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4 elements of a twin flame relationship (and 26 signs you’re in one)

Have you ever met someone and instantly felt a connection to them?

You find yourself thinking about them, agreeing with them, wondering what they are doing, and enjoying every second that you are together – it’s an intense kind of relationship and one that many people don’t have the chance to experience.

It’s called a twin flame relationship, or twin souls relationship, and unlike the more traditional idea of a soul mate, twin flame relationships are built on the give and take, hot and cold, black and white or a relationship rather than the similarities between two people that are often more common in relationships.

According to Alex Myles in Elephant Journal, twin flames are noticeable to each other as soon as they meet:

“Twin flames have an instant, instinctive and undeniably intense bond. As soon as they meet, they feel an overwhelming and familiar “home” sensation, as though they have known one another before.”

Twin Flame lovers are characterized by many things, so before we get to the 26 signs that you might be in a twin flame relationship, let’s talk about the four essential elements that underpin this amazing relationship.

The 4 most important elements of a twin flame relationship

A couple bonding. Signs he respects you.

As mentioned above, the meeting of twin flames or twin souls brings an instant, intuitive feeling of connection and of “coming home”.

I believe that there is an undeniable, overwhelming feeling that they have been brought together as part of a higher calling.

The early stages of twin flame unions may be filled with turmoil, challenges, and pain as the two work to merge and balance their energies.

In fact, author and astrologer Kelley Rosano explains that she believes that twin flame relationships can be powerful, but “often twin flames don’t have enough self-mastery to maintain a healthy relationship.”

This powerful, magnetic connection may cause partners to separate for a short time to heal and address old wounds, all the while knowing that separation is an illusion and their connection and shared energy will keep them linked regardless of physical space.

According to Alex Myles in Elephant Journal, twin flames could “potentially…be the most loving and transformational experiences, but, unfortunately, often in the beginning, they are filled with turbulence, trauma and pain.”

However, once equilibrium is reached, twin flames will experience the most loving, transformational partnership imaginable, with a deep connection emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

In fact, spiritual coach Tanya Carroll Richardson says in Mind Body Green that a twin flame relationship is made up of two people who balance each other out.

It’s different from a kindred spirit.

Also, before you read further, please make sure you aren’t in a co-dependent or unhealthy relationship.

Twin flame relationships and co-dependent relationships are very different – twin flame relationships are defined by respect, equality, kindness and healthy boundaries.

On the other hand, unhealthy and toxic relationships are defined by obsessiveness, unequalness, unhealthy attachments, feeling trapped, and reliant on your partner for self-worth.

Some people, unfortunately, confuse the two, which doesn’t do anyone any good.

Now in order for the higher calling of a twin flame union to occur and function properly, I believe that these four elements need to be addressed and balanced. Keep in mind that this is just my opinion. It may be different for different people.

1) Deep Emotional Connection

By attuning to the heart center, the epicenter of knowing, thinking, and feeling twin flames may receive the loving bond and comforting reassurances of their connection.

Research at the Institute of Heartmath supports these findings based on studies involving the bond between mother and child.

Simply being close to her baby may induce a mother’s brainwaves to synchronize with her child’s heartbeat, which in turn makes her more attuned to the electromagnetic vibrations emitting from her child.

A twin flame connection may experience this same type of exchange of energy, and in some cases, are energetic mirror opposites of each other.

This reflection of their flaws or faults may feel negative at first but is in fact deeply positive and may lead to some important healing breakthroughs.

They may find themselves loving deeper and harder than they previously thought possible. The vulnerability needed for such a connection takes courage, since hidden emotions or unhealed wounds may come to light before real healing can begin.

Once this sometimes-difficult work is done, and a deep emotional connection is solidified, twin flame lovers will begin experiencing a form of pure love.

2) Mental Connection

I believe that twin flames may at times feel like they are the only two people in the universe, their connection runs so deep, and their conversations can become so intense and electrically- charged when they connect that everything else can fall away.

Genuine interest in each other and a shared passion will contribute to a deep mentally stimulating relationship where their vibes align and lift each other up.

Alternatively, they may appear to be opposites.

In this case, twin flames may have complementary skill sets and talents that combine perfectly to give them the strength, courage, and confidence to achieve balance and use their enhanced abilities to complete their goals and reach for their dreams.

3) Physical Connection

I believe that upon their first meeting, twin flames, or twin souls, may realize they are radiating energy on the same frequency which causes not only a powerful physical attraction but a feeling of oneness.

It is my understanding that kundalini energy, stored at the base of the spine, may be released when a connection is made, this awakening energy may cause twin flames to see themselves in a new light and begin to become more aware of their faults and flaws.

This deep awareness and questioning soul journey may result in these partners separating while they complete their healing soul work.

Once they have broken their cycles of dysfunctional behavior, they can reunite in a permanent sacred union.

Physical attraction alone is not enough to result in or define a twin flame connection, there must be an exchange of energy and blissful awareness of presence. A twin flame relationship is all about respect.

I believe that while the physical connection isn’t based purely on sexual attraction, if sexual contact occurs, the primal nature of the connection will be instinctual as the two souls communicate with their bodies.

(What if you knew the secret to what goes on inside a man’s mind, and what secretly turns him on? Check out my review of my friend Amy’s fantastic new book here)

4) Spiritual Connection

I believe that the innate ability to sense another’s emotions or moods, even from miles apart is a sign that twin flames have connected.

This is a sacred occurrence and often results in unconditional love.

This rare emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual connection can only occur once each partner has excised and healed their personal demons with tenderness and compassion then given themselves wholly to their union.

This process is not without pain; often the act of separation to heal and become whole as an individual can feel excruciating and frustrating, but this is an essential step towards a healed union.

In order to experience a harmonies union, there can be no co-dependence, unrealistic expectations, or ego-driven obstacles.

Once this harmony has occurred, twin flames will begin vibrating on the same frequency and experience a union of unconditional love.

If you want to know whether you’re involved in a twin flame relationship, check out these 25 signs that you might be in one:

26 beautiful signs of a twin flame relationship

Here are what I believe are 26 signs of a twin flame relationship:

1) He feels like a hero around you

In a twin flame relationship, the man will step up to the plate for his woman without hesitation. He’ll provide for her and protect her against any threats, both small and big.

You could argue that in a twin flame relationship a woman will do the same for her guy.

But there’s actually a new psychological theory that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. And it claims that men in particular have a biological drive to step up for the woman in his life and be her hero.

It’s called the hero instinct.

A man wants to see himself as a hero. As someone his partner genuinely wants and needs to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.

And the kicker?

It’s actually up to the woman to bring this instinct to the fore.

I know it sounds a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.

And I couldn’t agree more.

But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to feel like a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.

The simple truth is that a relationship is unlikely to survive unless this instinct is triggered in a man.

How do you do it?

You have to find ways to make him feel like your hero. There’s an art to doing this which can be a lot of fun when you know exactly what to do. But it requires a little more work than just asking him to fix your computer or carry your heavy bags.

The best way to learn how to trigger the hero instinct in your guy is to watch this free online video. James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first coined this term, gives a terrific introduction to his concept.

Some ideas really are life-changing. And for romantic relationships, I think this is one of them. Because when a man genuinely feels like a hero, he’ll be more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long term relationship.

Only then will you be in no doubt that you are actually in a twin flame relationship.

Here’s a link to the video again if you want to learn more about the hero instinct and how you can trigger it in your man.

2) You are drawn to one another

Regardless of where you are on the planet, you feel the pull of one another bringing you back home. You know that you are together, even if you are apart.

3) You think differently when you are with them

Your relationship challenges the status quo, and you are aware of the possibility because of it. You look for new ways to do things, approach life, and love one another.

4) Twin flame lovers come and go to each other’s lives

Your differences bring you together but also pull you apart. You might be in and out of one another’s lives, but deep down you know that are you meant to be with this person.

5) You feel like everything is right with the world when you are together

Regardless of what is going on, twin flame soulmates know the relationship is worth the investment and energy to foster and nurture. Together, you are better than when you are apart.

6) You are balanced

The ultimate in Yin and Yang – you couldn’t be more different, yet complimentary of one another. You find happiness in the light and the dark.

7) You change your life because of them

Without realizing it, you become a different person. The energy you create when you’re together changes you both.

8) You experience extremes of rationality.

Because your relationship is built on extremes, you can expect moments of ups and downs. But more than most couples.

Your love is fierce, and it can drastically alter your mood, emotions, and capacity for rationality.

Love is blind, crazy, and hard – you’ll experience all of these things in a twin flame relationship.

9) You connect with each other immediately

Even if you’ve just met, you feel like you’ve known each other for years. All of your stories are similar, and you’ve probably even been at the same place together before, and not even realized it. It really feels like fate is on your side.

10) You feel like something keeps bringing you together

No matter how angry you get, or how broken the relationship might feel at times, something brings you back together.

The Divine Universe has a plan – or at least, it sure feels that way.

Related post (article continues below)

11) Twin flame connections are more than just friends, lovers, and companions

You’re connected on a deeper level, and when people comment about how the two of you are soul mates, you know it even goes beyond that.

People don’t understand your relationship the way you do. In other words, you’re best friends.

12) You find yourself near them.

Without realizing it, you’ll make your way to a coffee shop where your twin flame will be sitting.

You’ll arrive at the same party, find out you have friends in common, and you even went to the same college. They are always nearby.

13) You feel connected to them

You know they get you, and you get them. That’s important in any relationship, but so often people feel misunderstood. Twin flame connections provide that understanding.

14) You are passionate about them and their desires.

You often talk about your desires but are truly tuned into what they want in life as well. You know that two heads are better than one and together, you can achieve anything.

15) You have rocky times in your relationship

No matter how bad it gets, you are there for one another. You’ll consider the relationship instead of the individuals in the relationship.

When you are together, everything is good – even the bad.

16) You experience spiritual happiness

You feel whole when you are with your twin flame lover.

17) It feels like they are already your family

Even if you just met, you know your family is going to get them and see what you see. You know they’ll fit in with your quirky crew of family members and your twin flame won’t judge you for it.

18) You share everything

The good, the bad, and the ugly: all things considered, you’d rather fight with them than be happy with someone else.

19) You don’t care about the commonalities – the differences drive you to one another

It’s what should draw you apart than brings you together. You love the bridging the gap in your relationship and know it’s a worthwhile effort when you have found the person who mirrors your flame for life.

20) You love traveling together and exploring new places

You relish traveling together. New experiences get your juices flowing and doing it together makes it that much better.

New experiences help twin flame soulmates expand their mind and learn more about each other which deepens your incredible bond.

21) Their friends are your friends, and your friends are their friends

Both of you love people that are honest, genuine and positive, and haven’t got time for people that are toxic. That’s why you get along with the same sort of people.

You also make time for your lover’s friends because you know how important they are to them.

22) You understand each other’s issues, and you’re willing to support each other at every turn

We all experience challenges and suffering in life. That’s why you support each other whenever you’re experiencing something challenging. You’re a team, and you’ll get through it together.

23) You could lay in bed all day cuddling together.

When you’re cuddling together, it just feels so warm and fuzzy that you could stay there all day. It’s the type of feeling you just don’t want to go away.

24) You also understand when one of you needs alone time

You understand each other so well that if one of you needs alone time, there’s no issue in giving it to them.

After all, we’re all human and we all need time to reflect and rejoice in the beauty of life.

25) You finish each other’s sentences

You spend so much time together and understand each other’s personalities so well that you know exactly what they’re going to say in social situations.

People might think you’re a little weird when you finish each other’s sentences, but they simply don’t understand how deep your connection is.

26) Neither of you gets jealous

Your connection runs so deep that you both don’t feel threatened when one of you talk to the opposite sex, even if they’re hitting you.

It’s all cool because nothing is going to break the incredible bond you share.

If you want to learn more about twin-flames, we’ve gone over the true inner workings of how this beautiful relationship works.

Check them out:

The Inner Workings of a Twin Flame Relationship: 6 Things You Need to Understand

I believe that twin flame connections are not as rare as you might think.

They are widely misunderstood, and so we often think that they are a rarity, but for those who are in the midst of a twin flame relationship, it’s hard to ignore the dynamics and special relationships that these people have.

If you’ve ever wondered if you have found your twin flame soulmate, chances are you haven’t.

I also believe that you’d recognize the inner workings of this kind of relationship because it’s uniquely special.

You don’t just feel different from your twin flame; you are different.

Let’s dive into what I think are the inner workings of a twin flame relationship so you can better understand how they work and what the benefits of them really are.

1) You realize that everyone was wrong.

The first thing you’ll notice about being in a twin flame relationship is that everything you were ever taught or thought you knew about love is wrong.

It really can consume you and take over your life in a good way. But keep in mind that this doesn’t mean obsessiveness and feeling dependent on them for self-worth. That’s toxic and is the opposite of a twin flame relationship.

In fact, it’s just love and wishing the best for your partner, without depending on them.

2) You know why your twin flame was put on earth.

We often wonder why certain people come into our lives, but it’s not hard to tell that reason when you run into your twin flame and find yourself in some kind of relationship with them.

Keep in mind that twin flames don’t always mean romantic love, but if romantic love is involved, it’s a deeper, more profound kind of love and you’ll know why this person has come into your life.

You won’t doubt their presence, and even if things seem to be going off the rails, you can justify putting the work in to save the relationship because of how important and impactful it is for you.

3) You know the meaning of true love.

True love doesn’t always mean romantic love – another misnomer about twin flame relationships that is often misquoted.

We can be genuinely drawn to another person without being physically attracted to them.

We get things from them that others cannot offer us and they make our lives worthwhile in so many ways.

When you understand the inner workings of a twin flame relationship, you’ll find yourself head over heels for someone in a way that makes you glad you are alive.

(To learn what true love really is, check out what Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh has to say about it here)

4) You can see inside yourself in a new way.

I believe that twin flame relationships do more than just help you connect with that person in a profound way, but you’ll come to know yourself in a totally new way.

For people who are afraid to get to know themselves in any authentic way, this is going to send red flags up the pole, but for people who are opened to exploring themselves in conjunction with their twin flame, the results are priceless.

5) You want to hide away from the world together.

Your twin flame is more than just your soul mate. They are the person in your life that you want to spend the most time within a non-needy and dependent way.

You don’t ever doubt how you are using your time when you are with this person, and you find ways to connect on even deeper levels.

To the outside world, this looks like an unhealthy relationship and someone might even use the word, “obsessed,” but you know the difference. You are one with this person, and it makes all the difference in your life and theirs.

6) You give in.

When you are with someone, who is your twin flame you can be your true self. There is not need to feel shame or guilt or fear.

They allow you to be who you are and they embrace everything about you while encouraging you to explore parts of yourself you never knew existed.

That’s why I think the bond of trust is too deep with your twin flame. Your own mother might not be able to provide that kind of love and comfort to you.

So if you find yourself in a twin flame relationship, don’t worry about what it means or how it looks to other people.

The beauty of these kinds of relationships is that they are immune to what the outside world thinks because they are built on trust and respect, curiosity and interest.

What now?

I hope these 26 signs have helped you understand if you’re in a twin flame relationship.

Whether you’re in one or not, the most important thing is to make sure your relationship with him is a happy and long lasting one.

And there’s one crucial ingredient to relationship success I think many women overlook:

Understanding how men think.

Getting your guy to open up and tell you what he’s really thinking can feel like an impossible task. And this can make building a loving relationship extremely difficult.

Let’s face it: Men see the world differently to you.

And this can make a deep passionate romantic relationship—something that men actually want deep down as well—difficult to achieve.

In my experience, the missing link in any relationship is never sex, communication or going on romantic dates. All these things are important, but they are rarely deal breakers when it comes to the success of a relationship.

The missing link is actually understanding what drives men romantically.

A new way to understand him

I’ve recently been introduced to a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that explains so much about what drives men: the hero instinct.

What is it?

As I touched upon earlier in this article, the hero instinct is the basic biological urge men have to provide for and protect women.

Simply put, men want to be your hero. Not necessarily an action hero like Thor, but he does want to step up to the plate for the woman in his life. And to be appreciated for his efforts.

And the most important thing for you to know is this: Most men won’t fall in love with a woman until this biological instinct is triggered.

If you want to learn more about it, check out this free video by relationship psychologist James Bauer. He provides the clearest explanation of the hero instinct you’ll find. He also gives away several free tips for triggering it in your man.

Here’s a link to the video again.

For many women, learning about the hero instinct was their “aha moment”. It was for Hack Spirit writer Pearl Nash.

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Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.
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