Pearl Nash
Being blocked can feel brutal AF.
Especially when it’s done by someone you really care about.
What is the psychology behind blocking someone?
The truth is that the reasons people resort to blocking are varied.
It can be anything from simply needing a bit of time out to signaling a permanent goodbye.
Of course, when you are the one who has been blocked you really want to know which it is.
Will he ever come back after blocking me?
Here’s how you can tell:
1) He’s done this sort of thing before (if not with you, then with others)
As they say, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
Has this guy got form?
Aka has he ever blocked, and subsequently unblocked you before?
If so, then try to relax. It’s safe to assume that he is going to do the same again.
Do you know whether he has blocked previous exes or other problematic relationships in his life?
If so, what was the outcome of that? Did he totally lose touch with them or did he ever backtrack?
Even if he has never blocked you, maybe he certainly has let his emotions get the better of him only to regret it later.
Has he been hot-headed in the past?
It might not be an exact science, but you can get clues from how he has behaved in the past.
2) Breakups and make-ups are common for you two
Even if you haven’t ever broken up before or this is your very first fight, of course, that doesn’t mean he won’t come back.
It’s just uncharted territory.
But if you already have a history of fights followed by make-ups or an on-again-off-again type relationship —then you already know that this is a pattern.
Of course, whether it’s a healthy pattern is another thing altogether.
Because this kind of yo-yo situation can really take its emotional toll.
But for sure, it’s safe to assume this occasion is also likely to be another example of history repeating itself.
3) He was being impulsive
Some people are simply more the blocking type than others.
If you don’t resort to blocking it can be really confusing and difficult to understand.
Personally, I’ve never blocked anyone, I don’t really see the point. But I have a friend who constantly blocks people.
And I mean, all the time.
People don’t even need to have done anything particularly wrong. Their only offense may have been to irritate her a bit that day.
She does it with current guys she is dating, exes, and even friends.
But here’s the thing:
She always ends up unblocking them again eventually. Because she is doing it in the heat of the moment.
She doesn’t really mean it.
Plus, it’s actually about her, and not them.
It can feel so personal when someone blocks us. I know that it really hurts.
But I promise you it’s more likely a reflection of him and not you.
It can simply be an impulsive way of handling (or, let’s face it, not handling) conflict. If that’s the case, when he cools off he’ll reach out again.
4) He doesn’t know how to handle conflict
Everybody gets mad.
We’ve all got a different “breaking point” and some people’s are way lower than others.
We also all have different styles when it comes to handling uncomfortable situations and conflicts.
Often it’s the people who quite frankly suck at communicating their feelings that resort to avoidant or passive-aggressive behaviors like blocking instead.
If he feels very uncomfortable, in the heat of the moment, blocking can feel like a quick and easy get-out-of-jail-free card.
If you suspect that could be the case for him, there’s still a good chance he’ll see the error of his ways.
Once enough space has been created for him to come to his senses again, he may well realize it wasn’t the best (or most mature) of strategies.
Part of this depends on his main motivator for pressing the block button in the first place…
5) He blocked you as a punishment or to try to protect himself
One of the biggest ultimate deciding factors over whether he’ll come back is his motivation for blocking you.
Maybe you don’t know why, or maybe you can intuitively guess.
Two common reasons for blocking an ex are punishment and self-protection.
The first is that we’re pissed off and want the other person to know it. In this instance, it’s intended to sting. He wants you to feel bad.
Because think about it:
It’s not like you need to block someone in order to move on.
So if he blocked you as a punishment he either feels like you deserve it, or he is just trying to send a message about his own pain.
In this case, he is far more likely to come back, even after blocking you. Because ultimately, it’s an attention-seeking behavior.
Rather than him really meaning it, think of it more like a tantrum that a toddler has.
The second reason runs a bit deeper.
If he blocked you in order to protect himself, he might genuinely want to move on or he may just need some space to process his feelings.
For example, if you were arguing over text, then blocking you is a way for him to take a time out and retreat.
However, if it comes some time after a breakup and the quality of the relationship was destructive, unhealthy, or even downright toxic, blocking can be a way of trying to make a clean cut.
If he feels like he has told you many times that it is over, but that you aren’t hearing him or respecting his decision, blocking may feel like his last resort.
In this instance, he still could come back if he feels like things will be different next time. But you both probably need some space first.
This is why the overall context of your situation becomes vital in knowing whether you two still stand a chance.
6) Emotions have been running high on both sides
What happened that led up to him blocking you?
If the answer is an argument, disagreement, or some sort of trigger event (something he feels mad about) then it’s safe to say emotions are running high.
That’s actually a good sign.
Because our feelings can prompt us to do things that we later decide to backtrack on.
We’re more prone to overreacting.
He was likely feeling pretty emotionally depleted, and that’s bound to have impacted his head space.
But once the dust settles, he is going to be in a better frame of mind to calm down and unblock you again.
On the other hand, maybe nothing in particular happened, and things just seemed to peter out.
If so then arguably his decision was less likely to have been driven by strong emotion.
Sadly this can indicate that it was colder and less emotional decision-making behind his choice.
He may have blocked you to try to avoid the shame or guilt of having to face you after the fallout of the breakup.
Of course, that doesn’t mean he won’t still change his mind. But it does suggest it was more calculated.
7) It’s not been that long since he blocked you
Time is a great healer.
It’s a bit of a cliche, but it’s true.
Like I say, 99% of the time people block someone because they’re frustrated, fed up, looking for a reaction, or angry.
If it’s not been very long, then the odds are much better that he will eventually change his mind.
It might feel like an eternity but hours, days and weeks certainly isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things.
How long is too long?
That’s really up to you. How long are your prepared to wait?
Personally, I’d say if it’s already been over a month, whilst reconciliation is not impossible, it certainly looks less hopeful.
Of course, there isn’t a clear cut-off point. But the longer it rolls on, the less likely he is to eventually unblock you and come back.
8) He hasn’t cut off all potential methods of contact
Where exactly has he blocked you? Has he blocked you in multiple places or just one?
For example, maybe it is on your socials that he blocked you, but you still have his phone number.
Or vice versa, he blocked you from sending him messages to his phone, but he hasn’t unfollowed you yet on social media.
That’s probably because he still wants to be able to check up on what you’re doing and where you’re going!
Maybe he knows that it won’t be long before you see one another in person anyway.
For example, you will still see each other at school, at work, or you have mutual friends.
Blocking becomes more of an empty gesture when it doesn’t technically cut off all contact.
This suggests that his real motivation isn’t trying to block you from his life — because deep down he doesn’t want to.
It’s more about making a statement.
But ultimately, it’s just a bluff.
9) He’s told you he wants some space
Has your ex told you outright that he needs some space? Or perhaps he just sent some signals and alluded to it.
If your ex feels a lot of pressure right now, he might have taken this move as a way of stepping back.
If so then he needs time to get his head straight.
Breakups are really difficult. They don’t come with a manual for us all to follow. And we all handle them differently.
Whilst it can be really difficult to accept when you don’t want or need that space, it’s better to respect his wishes.
Because deciding to pursue him will likely push him further away.
Give him his reflection time. If he misses you and wants to come back, he will reach out.
10) He is still single
His current relationship status is obviously a factor in all of this.
Do you know if he has started dating other women or even has a new girlfriend?
If so, then as painful as it is, in the long run, it’s better to move on.
Him blocking you is more likely to be a signal to you that he has already moved on, and you should do the same.
It may even be that his new girlfriend doesn’t want you two to be in touch.
Even if it’s a rebound or he is playing the field — he is clearly trying to move on. Perhaps, if it doesn’t work out he might want to try again.
But the sad truth is that is a lot to pin your hopes on. And it’s totally unfair on you, because you deserve more than that.
If you don’t think there is anyone else on the scene yet, then he may still come back.
His reluctance to move on could be due to his remaining feelings for you.
11) You know there are still unresolved feelings between you
“So many tears I’ve cried
So much pain inside
But baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over
So many years we’ve tried
And kept our love alive
‘Cause baby, it ain’t over ’til it’s over”
In the wise words of Lenny Kravitz, it ain’t over till it’s over.
And whilst you might be scared that it is, perhaps there is also something inside you that tells you it isn’t.
Call it a gut feeling. But really you know that there are still strong feelings on both sides.
The reality is that when there are, relationships do manage to weather many storms.
If you know in your heart he still cares for you or loves you, then it’s more likely he’ll be back.
Ultimately if he does, only you can decide whether the relationship is truly worth saving.
12) He blocked you because he is devastated over the breakup
Like I said at the start of this article, there are plenty of reasons why a guy blocks you.
It could well be a response to his own heartache.
We know that we shouldn’t take comfort in someone feeling bad. But when it comes to our exes, it’s hard not to.
For the simple fact, it shows they care.
If he has been having a hard time since you two broke up, blocking you could be his way to try to deal with it.
And that’s a really good sign if you want him to come back.
Because the end of a relationship can bring up a real mix of emotions.
But he’s not feeling relief it’s all over, he’s not indifferent about the whole thing, and he’s far from being cool as a cucumber.
Nope, he is in pain and he feels pretty terrible.
That means he is way more likely to come back.
What should I do if he blocks me?
I’ll level with you, your options are slightly limited.
Because contact is off the table.
Trying to get in touch with someone who has blocked you is a really bad idea.
You run the risk of triggering them even more or making them feel suffocated.
All of which will have the opposite effect if you want him back.
So here is a little checklist of what to do next:
When it comes to communication with him, do nothing right now
Don’t block him in retaliation, and don’t unfollow him on social media.
It might feel good to momentarily get revenge, but if you want to reconcile you need to keep channels open for that.
Let him make the next move
This will involve accepting the situation you’re in, and allowing the ball to be in his court.
This gives him the space he may need. Trust me, if he starts to regret it, he will do something about it.
Focus on yourself
My number one best advice after any break-up (whether you want your ex back or not) is always self-care and taking time to build yourself back up.
Because nothing sparks desire again quite like seeing your ex looking, feeling, and acting their best.
Nurturing yourself and showing your independence makes you all the more attractive, I promise you that.
That way, if he doesn’t come back, you’re still in the best place for moving on. But it’s also still one of the best strategies to turn his head again.
Win-win!
