Mia Zhang
Happiness is a state of mind that everyone strives for, but sometimes, our own behaviors hold us back from achieving it.
The truth is, to find real happiness, there are certain habits you need to let go of first.
I am here to tell you about these 10 behaviors that are keeping you from being truly happy. Saying goodbye to these habits isn’t easy, but once you do, the feeling of happiness that follows is worth it.
In this article, I’ll guide you through this journey towards happiness. It’s time to make a change for the better. So, are you ready?
1) Living in the past
We all have a past, filled with memories both good and bad. However, dwelling on these past experiences, especially the negative ones, is a trap that robs us of our present happiness.
It’s like carrying a backpack full of rocks up a hill; the more you dwell on those past experiences, the heavier your load becomes.
Living in the past makes it hard for us to move forward and enjoy the present moment. It keeps us stuck, preventing us from making the most out of our current circumstances.
Remember, you can’t change what has happened, but you can change how you respond to it. And that starts by saying goodbye to living in the past.
2) Constant comparison
We’re living in this digital era where everyone’s life looks picture-perfect, especially on social media. It’s so tempting to fall into the comparison trap, measuring our own lives against others’.
I remember when I used to do that all the time, comparing myself to my friends and feeling like I was never measuring up. It was like I was watching their highlight reels while I was stuck in my own reality. And let me tell you, it didn’t do wonders for my self-esteem or happiness.
It took me a minute to realize that this whole comparison game was just dragging me down. Once I stopped fixating on others and started focusing on my own journey, things started to shift.
Because here’s the truth: comparing yourself to others steals your joy. Instead, embrace your own path, celebrate your wins—big or small—and watch how your happiness grows.
3) Neglecting self-care
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The WHO has pointed out that neglecting self-care can lead to an array of health problems, including heart disease and diabetes. Not only that, but it can also lead to feelings of burnout, stress, and unhappiness.
When you’re constantly running on empty, you can’t give your best to others or your work. Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for your overall well-being and happiness.
Whether it’s taking a few minutes each day to meditate, going for a walk in the park, or even just getting adequate sleep, make sure you’re taking care of yourself.
Saying goodbye to neglecting self-care can open doors to a happier you.
4) Holding onto grudges
Holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
Grudges weigh you down, keep you stuck in the past, and prevent you from moving forward. The energy you spend holding onto these negative feelings could be better spent on things that bring you joy and happiness.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, is liberating. It allows you to let go of the hurt and resentment that’s been holding you back. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or even condoning the actions of others. It simply means choosing your peace and happiness over your past.
As I offer a parting piece of advice, I’m reminded of the empowering lyrics from my niece’s beloved song: “Let it go, let it go, and I’ll rise like the break of dawn.”
5) Overthinking
Overthinking is a common trap that many of us fall into. We replay conversations in our heads, second guess our decisions, and worry about the future.
While it’s natural to think things through, overthinking can lead to anxiety, stress, and unhappiness. It keeps us stuck in our heads, unable to enjoy the present moment.
The reality is, most things we worry about never happen. And even if they do, worrying about them beforehand rarely makes them any easier to deal with.
6) Pursuit of perfection
Perfection is an illusion. Yet, many of us fall into the trap of endlessly chasing this unattainable ideal. We believe that if we can just get everything right, then we will finally be happy.
But the truth is, striving for perfection often leads to frustration and unhappiness. It sets us up for failure since nothing and no one can ever be perfect.
What’s more beautiful and real is embracing our imperfections. They make us human, unique, and authentic.
So if you want to unlock real happiness, it’s time to say goodbye to the pursuit of perfection. Instead, embrace your flaws and learn to love yourself just as you are. Remember, it’s our imperfections that make our lives perfectly ours.
7) Fear of failure
Failure is just a part of life, isn’t it? I used to be terrified of it, like so many others. The fear of not measuring up, of falling short—it kept me from taking risks and trying new things.
But you know what? I’ve come to see failure in a different light. It’s not the end of the road; it’s a chance to learn and grow.
Now, I embrace failure as a crucial part of my journey. It’s where I’ve learned my most valuable lessons and become a better version of myself.
Hey, don’t let fear hold you back. Even if you stumble, there’s always something to be gained.
8) Chasing after happiness
It might sound strange, but one of the behaviors you need to let go of to be happy is actually chasing after happiness itself.
Often, we believe that we’ll be happy once we achieve a certain goal, or once we’re in a certain place in life. But this mindset only leads to a never-ending chase.
Here’s the bottom line: Happiness is not a destination, but a journey. It’s found in the little things, in the present moments, and in appreciating what we have now.
9) Being overly critical of oneself
You know, being overly critical of ourselves is something so many of us struggle with, right? It’s like this constant loop of focusing on our flaws and feeling like we’re never good enough.
All that negative self-talk? Man, it can really mess with our heads and drag down our happiness. It breeds self-doubt and holds us back from reaching our potential.
But here’s the thing—we have to cut ourselves some slack. Life is already hard on us without us beating ourselves up.
Happiness is about treating ourselves with kindness, understanding that we’re only human, and embracing our strengths and weaknesses alike.
10) Ignoring your passions
You know what brings us real happiness? Following our passions. It’s those things we do—the hobbies, activities, stuff that gets us all fired up and makes time fly by.
But here’s the thing—when we shove those passions aside and pretend they don’t matter, we’re basically robbing ourselves of joy and fulfillment.
Just think about it: Life flies by, and before you know it, that spark you once had might start to fade. As you get older, you’ll realize that not much can light up your heart quite like it used to.
When you find something that sets your soul on fire, don’t let it slip away. Stop putting it off. Dive in headfirst, give it everything you’ve got, and see how it transforms your world like nothing else can.
Happiness awaits when you let go
The journey towards happiness is a deeply personal one, filled with self-discovery and growth. It’s about learning to let go of the behaviors that hold us back and embracing those that propel us forward.
A quote by Chuang-Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, says, “Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.” This wisdom encapsulates much of what we’ve discussed here. It’s about living in the present, embracing imperfection, and giving ourselves the compassion we so readily give to others.
As you dive into your quest for happiness, remember—it’s not about reaching some destination. It’s a process, a series of choices that bring you closer to joy.
And hey, letting go of those old habits? It’s tough. But you’ve got this. You deserve happiness, and it’s waiting for you. So, take that first step—you won’t regret it.
