It seems that from the moment we are born people are talking about who we might marry.
Young mothers pair up their babies and laugh about how they will be a couple some day.
Toddlers are photographed holding hands and sweet “oohs” and “ahhs” are whispered when parents get the picture just right.
Throughout elementary school and middle school our parents tease us about boys and girls we like, and then in high school it’s all about “who are you dating?”
When we get to college, the pressure is on to have a full calendar, social life, and significant other.
Almost 25? Well, you better find someone and think about settling down for the long haul.
No wonder we drive ourselves crazy looking for love – it seems to be the only thing people ever think about.
If you are one of those people who has spent a lifetime waiting for the right person to come along and feels like it is never going to happen for you, consider these 5 tips to help remind you that there is more to life than just sitting around waiting for the half that will make you whole.
1) You are Not Too Old
Regardless of your age, you are not too old to find love.
Sure, it might seem like you are and it might really feel like you are, but “all the good ones” are not gone, even at your age.
You never know who you might meet or run into, or what old flames might spark again with more passion than ever before.
But these encounters can only happen if you don’t declare your seniority to the world and keep your eye on the prize. With age comes wisdom and you’ll be better suited to find a mate who is a better compliment for you.
When you are young, it’s like a shot in the dark because you don’t even know what you want in a partner, but when you are older, you value different things and that could be the key to finding someone to love.
2) Love is Not Reserved for the Very Special People in the World
Keep in mind that although it feels like everyone around you is in love, it’s not true.
There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing special about them. You’ll find love when it’s meant to be.
Ask yourself how happy those couples really are and maybe even make a point of asking them – you might be surprised to find that many people are just going through the motions because they don’t want to be alone.
You might not be in love, but at least you aren’t pretending to be in love or hold on to a relationship just for the sake of holding on to it.
That’s some messed up thinking right there.
Looking to increase your mental toughness? Check out our new eBook on the Art of Resilience. Resilience is a crucial ingredient to a happy, healthy life, and determines how high we rise above what threatens to wear us down. Check it out here: https://t.co/9VNCGXqdIR pic.twitter.com/z7UDqRhNCg
— Lachlan Brown (@Lachybe) September 20, 2018
3) It Might Be a Numbers Game
Here’s the thing: if you don’t buy a lottery ticket, you can’t win the lottery.
The same goes for dating: if you don’t go out and meet people, you can’t fall in love. Okay, sure, you can meet people online, but unless there has been some new invention we aren’t aware of, you still need to go out and have a date or two to see if this thing is going to work.
So head on out and meet some new people. But don’t just go out looking for love. Go out to just meet people and see what happens.
You might not meet the one for you, but you might make some cool friends who know someone who is just right for you.
4) Relax and Do You
As the old saying goes, “a watched pot never boils.” Don’t focus on finding love.
Get a hobby, make some new friends, take up a dance class, go to the movies by yourself, write, read, paint, travel, eat, sleep, have fun, get a dog, go to the park, take a road trip, start a business – there are a million things you could be doing to make your life better.
Instead, you are probably sitting on the couch feeling sorry for yourself because nobody loves you. But is that really true? Don’t you love you?
Go out and live your life and love will come knocking when you least expect it.
5) Love Doesn’t Make Everything Better
If you think that hooking up with someone on a long-term basis is going to suddenly improve your life, you might be sorely mistaken.
You might find things are better at first, but that is just because you are focusing on that person and not focusing on fixing the other areas of your life that could use a tune-up.
Be sure to balance what you want in life with the amount of responsibility you put on another human being. It can’t be their job to make you happy.
Plus, if you are miserable, they won’t be around long enough to take on that job. Go find things that will create happiness in your life and leave your soon-to-be-lover off the hook for that happiness.
Check out Hack Spirit's eBook on How to Use Buddhist Teachings for a Mindful, Peaceful and Happy Life.
Here's what you'll learn:
• How and why to be mindful: There are many simple exercises you can do to bring a mindful attitude to quotidian activities such as eating breakfast, walking the dog, or sitting on the floor to stretch.
• How to meditate: Many beginning meditators have a lot of questions: How should I sit? How long should I meditate? What if it feels awkward or uncomfortable or my foot falls asleep? Am I doing it wrong? In this book, you’ll find simple steps and explanations to answer these questions and demystify meditation. (And no, you’re not doing it wrong).
• How to approach relationships: This section offers tips for interacting with friends and enemies alike and walks you through a loving kindness meditation.
• How to minimize harm: There is a lot of suffering in the world; it’s best for everyone if we try not to add to it. Here you’ll read about the idea of ahimsa (non-harming) and how you might apply it to your actions.
• How to let things go: As Buddhism teaches, excessive attachment (whether we’re clinging to something or actively resisting it) all too often leads to suffering. Practitioners of mindfulness meditation find peace in letting go and accepting things as they are in the moment.
Check it out here.
