and my life, and I hope they’ll do the same for you.

1. They embrace solitude

You might think that successful people are always out and about, networking and making connections. But in reality, many successful individuals place high value on their private time.

According to psychology, solitude can be a breeding ground for creativity, self-discovery, and emotional balance. And it’s in these quiet moments that many high-achievers find their best ideas.

As the founder of Hack Spirit and a psychology enthusiast, I used to think that the key to success was to be constantly busy and connected. But I was wrong.

The truth is, our brains need downtime to process information, generate new ideas, and recharge. And successful people know this.

They carve out time each day for solitude – whether it’s an early morning run, a solitary lunch, or just a few quiet moments of meditation before bed.

If you’re always rushing from one thing to the next, consider scheduling some downtime into your day. Even just 10 minutes of solitude can make a big difference.

2. They practice self-reflection

Another habit that sets successful people apart is the practice of self-reflection.

This was a game-changer for me. When I started Hack Spirit, I was so focused on grinding, hustling, and hitting targets that I rarely took the time to reflect on my experiences and learn from them.

Then I stumbled upon a quote from the famous psychologist Carl Jung: “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

This simple statement made me realize the power of introspection.

I started journaling, spending a few minutes each day writing down my thoughts and feelings, my successes and failures. This practice helped me to gain insights into myself, my motivations, and my goals.

And it’s not just me. Successful people all over the world use self-reflection as a tool to learn from their experiences, grow personally and professionally, and make better decisions in the future.

In fact, a study published in The Journal of Psychology found that individuals who engaged in self-reflection reported higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being.

Self-reflection doesn’t have to be complicated. Just take a few minutes each day to jot down what you did well, what you could do better, and any insights you’ve gained.

This simple habit can help you stay focused on your goals, learn from your mistakes, and chart your course towards success.

3. They prioritize physical health

It’s no secret that physical health plays a crucial role in our overall well-being. But what I didn’t realize until a few years into running Hack Spirit was just how much it could impact my professional success.

I used to work late into the night, surviving on takeout and energy drinks. My energy levels were low, my stress levels were high, and my productivity was suffering.

Then I made a change. I started prioritizing my physical health. I began with small steps: swapping junk food for healthier options, taking short breaks to stretch or go for a walk, and making sure I was getting enough sleep.

The results were astonishing. My energy levels soared, my focus sharpened, and I found myself accomplishing more in less time.

Successful people understand that their physical health is a cornerstone of their overall success. They take care of their bodies through regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep.

Prioritizing your physical health might mean different things for different people. Maybe it’s going for a run every morning, practicing yoga, or cooking healthy meals at home. Find what works for you and make it a part of your daily routine.

Remember, your body is your most important tool. Take care of it, and it will take care of you.

4. They maintain a growth mindset

Successful people don’t just rest on their laurels. They’re always looking to grow, learn, and improve. This is known as having a “growth mindset.”

I first learned about this concept during my research into psychology for Hack Spirit. The term was coined by psychologist Carol Dweck in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.”

Dweck conducted a study at Stanford University, which found that people with a growth mindset – those who believe their abilities can be developed through hard work and dedication – are more likely to succeed than those with a fixed mindset, who believe their abilities are innate and unchangeable.

This finding resonated with me. When I started Hack Spirit, I knew little about running a business. But I had a growth mindset. I believed that with hard work and perseverance, I could learn and improve. And I did.

You can cultivate a growth mindset too. Start by acknowledging that you have the potential to grow and learn. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes – they’re an essential part of the learning process.

5. They set clear boundaries

Successful people understand the importance of setting clear boundaries, both at work and in their personal life.

In the early days of Hack Spirit, I found myself trying to be everything to everyone, answering emails at all hours, and working non-stop. It was draining, and it was not sustainable.

Then I started setting boundaries. I designated specific work hours and stuck to them. I learned to say ‘no’ when necessary, without feeling guilty. I made sure to allocate time for my personal life too.

The change was remarkable. Not only did my productivity improve, but so did my mental health. I felt less stressed and more in control of my life.

Setting clear boundaries means respecting your own time and energy. It’s about knowing your limits and not overextending yourself.

This might involve turning off work emails after a certain hour, making time for hobbies or relaxation, or simply learning to say ‘no’ when you’re already overcommitted.

6. They practice gratitude

It might seem simple, but practicing gratitude is a habit that many successful people incorporate into their daily routine.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who kept a weekly gratitude journal reported higher levels of well-being, optimism, and even physical health compared to those who didn’t.

I’ve found this to be true in my own life as well. When I started Hack Spirit, I found myself getting caught up in what I didn’t have or what wasn’t going right. It was a negative mindset that was holding me back.

Then I came across a quote from psychologist Dr. Robert Emmons, one of the leading researchers on gratitude: “Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier.”

I took this to heart and started a daily gratitude practice. Each day, I would write down three things I was grateful for. It could be something as small as a good cup of coffee or as big as a business achievement.

This simple act shifted my focus from what was wrong to what was right, and it had a profound impact on my overall happiness and success.

Practicing gratitude isn’t about ignoring the challenges or difficulties in your life. It’s about recognizing and appreciating the good things you do have.

Try it for yourself. Start each day by writing down three things you’re grateful for. You might be surprised at the positive impact it has on your life.

7. They embrace failure

This might seem counterintuitive, but successful people aren’t afraid of failure. In fact, they embrace it.

In my journey with Hack Spirit, I’ve had my fair share of failures. There were times when I doubted myself and considered giving up. But I realized that failure was not the opposite of success; it was a part of it.

Instead of seeing failure as a setback, successful people see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. They understand that every failure brings them one step closer to success.

Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This mindset is what sets successful people apart.

The next time you face a setback or a failure, don’t let it discourage you. Instead, ask yourself: What can I learn from this? How can this experience help me grow?

Embracing failure is not about being reckless or not caring about doing well. It’s about understanding that mistakes and setbacks are an essential part of the journey to success.

So here’s a practical exercise: Think back to a recent failure or setback you’ve experienced. Instead of dwelling on the negative, write down three things you’ve learned from it. This simple shift in perspective can make a huge difference in your journey towards success.

Conclusion

There you have it: the 7 things successful people do in private that make them stand out in public. But remember, success isn’t about following someone else’s blueprint. It’s about creating your own.

Take these habits and tailor them to fit your life. Maybe you start by practicing gratitude each morning or setting clear boundaries in your workday. The important thing is to start somewhere.

And remember, success doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey, filled with learning, growth, and yes, even failure.

So be patient with yourself. Celebrate your small wins, learn from your setbacks, and keep moving forward. Because success isn’t just about the destination; it’s about the journey you take to get there.

Keep going, keep growing, and don’t forget to enjoy the ride.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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