Women who are independent on the surface but lonely underneath usually display these 8 behaviors

Being a strong, independent woman is often seen as the ultimate goal. But beneath that facade of independence, many women often grapple with a deep sense of loneliness.

It’s not always easy to spot.

These women are skilled at projecting strength and self-reliance, even as they silently yearn for meaningful connections.

I’ve noticed that these fiercely independent yet inwardly lonely women often exhibit a unique set of behaviors.

In this article, I’ll share with you 8 of these behaviors that hint at an underlying loneliness.

Keep reading if you’re wondering whether you or a woman in your life is experiencing this paradox of independence and loneliness.

1) They value their solitude

Strong, independent women often cherish their alone time.

It’s a precious space for them to recharge, reflect, and regain control over their lives.

But this love for solitude can sometimes be a double-edged sword.

While it fosters self-sufficiency and resilience, it can also mask a deep-seated loneliness.

The desire for solitude becomes concerning when it transforms into an avoidance of social interactions.

When they consistently choose to be alone, even when presented with opportunities for meaningful connections, it could be a sign that they’re grappling with feelings of loneliness.

Yet, they might not readily admit this.

They’ve mastered the art of appearing content and fulfilled, even if underneath, they’re yearning for companionship.

So next time you encounter a woman who seems to prefer her own company above others’, remember that her solitude might be hiding an underlying loneliness.

2) They’re often the givers in their relationships

From my personal experience, I’ve noticed that independent women who are inwardly lonely often play the role of the giver in their relationships.

I had a close friend, let’s call her Sarah.

She was fiercely independent and always there for everyone else.

Whether it was lending an ear to a friend’s problems or helping out with practical things, Sarah was the go-to person.

But I noticed that Sarah rarely asked for help herself. I often wondered if she ever needed someone to lean on.

When I finally gathered the courage to ask her, she burst into tears, admitting that she felt incredibly lonely despite being surrounded by people who loved her.

Sarah’s story taught me that being a constant giver can be a way for independent women to maintain control and avoid showing vulnerability.

But this can also lead to feelings of loneliness when they shoulder their burdens alone.

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to reach out and ask for help sometimes.

3) They’re usually highly accomplished

 

Independent women often reach impressive heights in their careers and personal lives.

Their independence drives them to achieve success, and they are often seen as role models.

However, research suggests that high-achieving women can be more susceptible to feelings of loneliness and depression.

Despite their success, they often feel isolated or misunderstood because they’re operating at a level that few can relate to.

So, if you see a woman who’s always reaching new milestones and setting the bar higher, she might be fighting a hidden battle with loneliness.

Remember, success doesn’t always equate to happiness or fulfilment.

Sometimes, it masks a deep longing for connection and understanding.

4) They often have a strong social network

Independent women are known for their ability to build and maintain a vibrant social network.

They’re often the life of the party, the ones who connect friends and acquaintances, and the ones who make sure everyone feels included.

However, paradoxically, this doesn’t always equate to feeling connected or understood.

In fact, they can often feel lonely amidst their own bustling social circles. It can be an odd feeling – being surrounded by people, yet feeling so alone.

This sense of loneliness often stems from not being able to express their vulnerabilities or share their burdens with others.

They carry the weight of always appearing strong and independent, even when they crave to be looked after or understood on a deeper level.

So, next time you see a woman who’s always surrounded by people and seems to have it all together, remember that she might be silently wrestling with feelings of loneliness.

5) They’re often the last to leave

Independent women, especially those feeling loneliness underneath, often tend to be the last ones to leave a gathering or event.

They throw themselves into social settings, staying busy and engaged until the very end.

This behavior can be their way of staving off the quiet moments when they’re alone with their thoughts.

The hustle and bustle of a social event can provide a distraction from the creeping feeling of loneliness that settles in once they’re home alone.

It’s a heartbreaking reality that many people don’t see.

They admire these women for their energy and commitment, unaware of the hidden struggle that drives them.

So next time you notice a woman who consistently stays till the end at every gathering, consider reaching out.

A simple conversation might make her feel less alone and remind her that it’s okay to share her feelings and vulnerabilities.

6) They’re great listeners

Independent women are often excellent listeners.

They have a knack for making others feel heard, understood, and valued.

They’re the ones you turn to when you need advice or just need to vent.

I remember a time when I was going through a tough break-up.

My friend, an independent woman by all measures, was my rock.

She was always there, ready to listen and offer comfort, even in the middle of the night.

But over time, I began to realize that while she was there for me, she rarely shared her own struggles.

She would brush off her feelings with a simple “I’m fine” and quickly steer the conversation back to me.

It took me a while to understand that her constant listening was a way of deflecting attention from her own loneliness.

She was so focused on being there for others that she forgot to take care of herself.

So, if you know a woman who’s always ready to lend an ear but rarely opens up about herself, keep in mind that she might be dealing with hidden loneliness.

It’s okay to gently encourage her to share her feelings and let her know she’s not alone.

7) They’re fiercely self-reliant

Independent women are often self-reliant to a fault.

They pride themselves on being able to handle any situation that comes their way.

From fixing a leaky faucet to navigating a tough work scenario, they’ve got it all covered.

This self-reliance is admirable, but it can also be a defense mechanism against loneliness.

By being self-sufficient, they avoid the risk of rejection or disappointment that can come with relying on others.

However, constantly shouldering everything alone can amplify feelings of isolation.

Despite appearing strong and capable, they might be harboring a longing for support and companionship.

So, if you know a woman who never seems to need help, remember that it’s not a sign of weakness to lean on others.

Offering your support or simply acknowledging her strength might comfort her more than you realize.

8) They’re usually emotionally intelligent

Independent women often possess high emotional intelligence.

They’re experts at understanding and managing their own emotions as well as those of others.

This makes them great at navigating complex social situations and helping others with their problems.

But this emotional intelligence can sometimes serve as a shield, masking their own feelings of loneliness.

They’re so adept at taking care of others that they neglect their own emotional well-being.

The most important thing to know is this: just because a woman is independent and emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean she’s immune to loneliness.

In fact, her strength and independence might be the very things that make it hard for her to seek help or express her feelings.

So, if you know a woman who fits this description, remember to check in on her from time to time. Even the strongest among us need someone to lean on occasionally.

Final thoughts: It’s a call for empathy

Independent women might excel at wearing that beautiful smile.

They often face their battles with grace and resilience, making it easy for others to overlook their struggles.

But beneath that façade of strength and self-reliance, they may be yearning for understanding, connection, and empathy.

As we navigate our relationships with these women, let’s remember to extend our compassion and understanding.

Let’s remind them that it’s okay to lean on others, to share their burdens, and to express their vulnerabilities.

After all, our collective strength lies in acknowledging and embracing our shared human experience – with all its highs, lows, and in-betweens.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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