There’s a fine line between being genuinely kind and undervaluing yourself. Often, women with low self-esteem may not even realize they’re selling themselves short, while they continue to be warm-hearted to those around them.
Being genuinely kind is a virtue, but when it’s coupled with low self-esteem, it can lead to an imbalance in relationships and self-worth. In fact, you may be surprised how certain behaviors give away this unique combination without women even noticing.
Let’s uncover these 8 behaviors that women who are genuinely kind but struggle with low self-esteem often display – without even realizing it.
1) Over-apologizing
Have you ever noticed that some women tend to apologize excessively, even when it’s not necessary? This is a common behavior among those who are genuinely kind but struggle with low self-esteem.
Apologizing is by no means a bad thing. It shows empathy and consideration for others. But when it becomes a default response, it might indicate an underlying issue of low self-esteem.
Over-apologizing can stem from a fear of confrontation or a desire to keep the peace at all costs. Women practicing this often believe that they are at fault, even when they are not. It’s their way of preemptively taking the blame to avoid potential conflict or criticism.
But it’s important to remember that saying sorry too often can diminish its meaning. While it might be coming from a place of kindness, over-apologizing can actually create an imbalance in relationships and give the impression that their feelings or opinions are less important.
2) Difficulty accepting compliments
This one hits close to home for me. I’ve always been a kind-hearted woman, but there was a time when my self-esteem wasn’t the greatest.
Whenever someone complimented me, instead of expressing gratitude, I’d deflect it or downplay my achievements. For example, if someone praised me for a job well done at work, my immediate response would be something like, “Oh, it was nothing” or “I could have done better”.
Looking back now, I realize it was a clear sign of low self-esteem. I was unable to accept compliments because, deep down, I didn’t believe them.
It was as if there was a voice inside me saying that I didn’t deserve the praise. But that’s not true at all. We all deserve recognition for our accomplishments.
If you find yourself doing the same thing, know that it’s okay to accept compliments graciously. Allow yourself to feel good about your achievements and believe in your worth. It’s not boasting; it’s self-love.
3) Constantly seeking reassurance
Some women who are genuinely kind but have low self-esteem often find themselves in a cycle of constantly seeking reassurance from others. They might frequently ask for validation or approval for their actions or decisions.
This behavior is often rooted in the fear of making mistakes or disappointing others. Interestingly, a studies show that this excessive need for external validation can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to more insecurity and a further decrease in self-esteem.
Remember, it’s perfectly fine to seek feedback and advice, but it’s equally important to trust your own judgment and abilities. You’re more capable than you give yourself credit for.
4) Neglecting personal needs
It’s not uncommon for kind-hearted women with low self-esteem to put others’ needs before their own. They often go out of their way to help others, even at the expense of their own wellbeing.
These women might constantly feel the need to be there for everyone else, often neglecting their own needs and desires in the process. This can lead to exhaustion and burnout over time.
While being generous and considerate is admirable, it’s essential to remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s okay, and necessary, to prioritize your wellbeing and take care of your own needs. You can’t pour from an empty cup, after all.
5) Struggling with self-love
The journey to love and accept oneself is often a challenging one, especially for women who are incredibly kind but have low self-esteem. They may have an immense capacity for love and empathy towards others, but when it comes to directing that same love inward, they struggle.
They might constantly criticize themselves or focus on their perceived flaws. They may believe they’re not good enough, or worth enough, which can be heartbreaking to see, especially knowing the kindness and love they so freely give to others.
If this resonates with you, please remember – you are deserving of the same love and kindness you give out. You are enough just as you are. Self-love isn’t a destination, but a journey. And each step you take towards loving yourself more is a step well taken.
6) Avoiding the spotlight
I’ve always been the type to cheer for others from the sidelines, happy to let them bask in the glory while I stayed comfortably in the background. The thought of being the center of attention was terrifying, not because I didn’t want to be recognized, but because I feared the scrutiny that could come with it.
Whether it was a work presentation or even just a casual party, I’d always prefer to blend into the crowd. This behavior often stems from low self-esteem, a fear of judgment or criticism, and a deep-seated belief that we’re not worthy of attention or praise.
But what I’ve learned is that it’s okay to step into the spotlight sometimes. It’s okay to let yourself shine and be recognized for your achievements. Everyone deserves their moment in the sun. And that includes you and me.
7) Taking criticism to heart
Kind women with low self-esteem often have a hard time dealing with criticism, even if it’s constructive. They tend to take it personally, viewing it as an attack on their character rather than an opportunity for growth.
This sensitivity to criticism can be emotionally draining and can further undermine their self-esteem. It can lead to avoidance of situations where they might be critiqued, which limits opportunities for personal and professional growth.
Remember, criticism is not a reflection of your worth but an opportunity for improvement. Don’t let it define you but use it to empower yourself.
8) Concealing true feelings
One of the most prevalent behaviors among genuinely kind women with low self-esteem is concealing their true feelings. They often suppress their emotions, out of fear that expressing them might upset others or lead to conflict.
They might put on a brave face, even when they’re hurt or upset, believing that their feelings are secondary to those of others. This can lead to emotional burnout and feelings of isolation.
But your feelings are valid and important. Expressing them doesn’t make you weak or selfish. It makes you human. It’s okay to let others know when you’re hurting, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Remember, your worth is not tied to how much you can endure in silence.