It’s true that finding yourself and discovering exactly who you are and who you’re meant to be is one of the greatest adventures in life.
It’s not always an easy journey.
For some, it can take years of heartache and hard work to get there, while for others it seemingly happens overnight.
So, how do you know if you’re on the right path to finding yourself?
Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a manual, as much as we might wish it did from time to time. And even individual is so different.
The right path for you and your true self is vastly different to the right path for your best friend.
Do you feel a little differently in yourself lately?
Has your behaviour changed? Is your attitude shifting?
There’s a good chance that you are on the right path to finding yourself and being who you’re meant to be, but it’s hard to know for sure.
Check out these 10 signs below to help you.
10 signs you’re finding yourself (and you’re starting to unleash who you really are)
1) You’re feeling uneasy in social situations
Finding yourself means going through a big period of change.
Put simply, you aren’t the same person you once were before.
It’s natural to start to feel uneasy when you’re out with friends. What once drew you towards them, has changed in you.
This is a good sign that you are on the path to finding yourself.
What once excited you, is now a drawback. It’s holding you back instead.
People come in and out of our lives depending on what we’re going through. While there are friends who will remain by our side through all the years, there are others who will come and go to see you through certain periods.
While it might be a sad realisation for you that you have moved on from this crowd and no longer get the same sense of thrill you once did in social situations, remember it is a good sign.
You are on the path to finding you – and that’s a great thing.
Sure, the road might be a bumpy one with a few goodbyes along the way, but your life will be forever changed (for the better) once you finally unleash who you really are.
2) Your hobbies have changed
Do you remember the days hanging out with your friends and strumming along to some tunes on your guitar? Perhaps you even belted out some words every now and then. It was the thing to do in your spare time.
Before we find ourselves, we are very easily led.
It’s natural to gravitate towards hobbies and activities that our friends are enjoying, just trying to fit in and find what we enjoy.
If you’re starting to find that you’re more interested in finding your own passions, rather than following what your friends are doing, then it’s a good sign that you are well and truly on the path to finding yourself.
It all comes down to a matter of choice. And you’re beginning to make the right choices for yourself, which will help you unleash the person you’re really meant to be.
It can be daunting at first.
Turning up to that first cooking/sewing/crafting/sports session on your own without your group of friends by your side.
But the more you explore your own interests and discover what you’re passionate about, the closer you get to finding your true self.
Remember, this stage can take a lot of trial and error. It’s OK to pick up a hobby and decide it’s not for you. That’s all part of the process.
Take your time and really listen to yourself (and not those around you). That will help you unleash who you really are.
3) You’re thinking about the future
It’s one thing to plan which bar you’re going to head out to this weekend.
It’s another entirely to start thinking about your future and where you want to be.
Are you starting to feel like you’re wasting valuable time that could be better spent helping you reach your future goal and get you where you want to be?
This is a good sign that you are on the right path to finding yourself.
You’re no longer interested in where you stand socially and what events you may or may not be invited to.
This is because you’re entirely focused on yourself and where you want to be in life. This is a great place to be.
The only way you can truly unleash who you are is by dedicating some time and energy to finding out exactly who that is.
The first step is actually wanting to work towards this and putting you first.
Ready to give up that social life to focus on you?
You’re definitely on the right path.
Time to tune out all the Britneys/Sophies/Ellas who want to tell you all the amazing places they’ve been invited to, and focus all your energies on what you want out of life.
At the end of the day, this is the way to find true happiness, not just fleeting joy.
4) You’re letting toxic people go
There are healthy relationships and there are unhealthy relationships in our lives. But it can be hard to recognise the latter when you are caught up in people-pleasing and being part of the crowd.
If you’re starting to recognise there are friends and family in your life who aren’t supportive of you and what you want, then it’s a good sign that you’re on the right path to finding yourself.
Often, it’s other people who hold us back from discovering our true selves. They selfishly choose not to support our wants and desires, so they end up being pushed to the side and forgotten about in the process.
By dropping this dead weight, you have given yourself the freedom to pursue your dreams and actually unleash who you’re meant to be. You no longer have people pushing your dreams to the side and stopping you from discovering who you are.
It’s a very freeing experience.
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5) You cringe at old photos
Do you remember a time before Facebook?
Me either, but I often wish I hadn’t posted so many photos in my early teens.
Looking back now, they are simply cringeworthy. Have you had the same experience?
Have you scrolled back through old photos of yourself and found yourself asking, “What was I thinking?” or “Why was I wearing that?”
This uneasy feeling has washed over you because you’ve grown up. You’re not the same person as the person in that photograph, and you feel disconnected from the choices you once made.
It’s a very normal feeling and shows that you have matured and found yourself on the path to discovering who you are.
And it’s a far cry from that teenager in those old photos.
If looking at old photos is nudging you to move on from those days and leave them behind you, then it’s a great sign that you have changed and are on the path to finding your true self.
While you might be a far way off where you want to be, you have made the first step, which is to leave the past behind you and move on to the future.
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6) Peer pressure is a thing of the past
Does anything make you more uneasy than watching other people just going with the flow to make their lives easier?
Sure, that’s something you probably did when you were younger. Don’t worry, it’s something that almost everyone does at some point in their lives.
Peer pressure is a real trap that so many teens fall into in an attempt to both impress and fit in with social circles. It’s especially rampant in those teenage years, but can’t last way beyond this. It just gets harder to recognise.
But this is something we leave behind when we embark on the path of finding ourselves.
If watching others still fall into this trap is making you feel uneasy, it’s because you have moved on, and can’t bear to watch others who haven’t.
You’ve found your voice and no longer feel compelled to make a decision or do something just for the sake of fitting in.
You base your decisions on what you want, and that’s a good indication that you are being true to yourself in the process.
Your happiness comes first, and you’re not willing to sacrifice who you are and what you believe just to make someone else happy in the process.
Watching someone bend to fit in makes you squeamish because you’re already on the path to finding who you are and leaving all that behind you.
7) You question everything
Have you found yourself stopping and questioning every little thing in your life? Why do I wear heels? Why do I dye my hair? Why do I play the guitar?
It’s because you’ve hit a crossroads. You’re ready to discover exactly who you are, but this process involves unravelling your past and digging through the bits that are you, and the bits that are you following the crowd and bending the rules.
It can be hard to distinguish between the two.
The best place to start is with questions to help you really discover the real you.
If you find yourself questioning everything you do, wear, eat, say… it’s because you’re on the path to finding the true you.
In the process, you are muddling through and working out what parts of your life are you, and what parts have been influenced by those around you.
It’s so easy to be led astray by others, while believing that the likes, dislikes, interests, and so on are yours as well. We all want to fit in so much, we’re often willing to give up a part of ourselves in order to do so. If you’re questioning everything, it’s because you’re now on the path to finding yourself.
This can take time. We become so ravelled up in our friends, fashion statements and other people’s dreams, that it can be a long path to working out our own personal goals, tastes and interests in life.
Questioning is a great place to start: do I really like purple clothes, or is it because Stacey told me to wear them?
Do I really like sushi, or is it just what everyone else eats?
So many questions, but they will help lead you to the answer of who you are. You’ll be unleashing your true self in no time at all.
8) You’re willing to stand up for yourself
Whether it’s at work, with friends, or even with family, the ability to say “no” isn’t something that comes easily to a lot of people.
If you’re finding that the word bursts out of your mouth almost on its own accord, it’s a good sign that you are much more in tune with your wants and desires in life.
When we’re on the path to finding ourselves, we go through a huge period of learning and discovering. This shapes who we are and what we think and that’s when we start to notice the changes within ourselves.
Being able to recognise when you need to say “no” if a situation doesn’t feel right to you, is a huge learning moment. It means you’re now learning to speak your own truth, rather than staying quiet and letting everyone else speak it for you.
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9) You find the time to be bored
No one wants to be bored, right?
Actually, being bored is a luxury, and the only thing that you can enjoy when you’re on the right path to finding yourself.
Before this point, your life is so full of drama, toxic relationships, the fight to please other people and so much negativity that you simply don’t have a moment to yourself to even contemplate being bored.
You are constantly being pulled in multiple directions and never even stopping to question whether or not this is what you want out of life.
When you’re on the path of becoming the person you want to be in life, you’ll find yourself with all this extra time after ditching all the deadweight, drama and negativity that once held you back.
So, what do you do with all this free time?
You can start by looking towards your future and setting some goals to help achieve those dreams. Having clear and actionable goals will help you stay on course and keep you on the path of being true to yourself.
Who knows what you can achieve with a little extra time on your hands dedicated to you.
10) The future scares you
Does the idea of the future scare you?
Don’t worry, this feeling is completely normal. In fact, it’s a great feeling to have. If you’re being true to yourself then planning for the future is scary. It’s full of what-ifs and unknowns and these can be hard to face when you’re working so hard towards something.
But it’s a great sign that you are being true to yourself.
People who aren’t being true to themselves barely give the future a second thought. They are so wrapped up in the lives of others, that they haven’t even considered where they want to be in five years’ time.
Of course, the future doesn’t scare them, it’s not even on their radar.
So, if the thought of the future is scaring you, take it as a great sign and don’t let it overwhelm you. It’s a completely normal feeling.
After all, anything worth having in life takes time and effort to achieve. It’s about having confidence in yourself and who you are and knowing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Scary doesn’t mean bad. It just means you have a challenge ahead of you. One that you will have no problems overcoming once you unleash the real you and stay true to yourself.
How to start discovering yourself…
Recognise a number of these signs in yourself? Well done, it’s a great sign that you’re on the right path to finding the real you.
If not, don’t be disheartened, we all have to begin somewhere so make a start to your journey today.
If you want to discover your true self, then start small. Work out the areas of your life you’re not happy with and question why.
Go out and find some new hobbies and start putting yourself first. In order to discover who you really are, you have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone to find yourself.
It can take time and heartache to get there, so make sure you persevere.
Once you manage to find and unleash the real you, your life will be changed forever. For the better.
So go on, set yourself your first small goal and start believing in yourself. It’s time to start your own journey of self-discovery.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,