Will he ask me on a second date? 14 surprising signs to look for

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When you go out with a guy you like it’s a refreshing and romantic experience.

It’s hard to make meaningful connections these days, and finding somebody you click with is a great thing.

But what if he didn’t feel what you did?

That’s when you’re left asking yourself: will he ask me on a second date or not? Here are the signs that he will…

Will he ask me on a second date? 14 surprising signs to look for

1) He’s shy about asking you out the first time

Will he ask me on a second date?

It’s something you may be wondering about if the first date wasn’t that bad but wasn’t a home run either.

One of the best ways to tell is if he was shy about asking you out the first time.

The reason this can be a surprising signal that he’s interested in more than one date is that guys who are very smooth about asking you out may turn out to be players.

Confidence is great and all, but a guy who flawlessly asks you out could have more of a physical encounter in mind.

That’s why sometimes it’s actually a good sign if he’s a bit flustered when first asking you out.

It means he’s genuine in wanting to go out with you and likely interested in more than just sex.

2) He’ll tell you his schedule in advance

Guys aren’t always the most subtle creatures, and sometimes he’ll just blurt out his schedule with you while on your date.

This is basically the man equivalent of telling you he wants to see you again.

Is it a little over-eager in some cases? Honestly, yes.

But it can also be heartfelt and sweet.

By cluing you in to what he has coming up, he’s setting the stage for more to happen in the future and basically giving you a preview of his commitments.

As dating coach Ronnie Ryan writes:

“The right man for you will want to get to know you. He’ll be excited to spend time with you and will do what it takes to make that time.

“You’d never even wonder how long to wait for a second date as he will be the one to make the move. He’ll stay in touch every couple of days.

“He’ll text and call. He’ll ask in advance, even if he’s going out of town, so he knows he can see you when he gets back.

“His consistency is a true signal of his intent.”

3) He was nervous and awkward on the first date

In addition to paying attention to his behavior when he asked you out, look at how he behaved on the first date.

Was he Mr. Cool, slipping his arm around you and going for a kiss at just the right time?

Or was he a bit more of a Mr. Bumble and tripped over his own shoelaces while trying to open the door for you on the way in the restaurant for dinner?

There’s nothing wrong if he was pretty confident, that can be attractive after all.

But one of the top signs that he’s more of a romantic is that he’s not completely put together.

He has some loose ends and is taking things as they come and still finding his feet.

On the other hand, if the first date was basically one-sided, don’t wait around for a second.

As Ni’Kesia Pannell puts it:

“If you’ve met your date with a welcoming sense of anxiousness and anticipation only to have them supply you with disinterest, you might want to prepare yourself for this being your one-and-only date with them.”

4) He’ll be a gentleman about money

Guys who are looking for a quick fling or some cheap entertainment often turn out to be pretty stingy.

One of my female friends ended up out with a guy who refused to pay $5 for her drink and a piece of pizza after her date.

Needless to say, she did not go home with him that night.

This despicable behavior is more common than many people realize, and I know that as a guy I was also shocked.

Even if he was only after something short-term, why wouldn’t this fairly well-off, middle-aged guy cough up $5 after a night out?

Well, in addition to being a sign of a selfish guy you want to avoid, failure to pay up usually means that he basically doesn’t value you.

If you’re looking for a sign that he’ll ask you out again, look at his behavior around money and being a gentleman.

Does he at least offer to pay for your date, or does he shirk the topic?

This can tell you a lot about whether a date two is on the horizon.

5) He’ll compliment you, but not in a sleazy way

Another one of the good signs that there will be a second date is that he actually says nice things to you which aren’t only sexual or leading to sex.

It’s perfectly fine if some of these compliments relate to you being attractive, fascinating or sexy.

It’s all about how he delivers them and the kind of response he’s hoping for.

If he’s pushy and classless about it then you have a good sign that he’s looking for a one-nighter.

But if his compliments are thought out and sincere then it’s more likely he’s hoping to get to know you better and date you again in the future.

“You may be sure that he will tell you how beautiful you are.

“But the manner will be admiring rather than the slightly horny, end-of-the-date kind of compliment which gets triggered off when you accidentally touch his hand,” explains Vasundara R.

Sharp observation.

6) The first date doesn’t end in sex or physical intimacy

If you have sex on your first date that’s your business.

I’m not here to police your personal life.

But what I will say is that having sex too quickly can be one of the biggest things that leads to having only one date.

Or having future dates which…aren’t dates…but are actually booty calls.

If the first date goes a bit slower, it’s much more likely that it will have time to blossom into something that’s less about sex and more about getting to know each other better.

Could you have wild sex and also develop a deep connection that leads to date two?

Of course.

I’m just saying that overall it’s less likely that you’ll have a second date worth talking about if you jump into bed on the first.

7) He forgets about his phone on his first date with you

My dad once joked that in the future our phones would be hardwired into us or part of our biology.

I’m sure that day is not too far away or is already here with some biohacking tech, but the ironic thing is that it’s not necessary anyway.

Almost everyone I know under 60 doesn’t go anywhere without their phone.

It doesn’t need to be surgically implanted, they already are addicted anyway.

That’s why him putting his phone down and not glancing at it on the first date is really key.

“Putting your phone on silent during a date is a big deal. That means you are dedicating your full attention to this one person, with no interest to interrupt or take away from your time together.

“If a guy is out with you and isn’t itching to check the score of a sports game (or message back another girl), then feel lucky.

“Odds are, he’s into you and wants to see you again,” writes Sean Abrams.

8) The two of you can’t shut up on the first date

Another big sign that there will be a date two is when the two of you can’t shut up on the first date.

The conversation flows like a wild river on and on, and you find time flying by.

It doesn’t really matter what the topic is.

What matters is whether you truly have a desire to speak and find it interesting being around him.

Whatever the reason you want to talk, the important thing is that you do.

As Jillian Kramer observes:

“A flowing conversation sans awkward silences, one that focused on common interests and lively debate, is also a great indicator you’re cruising toward date No. 2.”

9) His eye contact with you is off the charts

Eyes are the window to the soul, and sometimes they’re a crystal ball to a second date.

If he’s locking eyes with you on a consistent basis, then chances are he’s feeling the connection you have.

This is his way of peering into your soul and sussing out the emotional connection as well.

He wants to get to know you better and feels attracted physically and in terms of personality to you.

Eye contact is one of those things which is really underestimated.

It can be the start of a love that lasts a lifetime, or it can be unsatisfying, weird, and wrong.

Look at the story his eyes are telling. It can tell you a lot.

10) He’s looking for something more serious

One of the biggest signs that you’ll be asked out on a second date is when he’s looking for something more serious.

Even if the sparks didn’t fly sky high on date one, his intentions have a lot to do with whether he’ll ask you out.

If he’s looking for something a bit more serious then he’s much more likely to ask you out on a second date in the near future and see if you have something between the two of you.

Carina Hsieh and Emily Johnson have a good article about this:

“According to data from Match.com’s 2015 survey of more than 5,500 people, single men and women who are actively looking for commitment are 74 percent more likely to give a date a second chance.

“Plus, a full half of men and women believe that someone from a just-okay first date can grow on them, and if you think about it, they’re right.”

11) He wants to know your story – even the bad parts

Another sign that there will be a second date is if this guy is very curious on the first date.

Does he want to know every part of your story including the bad bits?

That’s a sign that he’s not just looking to get under your skirt, he also wants to get into your heart.

Like Marissa writes:

“Guys don’t dedicate themselves to getting to know these details for just anyone.

“When a guy isn’t committed to the date, he’s not going to waste so much time getting to know you better and he definitely won’t seem truly interested in what you have to say.

“You should be able to tell if he is exhibiting interest in your history.”

12) He tries to check if you’re interested in anyone else

Another sign that he’s going to want a second date is that he tries to take a peek into your own dating life.

If you’re a private person or find this needy it can be uncomfortable.

But you can be sure that he wouldn’t really care if you were seeing someone else if he wasn’t potentially interested.

It’s not what a guy asks who’s just cruising for some kicks.

It’s what a guy asks who feels a potential deeper level of interest and is already thinking about asking you out on a second date.

13) He opens up about past bad dates

Sometimes guys will open up about bad past dates as a way to contrast what they’re feeling with you.

They likely wouldn’t be telling you about it if they were also hating the date with you.

They’re sharing war stories as a way of relating to you.

And it’s a good sign that they’re enjoying the date and will try to ask you out for a second one.

14) Your sides are hurting after the first date

Last – and very importantly – a big sign that there will be a date two is if date one was full of laughs.

If your sides hurt from laughing after the first date then it’s a strong indicator that he’s also had an amazing time and will want to see you again.

There’s no way to laugh too much in this day and age, so if he’s cracking up and you are too, then it could definitely be the first stage of some real romance.

As Tanya Harell says:

“Laughing with someone is a sure-fire way to tell if you are having a good time.

“Maybe it’s laughing over dad jokes or funny work stories. The content doesn’t matter.

“What matters is that you are at ease enough to let loose and laugh together.

“That’s why prompting laughter – even if his joke wasn’t the funniest this – is one of the subtle super fast ways to build attraction between the two of you.”

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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