Although it’s common for people to say, “Know your worth”, we’re often the worst at actually gauging it.
It’s difficult to tell how nice or bad we are to others. Negativity tends to creep into our minds when we don’t see any of the effects of our actions.
When we give a gift to our friend on their birthday, we think to ourselves, “I feel bad because I could’ve given them a much better gift than this.”
But to your friend, simply receiving a gift from us could mean the world to them — we might not have just been aware of it.
From the outside looking in, you’re still being a good friend.
Being self-aware isn’t easy, so here are 13 tips to help you realize that you aren’t as bad as you think.
1. You Have Good Relationships
Look around at the quality of relationships that you have. It’s a sign of how good you might actually be.
You’re able to talk to your family about your issues without judgment from them.
Although you may not have the most friends, you feel certain that the group that you have will last potentially your whole lifetime.
You talk to each other often without feeling the need to constantly catch up. When you’ve accidentally left your wallet at home, they don’t hesitate to offer to pay for you.
You even have decent relationships with your acquaintance, friends of friends, and people working in different departments.
2. You Enjoy Listening To Other People
People often tell you that you’re a good listener, but that’s just because you’re actually interested in what they have to say.
You even encourage people to share their opinions when you’re in a group conversation.
Listening is one of the most common skills that most people forget to practice.
Instead of paying attention to someone talking, they might’ve already formed their own reply on the matter and are just waiting for their turn to speak, or they reach for their phone and begin mindlessly scrolling.
But not you. You’d rather be in the moment and present for the other person.
3. You Practice Your Values
There’s a tendency for people to say that they believe in certain values like honesty or taking accountability, but their actions don’t seem to reflect that.
Someone may say that their goal is to lose weight.
But after a few days, you hear them rationalizing cheat day after cheat day, until they’ve given up their goal altogether.
You keep your word.
You always look to follow through on the pledges that you’ve made, whether to other people or even to yourself.
4. You Always Respect Others
No matter who the person is or what situation you’re in, you always have the decency to show respect.
Usually, when someone encounters someone of a differing belief, it would be easy for them to get into an argument.
An atheist discussing morality with a Christian, a republican arguing about policies with a democrat, a millennial talking trends with a conservative senior.
While people tend to judge others simply based on what they support, you go beyond that.
You want to understand what makes them different, even willing to agree to disagree on your personal stances.
5. You Always Look For Ways To Help Others
When we see someone at work struggling, it’s easy to ignore them.
The common belief is to mind our own business and not interfere with another person.
But sometimes there are people that seem to genuinely be stuck with a problem but are too modest and shy to ask for help.
Instead of watching them get frustrated and feel defeated, you take the initiative to offer to help.
Maybe they don’t understand a certain piece of software or they can’t come up with an idea for marketing execution. Whatever it may be, you’re always willing to support them.
6. You’re Honest
People tend to select parts of themselves to show to others because they’re afraid of what others might think of them.
They want to be left out of group discussions and gatherings. So they say they don’t like movies that they haven’t watched only because others have said it was bad.
They don’t like pineapples on pizza because it’s popular to hate it.
You don’t give in to peer pressure. You unapologetically love pineapples on pizza even though it’s popular to dislike it.
You unashamedly enjoy watching the movies that weren’t received well among audiences.
You don’t lie about who you are.
7. You Have A Goal You’re Working Towards
Even though you’re struggling to see your own self-worth, you know deep down that you’d want to have a family or own a business or set up a small foundation for a cause you believe in.
So you try to meet people, watch business videos online, or talk to others about a potentially curable disease.
Not understanding exactly what you want to do and have in life is a difficult problem that not many are able to solve in time.
But having at least one goal you’re trying to work towards already puts you ahead of other people.
It doesn’t matter if you’re failing at the moment, what’s important is that you’re taking the initiative to at least try.
8. You Avoid Drama
When you look back at your life, you might find that you’ve managed to avoid the petty drama that people around you experienced.
It’s not that you live an unexciting life.
You still manage to go out with friends and joke around with your family, but getting involved in gossip-worthy issues like cheating or scandals? That isn’t you.
That’s because when drama does seem to begin creeping into your life, you’re quick to resolve it.
When you’ve done wrong, you don’t wait until a rift appears splitting the friend group. You’re upfront and apologize — something that not many people have the strength to do.
9. People Often Trust You With Their Secrets
You find that people seem to share secrets with you, almost without having to ask them about it.
You might even be asking them, “Why are you telling me this?”, to which they’ll often reply that it’s because they trust you.
Because of this, it’s common for you to look back at your past actions and wonder, “I was being trustworthy there?”
They ask you to not tell another soul, and you promise to do so (also maybe because you aren’t even sure who to tell it to anyway).
Other people tend to use secrets as a way to blackmail someone or talk badly about them behind their backs.
It sets up a bad track record for them. So if someone is telling you their secret, that means you’ve been doing well.
10. You Don’t Look For Recognition
You understand the value of doing hard work for the sake of work. While people work hard to win employee of the month or to get a raise; you do it because it’s your job.
When you donate to charity, you don’t make a big deal about it.
When someone thanks you for helping them, you don’t hold it over them, like a favor you’re going to cash in in the future.
You do it because it’s what you truly believe to be the right thing to do.
11. You Speak Clearly
Being an effective communicator isn’t something that comes naturally to most people.
They second guess themselves, unsure of what they’re even trying to say.
When you have a problem with your significant other, you’re honest with your feelings and you’re willing to understand their side too.
You believe that any conflict can be resolved with discussion, so you always do your best to communicate openly and honestly.
12. You Give Yourself Time To Rest And Recharge
Hustle culture promotes non stop working to the point of dangerous burnout and mental health issues.
But you don’t subscribe to that. You understand your limits and stop working once you’ve reached the point when quality begins to drop.
You take up hobbies and recharge. You may not recognize it, but these are healthy ways to show self-love.
13. You’re Always Looking To Improve Yourself
While others may go about most of their lives without thinking about who they are and if they’re doing anything right or wrong, you’ve taken these moments to reflect on yourself.
They say the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.
If you feel like you aren’t working hard enough, that’s okay. It’s now your chance to evaluate yourself and possibly improve what you’ve been doing, which is always a noble effort.
You may look at how productive or smart other people are.
It would be helpful to remember, however, that people live an entirely different life than you, so it’s impossible to make any fair comparisons.
The only person that you should be comparing yourself to was the person that you were yesterday.
Try to take this moment to look back at your life and appreciate how far you’ve come from your younger self.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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