Women who act tough but deep down just want to be loved often display these 6 subtle behaviors

In my journey of understanding people, I’ve come across many who put on a fearless facade. Women, in particular, can often come across as tough, independent, and unapproachable.

On the surface, they seem to have it all together. They’re strong, confident, and not afraid to take on the world. But beneath that tough exterior often lies a softer side. A side that yearns for love and connection.

I’ve noticed seven subtle behaviors that these seemingly tough women often display. Behaviors that hint at their deeper desire to be loved and cared for.

1) Masking vulnerability with independence

There’s a prevailing belief that strength and independence are synonymous with emotional detachment. But in reality, behind the shield of self-reliance, many women are crying out for love and connection.

These women often project an image of being wholly self-sufficient. They take on challenges single-handedly and rarely ask for help. It’s as if they’re trying to prove that they can handle everything life throws at them, all by themselves.

However, this show of independence often hides a deeper truth. It’s not that they don’t want help or connection—it’s that they’re afraid to be seen as weak or needy. They fear their vulnerability could make them less deserving of love.

But strength isn’t about never needing anyone else. True strength lies in recognizing our own need for love and connection, and having the courage to seek it out, despite our fears.

2) Holding back their emotions

Many tough women seem to have mastered the art of concealing their feelings. They present a calm, composed facade, no matter what storm might be brewing inside them.

From my experience, this is often a defense mechanism. They fear that showing their emotions might make them appear weak or unstable. It’s as if they believe that to be loved, they have to be “perfect”—unflappable, unemotional, unruffled.

But in reality, it’s our imperfections—our vulnerabilities, our emotions—that make us human and lovable. Emotions are not signs of weakness. They are indicators of our humanity, our ability to feel deeply and care profoundly.

When engaging with such women, it’s important to create a space where they feel safe expressing their emotions. A space where they realize that their feelings don’t make them weak, but rather add depth to their strength.

As Brené Brown, a renowned research professor and author who has spent her career studying vulnerability, courage, and empathy, put it: “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

3) Struggling with self-love and acceptance

In my experience, women who put up a tough front often grapple with self-love and acceptance. They set high standards for themselves, continually pushing to be better, stronger, more independent. But in this pursuit of perfection, they can lose touch with their authentic selves.

They might find it difficult to accept that they’re worthy of love just as they are, without any need for pretense or façade. This struggle can lead to a disconnect, making it challenging for them to form genuine, intimate relationships.

I’ve found that one effective way to navigate this challenge is through the teachings of Rudá Iandê’s masterclass on “The Art of Love and Intimacy”. This enlightening course redefines the meaning of relationships by debunking the myth of the perfect partner and ideal relationship.

One of the core lessons from the masterclass is the realization that our external relationships are a reflection of our internal relationship with ourselves. This understanding places you back in control, empowering you to transform your approach to relationships by first nurturing your relationship with yourself.

The masterclass also encourages you to break free from societal conditioning around love and intimacy, fostering emotional independence and self-empowerment. It’s an invaluable resource for anyone seeking deeper, more meaningful connections.

So if you find yourself struggling with self-love and acceptance or if you’re seeking more fulfilling relationships, I highly recommend checking out this free masterclass. It’s a powerful tool that can guide you towards a more authentic and fulfilling love life.

4) Overcompensating with dominance

Some women who put up a tough act tend to overcompensate by asserting their dominance. They might come across as bossy or controlling, insisting on having their way in situations where they feel vulnerable. This behavior often springs from a fear of being perceived as weak or submissive.

However, this dominance can create a barrier that prevents them from forming meaningful connections. Relationships thrive on balance and mutual respect, not just one person calling the shots.

In truth, asserting dominance is not a sign of strength. It’s often a defense mechanism to hide feelings of insecurity or vulnerability. Real strength lies in being open, receptive, and willing to be on an equal footing with others.

If you notice this tendency in yourself, take a moment to reflect. Why do you feel the need to assert dominance? Could it be a sign that you’re seeking love and acceptance but are afraid to show your vulnerability?

5) Avoiding genuine connections

Although it may seem paradoxical, some tough women deliberately avoid forming deep, meaningful connections. They might keep people at arm’s length, preferring casual friendships or superficial relationships over deeper, more intimate connections.

This behavior often stems from a fear of getting hurt. They believe that by keeping their relationships superficial, they can protect themselves from the pain of rejection or loss.

But in doing so, they deny themselves the joy and fulfillment that comes from genuine connections. They miss out on the richness of shared experiences, mutual support, and the emotional growth that intimate relationships can foster.

In my view, embracing vulnerability and opening ourselves up to others is not a weakness, but an act of courage. It’s a testament to our strength and resilience. Genuine connections are not just about sharing joys and successes, but also about leaning on each other during challenging times.

Avoiding genuine connections is not a safety measure—it’s a barrier to love and fulfillment. It takes bravery to let down your guard and allow others to see your true self. And remember: it’s in our authenticity that we attract the kind of love we truly desire.

6) Disguising their need for love

For some tough women, their deepest need for love is often cleverly disguised as independence or indifference. They may insist that they don’t need anyone else, that they’re perfectly fine on their own.

In truth, this attitude often masks a deep-seated longing for love, acceptance, and connection. It’s as if they believe admitting their need for these fundamental human experiences would make them seem less tough or independent.

However, acknowledging our needs doesn’t make us weak—it makes us human. We all have a basic need for love and connection. Denying it doesn’t make it disappear; it only suppresses it, causing more harm in the long run.

Embracing our need for love and expressing it openly isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a testament to our courage and authenticity. It’s in recognizing and honoring this need that we open ourselves up to the possibility of truly being loved.

Embracing vulnerability

These insights challenge us to rethink our definitions of strength and independence.

They invite us to recognize the courage in vulnerability and the strength in admitting our need for love. They remind us that it’s okay to let our guard down, to be vulnerable, and most importantly, to acknowledge our inherent worthiness of love.

For those who resonate with these insights and are ready to delve deeper into their journey of self-love and connection, I strongly recommend Rudá Iandê’s free masterclass on “The Art of Love and Intimacy”. This transformative course challenges societal conditioning around love and intimacy, encouraging you to embrace your vulnerabilities and foster deeper connections.

By participating in this masterclass, you’ll gain essential tools and insights that will empower you to transform your relationships and personal growth. You’ll learn how your relationships reflect your inner world, enabling you to take proactive steps to improve both your internal self-relationship and external connections.

If you find yourself relating to these subtle behaviors or if you’re seeking more fulfilling relationships, I highly recommend checking out Rudá Iandê’s free masterclass. It’s a potent resource that can guide you towards a more authentic, fulfilling love life, and ultimately, a deeper understanding of yourself.