The secret to a fulfilling relationship? A partner who brings out your best

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We’ve all heard of that one song that goes:

“You bring out the best in me, like no one else could do.” 

But it’s more than just a cheesy lyric. 

A person who brings out the best in us is something we should all look for. 

Want to know why? 

Keep reading to learn why you should date someone who makes you want to be a better person!

1) They bring out the best in you

Too often, we find ourselves in relationships with people who bring out the worst in us. 

We mistake the constant fighting too often with intense, burning passion—with sparks, even—when it’s actually more damaging than it is romantic. 

However, the people who are good for you will actually bring out the best in you.

And it’s actually okay if you don’t feel the sparks with them, especially when “the sparks” mean constant overthinking and overanalyzing where you could possibly go wrong.

Because instead of keeping count of your mistakes, the right person will gently tell you when you’re wrong and help you find your way back to the right path. 

Instead of constantly evoking your anger, they will make you feel a sense of calm and security, which you’ll find you won’t feel anywhere else. 

And because you’re not constantly in fight or flight mode, you have time to self-reflect and to think about what’s best for you, too. 

This is important, because not having all your mistakes constantly pointed out will make you feel good about yourself, too. 

2) They make you feel good about yourself

You’ll know someone’s right for you when they make you feel good about yourself.

While it is true that our partners are supposed to push us to strive to be better versions of ourselves, the right person will do this without ever making you feel inadequate.

I know I’ve had my fair share of partners who made me feel so small with their arrogance and superiority complex, and I admit it took me too long to realize they were not the right person for me, but you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did. 

Know that the right person will never hold your insecurities against you. Instead, they will help you learn how to better handle them. 

They won’t crucify you for your mistakes. Instead, they will laugh with you, shrug it off, and move on. They will even gently teach you how to do better next time. 

Simply put, if your partner makes you feel bad about yourself—if they make you feel stupid, ugly, or small—leave them. 

Trust me, they can do nothing but damage your self-esteem and confidence until you lose your sense of self. 

This is why it’s important that you find someone who helps you grow as a person.

3) They help you grow

Growth is an integral part of becoming the best version of yourself. Often, we can’t really grow as people when we’re on our own.

This is why you should surround yourself with people who help you grow—and the person you date shouldn’t do any less. 

The right person will not argue with you out of the smallest, most trivial things. Instead, they will try and meet you halfway when you have a disagreement in the most peaceful way. 

They won’t put you up on a pedestal and then get disappointed when you can’t meet their unrealistic expectations, but will instead see you as human, capable of making mistakes. 

While the right person is supportive, they will not enable your bad behavior or be mum about your self-sabotaging actions.

Because they help you become your best self, they will tell you the truth even if it’s hard, because they know that that’s what you need. 

4) They tell you the hard truths

The truth is so simple, yet so many of us avoid it. We tiptoe and dance around it, because we’re terrified of it. Then we keep it at arm’s length, lest it burns us when we get closer. 

Because so many of us are scared of the truth, people will usually coddle you and avoid telling you the truth at all costs. They will satiate you with the comfort of lies, afraid they’ll get burned when they tell you the truth.

But the right person will tell you the truth, no matter how difficult.

Why?

Because sometimes, we need to hear the truth in order to become the best versions of ourselves.

This is why the right person will always stop you from self-sabotaging, even if they risk getting hurt, too.

They will never enable your bad behavior. Instead of being a yes-man, they will point out your mistakes in the most loving way and bring you back down to earth when you float too high off of it.

5) They help you reach your fullest potential

We all have flaws and insecurities. It’s completely impossible to find a person devoid of both of these. 

Should such exist, are they even human? Because character flaws, insecurities, the ability to make mistakes—these are all the essence of being human. 

While it is important to learn how to handle our own insecurities, dating the right person will help you realize these are not hurdles to reach your fullest potential. 

Whether that’s applying for a dream job you never believed you’re qualified for or trying hobbies that are outside of your comfort zone, the right person will always give you a leg up by making you believe you are capable. 

6) They’re comfortable to be around

Having insecurities means it’s hard to find people to be comfortable around. 

And because all of us have insecurities, that means it’s hard for all of us to find people we feel comfortable enough to be with. 

We usually feel the need to put up a facade because we feel our real selves are unacceptable.

Which is why it’s just that special to find a person who makes you feel safe to be your real self. 

What’s a relationship if you constantly feel the need to keep up a facade of perfection? 

You shouldn’t feel the need to perform as a different person to your significant other. If you feel that way with them, they’re simply not the right person for you.

7) They help you achieve your goals

You know a person is right for you when they help you achieve your goals and dreams. 

It’s hard enough to achieve these dreams on your own, and it will definitely be harder for you if your partner sabotages your goals instead of helping you. 

This is why a good partner will inspire you to chase after your dreams. They make you dream bigger, even. Because they build up your confidence and make you believe you’re capable of achieving everything you’ve ever dreamed of. 

8) They make you feel confident

Confidence is important to achieve the best version of yourself. 

However, not all of us are born with it. And you, like most people, probably have to put in the work in order to develop confidence. I know I have to.

While it is important to work on our confidence on our own, it definitely helps when you have someone that makes you feel confident.

The right person will build you up and make you feel confident in all aspects of your life, whether that’s liking what you see in the mirror or feeling like you’re capable of anything and everything. 

This is because the way they believe in you makes you have faith in yourself, too. If they believe you can, you, too, will believe the same.

9) They care about your wellbeing

Relationships, in their essence, are partnerships.  

When you’re in a relationship, you make decisions not just for yourself, but for your partner as well. It’s always a two-way street: you don’t only care about your feelings, you have to take your partner’s feelings into consideration as well.

Simple and easy, right? 

Well, you will be surprised by the amount of selfish people in relationships who don’t give a crap about their partner’s feelings.

Don’t be one of those people. Better yet, don’t enter a relationship with a selfish person. 

You know who you should be with?

Someone who cares about your well-being. 

You probably already know that dating a selfish person will only end up with you hurting. 

If your partner always fails to consider your feelings, if they make decisions without considering you or the relationship, then I have some bad news for you: they’re not the right person for you. You can’t fix them, and you should probably leave for your own good. 

Selfish people will never be good for you, and will definitely not inspire you to be the best version of yourself or make your life better.

10) They make your life better

The right person will make your life better—in all aspects.

They’ll take you to places you’ve never been. They’ll inspire you to try things you never would’ve chosen to do on your own. 

With them, you’ll feel like life is so much more worth living—like there’s so much out there that you’re yet to experience, together. 

And with a life worth living, it becomes so easy—trivial, even—to be the best version of yourself.

Joyce Ann Isidro

Joyce is a writer who believes in the power of storytelling and changing lives by writing stories about love, relationships, and spirituality. A bookworm and art enthusiast, she considers herself a creative-at-heart who likes to satisfy her childish wonder through new hobbies and experiences.

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