Lachlan Brown
I used to think I was a beta male. I showed all the signs, and I sure as heck wasn’t an alpha male.
It’s only recently I discovered the truth, and it’s been a real eye-opener.
I’m a zeta male.
A zeta male is someone who rejects the conventional expectations and stereotypes of being a man and instead lives their life dancing to the beat of their own drum.
And I can tell you this. It’s an incredible way to live.
13 signs you’re a zeta male (and why that’s a great thing)
1) You don’t care what society thinks of you
Zeta males are like sigma males on steroids.
If you’re a zeta, you don’t care what label society wants to put on you or what ideas of masculinity have been handed to you and presented as correct.
“The Zeta male doesn’t let society dictate how he should act; for him there are no defined rules or roles reserved specifically for men or women.”
Zeta males may be gay, straight, bi or polyamorous.
It’s not a sexual orientation, but rather a personality type.
The main point is that you are independent and outside the normal bounds of what is defined as masculine or feminine in terms of behavior and norms. You may like rom-coms and UFC, or enjoy sensitive songs about heartbreak and heavy metal. They don’t care if it doesn’t “fit” or try to translate this into a slot. They’re just zetas doing their thing.
2) You don’t really do the white knight thing
Being a white knight who rides to the rescue of a damsel in distress can be a very alpha trait that kickstarts a love story for the ages.
The zeta male isn’t that into it.
If you’re a zeta, you may find yourself skeptical about ideas like chivalry, paying for a date or other conventions. They just don’t mean much to you.
If you want to pay for a date you will. If you don’t, you won’t.
You see people more as individuals than as deserving of special privileges or treatment depending on their gender. As a zeta you may have quite an active dating life but find that longer term relationships come harder to you, partly as a result of your lack of buying into mainstream ideas of romance and relationships.
3) You let relationships happen naturally
The zeta male allows relationships to unfold naturally without putting a lot of labels or expectations on them. This can be frustrating for more traditional partners but can be liberating for those who feel stifled easily in intimate situations.
The zeta male’s independence and confidence internally often manifests in ways he’s barely even aware of that turn women on and gets them chasing him.
4) You’re high up on the social hierarchy
Many believe that alpha males are at the top, but it’s actually sigma males who rule the roost. These independent alphas are much more motivated and magnetic than alphas and less interested in praise or validation.
After them come alphas, the natural leaders, courageous warriors and business leaders.
Tied in social power with the alpha is the zeta male: a man who marches fully to the beat of his own drum and doesn’t even adhere to the typical masculinity type of the sigma or the alpha.
He may be outwardly masculine in some ways or he might not be. He may seem extroverted or introverted, or a mix of both. He may dress formally or just throw on sweatpants. The zeta male has his own schedule and his own goals, and he’s highly attractive to mates and to friends because of his magnetic and self-assured personality.
5) You’re an innovator
Another of the greatest things about being a zeta male is the ability you have to tune out all the noise and focus on your own goals.
You are likely to have a creative mind and be something of an innovator who enjoys coming up with new ideas and improving on old ways of doing things.
You don’t worry about how others see you, but are much more interested in the mission at hand.
This can make you an extremely successful business leader, although it can lead to issues in relationships when your independent streak flares up or you disagree with set ways of living life.
“Zeta males are intelligent, sensitive, and affectionate men who do not submit to what society dictates a man should be or what the role of a man is in society,” is how 40x Life by Design explains it.
6) You’re open-minded
Zeta males are interested in hearing everyone out and they don’t usually cling to ideas about how things “should” be. They’re fine with doing the dishes or looking after the kids in a marriage, and they are accepting of people of all different identities.
The zeta male is extremely authentic and true to himself. He respects others and their truths because he respects his own.
He feels no need to impose his views on others and doesn’t react well to folks trying to impose theirs on him.
If he meets a showy alpha, for example, the zeta male will be respectful of this guy’s way of being a man unless and until that guy steps over the line into being aggressive or bullying. This is where the zeta male’s tolerance will stop and he’ll tell the other dude to take a hike.
7) You understand women really well
Right up at the top of the advantages of being a zeta male is understanding women.
As a zeta male, you find talking to women even more rewarding than talking to men, and you understand female psychology.
You’re not mystified by the ways of women or stumped in the same way as many men sometimes are.
Your problem, on the contrary, is that you understand women so well that you may be tempted to play with their thoughts and emotions to get what you want.
This can erode trust in relationships and lead to various situations where you as a zeta male find that long term connections seem to elude you.
You may also find headstrong and demanding women quite exhausting and hard to deal with, especially their lack of breathing room for your individuality.
8) You won’t change to meet a mate’s expectations
Zeta males refuse to change to meet a mate’s expectations.
On the plus side this leads to increased independence and clarity of vision: the zeta male does not back down easily from a dream or goal just because somebody criticizes him.
On the downside, this can lead to obstinacy and a refusal to compromise.
However, zeta male traits of being their own person almost always err in the plus side.
Zetas tend to be creative but reasonable men.
For this reason, their mates and those in their work and private lives generally come around to respecting the zeta’s way of seeing things.
9) You know your purpose
Zeta males are usually very motivated and goal-oriented people. They are fortunate enough to often find their purpose early in life and then work hard at it from then on.
For zeta males who don’t find their purpose, life can be very confusing: You may feel your own unique potential and passions stirring inside, but you’re not sure how to translate them into the outer world or a career path.
10) Zeta males are linked to MGTOW
The zeta male concept and movement has various links to the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement.
Although it’s been hit with a lot of accusations of sexism and found its narratives worked into some of the darker corners of the web, MGTOW basically means men who don’t want to put women on a pedestal or pursue relationships as an important part of their life.
Some have described it as nihilism, others as rational stoicism.
Whatever the case, the zeta male often has MGTOW elements in that he doesn’t want to play a preset role in any woman’s life that she believes he should by convention or gender.
Nigerian dating writer Ayomide Tayo wrote well about this, that “a zeta male is used for men who have rejected the traditional expectations associated with being a man- a provider, defender, and protector.
He rejects stereotypes and doesn’t conform to traditional beliefs.”
11) You know how to look after yourself
A big part of the zeta male’s ability to follow his own path also rests on his desire to look after himself. The zeta knows how to eat well, care for his body and get enough sleep.
He works hard and plays hard, and apart from very close friends or family in a crisis, he puts himself first at all times.
12) You help other men maximize their potential
Zetas are very expressive and willing to help others.
They tend to be solitary, but that doesn’t mean they explicitly avoid social contact or are necessarily shy.
They tend to vary between being introverted and extroverted and may have many casual acquaintances and a tighter circle of close friends.
As a zeta, one of your best traits is the desire to help other men and everyone really with understanding dating, romance and life.
You are always up for giving advice, and while you don’t like to be copied or fawned over, you do appreciate when you can help somebody find their way in life.
You’re especially helpful as a male role model for those who may be struggling to understand their place in the pecking order or find the whole idea of social power confusing and invalid.
As a zeta you’re something of a codebreaker, there to help other men understand that not all of us have to fit into the predetermined types that have been created by other social scientists or theorists.
13) You have your own unique way of living life
Zeta males have their own unique way of living life as a whole.
Personally, this will tend to translate into unusual and intense relationships and encounters, as well as strong friendships and clashes.
Professionally the zeta tends to find himself in careers that prize creativity and independence where his mental insights and imagination are valued instead of shunned.
Zetas always add their own personal touch.
If you’re a zeta like me you know that every day is a new chance to dress in your own style, talk to interesting people and pursue your own singular interests.
Embracing your zeta male power
Zeta males are unique, headstrong, independent, and nonconformist. They live their own lives with no apology.
If you’re a zeta male, you’re in good company: these guys are hot, smart, and one-of-a-kind. They also turn on potential mates like nobody’s business.
Being a zeta male can sometimes make you feel like the last of your tribe, but it’s actually a great thing.
Don’t you forget that!
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