Women who are deeply committed in a relationship but struggle with insecurity usually display these unconscious habits

Being in love heightens every emotion we experience.  

This feels amazing when the feelings are positive but can be hellish when they’re negative.    

But like it or not, we have to take the good with the bad.  

Because the reality is that romantic relationships expose every vulnerability we have, and they test us like nothing else. 

In this article, we will consider how insecure women behave when they are deeply in love with their partner (or should we say, when they are being tested!) 

What kind of habits expose their deep-seated uncertainty? And what is their behavior really communicating?  

Let’s get into it.  

Women who are deeply committed in a relationship but struggle with insecurity usually display these unconscious habits. 

1) She overanalyses everything

An insecure woman in a committed relationship will be constantly on the lookout for signs that her partner’s interest may be lessening.  

So, she will overanalyse and scrutinize her partner’s actions, habit changes, word choice, looking for signs that they are losing interest.  

She will believe nothing happens in isolation and will catastrophise about things that would be insignificant to a more confident woman.  

Reading into everything in this way is the habit that exposes her fear being rejected and abandoned.

But paradoxically, far from protecting her, this overthinking and worrying has the potential to poison the relationship she values so much.  

2) She requires endless reassurance

So, as we’ve established, a woman who is insecure will be looking for signs that validate her fear that her partner doesn’t care.   

And this will lead her to develop an insatiable need for reassurance.  

She may go through phases of needing a lot of validation, compliments, and verbal confirmations of love and commitment from her partner. 

She will nitpick her partner’s actions, expect him/her to check in constantly, and get upset when he wants to spend time apart from her.  

Needing this reassurance and nagging her partner will fast become emotionally draining for both.   

3) She brings up the same arguments over and over

And just as her insecurity will increase and decrease, coming and going like the tide, so will the arguments. 

And they will likely be about the same issues she’ll bring up over and over.  

And even if her partner believes that certain issues have already been resolved, she will keep bringing them up. 


Because she doesn’t feel that anything has been resolved. The real problem is her insecurity, not whatever she’s arguing about.  

She may also start arguments with her partner as a bizarre way of getting validation. 

Because people don’t argue with those they don’t care about.  

So, in a messed-up way, the argument itself will validate her and give her a passing sense of security in the relationship.  

4) She automatically screens other women

This habit may not be obvious to others but will nonetheless be done unconsciously be an insecure woman.  

Her lack of confidence in herself, and therefore her relationship, means that she will distrust her ability to hold her partner’s attraction.  

This will make her possessive of her partner and automatically jealous of their interactions with other women.

She will screen any women she meets through her partner to make sure they are not potential threats to her.  

And although her trust issues are rooted in her secret fear of her partner leaving her, the tension and conflict this behavior creates in the relationship is what will do the most damage. 

Her partner will begin to feel like she doesn’t trust them and lose faith in the relationship.  

5) She keeps tabs on her partner

An insecure woman will always want to know where her partner is and who they are with.  

She may contact them multiple times during the day, demand to know what they’re up to, and even try to track their movements.  

She will also get upset if they’re late or their routine changes. 

And although this is another habit that springs from her need for reassurance, the clinginess often becomes unbearable for her partner and can lead to the relationship breaking down.  

6) She becomes over-reliant on the relationship

Depending solely on their relationship for their well-being and validation is another unconscious habit of insecure women in committed relationships.  

Even when she was independent before the relationship, or in its early days, she will eventually come to rely on it and her partner for her self-worth and fulfilment.  

She will develop an unhealthy reliance on her partner, losing her own autonomy and independence, and consider herself incomplete without them. 

A dangerous habit that often spells doom for couples.  

7) She makes outrageous demands 

Being demanding is a way insecure woman try to gain a sense of security within their relationships.  

By attempting to control what her partner does, she is trying to assert her dominance and manage her fear of being abandoned.  

So, this will see her make big (often ridiculous) demands to test her partner’s commitment and to see how much they care for her.  

But, instead of protecting her from disappointment, this habit is more likely to ensure she ends up driving her partner away.  

8) She makes threats and give ultimatums

And when she feels like she’s no control, the insecure woman will resort to making threats and giving ultimatums. 

This is because her lack of self-esteem makes her feel powerless within the relationship, and this feeling can only be counteracted by her partner’s compliance to her wishes.  

And if this doesn’t work, she may try to guilt trip her partner into doing things her way.  

This coercive behavior indicates the extent of her insecurity, and sadly, often means the end of her relationship.  

9) She’s hot and cold

An insecure woman struggles to find peace within herself, and this will show in her emotions. 

She will likely experience mood swings, alternating from being all over her partner to backing off and even giving them the cold shoulder.  

She will also be easily triggered and reactive, struggling to control her emotions under stress.  

This emotional volatility is the result of many negative feelings including fear, sorrow, anxiety, and desperation.  

10) She is suspicious of her partner’s friends 

As we’ve said, an insecure woman will perceive other women as potential threats to her relationship, but it’s not just other women she’ll worry about. 

She will also perceive her partner’s friends as threats too.  This will lead her to be extremely judgemental of the company her partner keeps. 

She will likely focus on any flaws they have, deeming them unfit company and bad influences.

But her suspicion has nothing to do to her partner’s circle, it is her feelings of inadequacy and fear of abandonment that are the real culprits. 

Final thoughts 

We all feel insecure in ourselves and our romantic relationships from time to time. 

It’s only natural.  

However, chronic insecurity is the kiss of death for love.   

Remember the saying, “Energy flows where attention goes.” The law of concentration states that whatever you focus on becomes stronger.  

So, when an insecure woman find herself in a committed relationship, it can often be a recipe for disaster. 

Her negativity and lack of confidence will lead her to distrust her partner and act out in ways that are terribly damaging to the relationship.  

And regardless of how supportive and patient her partner is, her bad habits won’t stop until she addresses the underlining cause and works on her self-esteem and self-worth.   

This is something she must do if she’s in love and wants her relationship to last.

Niamh McNamara

A freelance writer fascinated with human nature and social dynamics, Niamh read literature, history, and philosophy at university before spending time in journalism and PR. Armed with a passion for words and ideas, and a healthy appreciation of the ridiculous, she tries to make sense of it all. Connect with Niamh on X @NBMcnamara123

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