10 common greetings that instantly turn people off when you first meet them

First impressions are crucial, and believe it or not, your greeting can make or break it.

We all want to come off as friendly and approachable when we first meet someone, but certain phrases can have the opposite effect, making people feel uncomfortable or even put off.

I’ve put together a list of 10 common greetings that you might think are harmless, but could actually be turning people off.

By avoiding these phrases, you can ensure your first impression is a positive one.

Let’s dive in.

1) ‘You look different in person’

This is a phrase that no one likes to hear when they first meet someone.

It implies that the person had a different, often negative, expectation of you. Even if it’s meant as a compliment, it can easily be misconstrued and make the other person feel self-conscious.

Remember, when meeting someone for the first time, it’s better to keep your comments positive and neutral. Compliment them on their outfit or talk about the weather instead.

Avoiding this greeting will go a long way in making a good first impression.

2) ‘Long time no see’

This is another common greeting that often rubs people the wrong way, even if it’s not intentional.

I remember meeting an old high school friend at a party. The moment I saw him, I blurted out, “Long time no see!” I immediately saw a flicker of annoyance cross his face.

Only later did I realize that my greeting had implied that he was the one at fault for our lack of communication, when in reality, we had both been busy with our own lives.

The lesson here? Be mindful of your greetings. They might seem harmless to you, but they can easily be interpreted differently by others.

3) ‘You look tired’

This common greeting might seem innocuous, but it can actually be quite offensive.

Telling someone they look tired can imply that they appear worn out or not at their best. It’s essentially a polite way of saying they don’t look good.

In South Korea, telling someone they look tired is seen as a major social faux pas because it’s considered impolite to comment on someone’s appearance in such a negative way.

So next time, instead of pointing out someone’s fatigue, try asking about their day or how they’re doing. It’s a simple switch that makes a big difference.

4) ‘What’s up with your hair?’

Making a comment or asking a question about someone’s appearance when you first meet them is rarely a good idea.

Your intention might be to start a conversation or even compliment them, but it can easily come across as critical or judgmental, causing the other person to feel self-conscious.

Keep in mind, it’s not your place to comment on someone’s appearance unless they specifically ask for your opinion.

Instead, try starting the conversation with a neutral topic like the weather or current events. It’s a safer bet and much less likely to put the other person on the defensive.

5) ‘You’re so much shorter/taller in person!’

This might seem like an innocent observation, but it can put people off right from the start.

Pointing out someone’s height, especially when you’re meeting them for the first time, can make them feel self-conscious or singled out.

The goal when meeting someone new is to make them feel comfortable and valued. Highlighting physical attributes, especially ones that they have no control over, can easily derail this.

Instead of commenting on their height, why not compliment their style or ask about their day? It’s a small change, but it can make a big difference in how your greeting is received.

6) ‘Hey, you!’

While this might seem like a casual and friendly greeting, it can easily come across as impersonal and dismissive, especially if you’re meeting someone for the first time.

I remember a time when someone greeted me this way, and it instantly made me feel like I was not important enough for them to remember my name. It’s a small thing, but it can leave a lasting impression.

Take the time to learn and remember the names of the people you meet. It shows respect and that you value your interaction with them. Trust me, it makes a world of difference in how they perceive you.

7) ‘Wow, you’ve gained/lost weight!’

This is a greeting I’ve personally encountered, and it’s one that can make people feel extremely uncomfortable.

Once, at a family gathering, a relative I hadn’t seen in a while greeted me with, “Wow, you’ve put on weight!” While they may have thought it was a harmless observation, it made me feel self-conscious and judged.

Weight is a sensitive topic for many people and commenting on it, especially as a form of greeting, can lead to discomfort and negative feelings. It’s best to avoid such personal remarks unless the other person brings up the topic themselves.

8) ‘Nice to meet you’

Surprisingly, this standard greeting can sometimes put people off. While it might seem polite, it can come across as insincere or generic, especially if it’s said without enthusiasm or eye contact.

Also, if you’re meeting someone you’ve met before and you don’t remember them, saying “nice to meet you” can be embarrassing for both parties involved.

A better alternative might be, “It’s great to see you,” which works whether you’re meeting for the first time or not. It’s a small change, but it can create a more positive impression.

9) ‘What do you do?’

In many cultures, asking about a person’s job as soon as you meet them can be seen as prying or materialistic. It suggests that their value is directly tied to their profession, which can make them uncomfortable.

Instead of jumping straight into job talk, try asking about their interests, hobbies, or recent experiences. This shows that you’re interested in them as a person rather than just what they do for a living.

Your goal when meeting someone new is to establish a connection and make them feel comfortable around you. Steering clear of potentially sensitive topics can help you achieve this.

10) ‘How are you?’

While this might seem like the most harmless greeting of all, it can actually be a conversation killer.

Often, “How are you?” is met with a generic response like “I’m good, thanks,” and doesn’t lead to any meaningful conversation.

Instead, if you really want to engage with the person you’re meeting, try asking more open-ended questions like “What’s been the highlight of your week?” or “What brings you here today?” These types of questions show that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them and can lead to more interesting and engaging discussions.

When words speak volumes

Our choice of greetings might seem trivial, but they can reveal more about us than we realize. As social beings, we’re inherently tuned to pick up on the subtle nuances of communication.

The words we choose, the tone we use, even the topics we dive into during our first interaction with someone – they all paint a picture of who we are and how we perceive others.

So next time you’re about to say hello, remember: your greeting isn’t just a formality. It’s an opportunity to show respect, express genuine interest, and set the tone for a positive interaction.

In essence, your greeting is your chance to make a meaningful connection right from the start. Choose your words wisely. After all, as Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”