From a young age, I’ve loved reading.
I remember being made fun of for checking out a dozen books a week from the town library.
“Look at that nerd! Oh my god, he’s so lame!”
Reading was a way for me to escape but also to learn. I entered new worlds and navigated adventures that fully absorbed me in their twists and turns.
As I’ve grown, I read less. Not due to past bullying, but mainly because I’m very busy writing.
Nonetheless, I’ve learned something crucial:
I’d much prefer to date a girl who reads than one who doesn’t, and here’s why.
1) Girls who read have better imaginations
Reading requires much more imagination than watching TV or scrolling a smartphone screen.
When you just have the words, you create the pictures and scenes in your head.
This helps to foster a more vivid and active imagination, which is one of the best parts of dating a girl who reads.
My last girlfriend was a huge fan of Lord of the Rings and had an amazing imagination in describing certain scenes and events in the series.
Just listening to her was fascinating, and when her face lit up talking about some elf thing I think she practically put a spell on me.
2) Girls who read are more interesting
Generally speaking, girls who read are more interesting.
Whether they’re into fiction, chick lit, history, or science texts, their reading gives them a wealth of topics to discuss and debate.
I had no idea about the transformation from nomadic tribes to settled agrarian communities and the roots of modern society until my ex-girlfriend told me.
We split up for reasons completely unrelated to reading and about heading different directions in life.
But her interest in reading is something I still look for in a woman.
Every time I meet a woman who’s fascinating and full of ideas I eventually find out that she’s a reader.
I’m not saying every interesting person is a reader, but many readers are interesting people!
3) Girls who read are smarter
As a sapiosexual, I’m highly attracted to intelligence.
And girls who read tend to be smarter. I don’t just believe this is because they flip those pages and learn all that new stuff.
I actually believe the curiosity to learn and discover new worlds between the covers of a book is a sign of intelligence to start with.
Wanting to know more is the first marker of a smart person, not just the knowledge itself.
And it’s this insatiable curiosity and desire to know and learn that attracts me so much in women who read.
They want to know and hear from the brightest minds out there about how things work and amazing stories.
That to me is dead sexy.
4) Girls who read have more self-knowledge
In addition to gaining knowledge of human nature and the world, girls who read gain more self-knowledge.
The more fiction and non-fiction you read, the more conscious you become of your own reaction and relation to the text.
How do certain books make you feel, react and decode meaning?
The process of reading is in some ways a process of self-discovery.
Not everyone reacts to characters or plots the same way.
Two people can read the Count of Monte Cristo and have completely varying reactions to the characters and the events of the novel.
One girl may find that Dickens resonates with her strongly because of her own upbringing and interests, while another is much more drawn to Willa Cather or David Foster Wallace.
5) Girls who read have better communication skills
Reading is all about communication. The words from the page are taken in through the eyes and interpreted and understood in a way leading to meaning and value.
This leads to much better communication skills.
And this, in turn, leads to much better relationships.
But if you’re still struggling to find the right girl or wondering about communications going on, I know how you feel.
I had those a lot in the past and that’s how I discovered the amazing resource of Relationship Hero.
This site has trained coaches who help you understand and guide you through the challenges that relationships bring.
It takes only minutes to link up with an accredited professional who can give you answers that will help your own life and resolve situations you’re having.
Click here to check out Relationship Hero.
6) Girls who read are easy to buy presents for
When a girl is a big reader she’s much easier to buy gifts for.
If she loves Harry Potter or Danielle Steele, well you’ve got your next gift picked out, don’t you?
If she’s already read all the books in her favorite series or genre, you can always branch off into other books by the author or associated products.
Maybe she’d like a throw pillow decorated with some of the characters…
Or a hat emblazoned with the Hogwarts crest…
Just a few ideas here!
7) Girls who read have bigger plans for the future
Reading opens your mind to many new worlds, cultures, faiths, and ideas that you might otherwise not encounter.
This makes girls who read more open to new ideas about the future and different things to try in their life.
8) Girls who read are hotter in bed
Girls who read tend to be hotter in bed.
There are two main reasons for this:
First of all, they have expanded vocabulary and can shock and tantalize you with their wickedly enticing palate.
Secondly, they know of many worlds and scenarios which can get the bedroom sizzling like a churrasco grill in the heat of summer.
Girls who read are alive with ideas and sexual energy.
Plus, what could be more attractive than a woman with her nose in a book and a pair of glasses who whips them off and twirls her hair before setting her mesmerizing eyes on you…
OK, maybe my librarian fantasy has gone a little bit overboard here.
But you get the idea.
Books are sexy and they will help keep your sex life on fire.
9) Girls who read are more open to opposing points of view
When you read, you come across all sorts of opinions and experiences, including many that you might find strange, objectionable, or wrong.
This can lead to a much broader worldview.
When you date a girl who reads intensely, you’re dating someone who’s grappled with ideas she disagrees with and understands subtlety.
She doesn’t paint in black and white and she has an interest in nuanced discussion.
This is hopefully the case at least…
If she’s hyper-focused on only one philosophical or religious path in books she may be more doctrinal.
But generally, you will find that women who read are more open to different points of view and can stomach disagreement without getting angry or taking it personally.
10) Girls who read are more self-sufficient
Reading tends to be a solitary activity at least if a person is reading to themselves.
Girls who read tend to be more self-sufficient.
An afternoon alone with a cup of tea and a good book is their idea of a good time.
This can be very reassuring if you are a busy man who doesn’t necessarily have the time or desire to be switched on 24/7 or at your girlfriend’s beck and call.
If you are looking for a woman who can be happy on her own, then finding a girl who reads is a safe bet.
Even when not much is going on, she’s having a great time curled up in her nook.
Who knows what wild, sexy ideas she might have running through her head (see point 8…)
11) Girls who read have a strong desire for travel
The biggest travelers I’ve met are often also the biggest readers.
What’s up with that?
If you ask me, the common theme tying travel and reading together is curiosity.
It’s a desire to explore literary worlds and the literal world.
When you date a girl who reads, you get somebody who’s very likely to have a strong desire to travel.
She’ll be interested in going to the Amalfi coast…
Maybe the jungles of Kenya…
To the Midwest and Middle East…
Every place that tickles her fancy and catches her eye in the books she’s reading becomes a destination that she’d love to travel to someday.
Lucky you, I’d say (pocketbook permitting).
12) Girls who read won’t nag you as much
When you’re reading you can’t nag someone.
If you’ve had relationships in the past that went way off course with nagging then this could be what’s happening once again.
Girls who are busy reading don’t have time to be hyper-critical of you.
They are focused on chilling out and flipping the pages, not on harassing you.
Trust me, that’s definitely a good thing.
13) Girls who read tend to be calmer
Reading makes you calmer.
Want proof? Take a look at this university study out of the University of Sussex.
“In a study conducted by the University of Sussex, individuals who had read for merely six minutes exhibited slower heart rates, less muscle tension, and reduced stress levels.”
Having a calmer girlfriend is definitely a good thing.
Relationships can get pretty stressful, and knowing you have somebody by your side who has a fairly destressing activity at the tips of their fingertips is a reassuring thing to know.
14) Girls who read make better mothers
This may be controversial, but I honestly believe that girls who read a lot make better mothers.
One of the top reasons you should date a girl who reads is that if you want a family she’s going to be a great matriarch for it.
Some of my fondest memories growing up were being read to by my mom.
I’m not saying all good moms read to their kids, but it’s definitely a fun and loving bonding activity that also stimulates the imagination of youngsters.
When you meet a girl who reads and you’re interested potentially in marriage and having kids, keep in mind that this interest of hers can translate over into that as well.
The maternal instinct isn’t always tied to reading, of course. Plenty of solitary women who don’t want any kids love to read.
But if a woman does want to be a mom and she also loves reading, keep in mind that this is going to be a great skill for the kiddos to enjoy (and maybe you as well, after all who doesn’t like a bedtime story even as an adult).
Am I reading too much into it?
You know, I don’t think I am.
A girl who reads isn’t necessarily going to be your soulmate, but she just might be.
Reading is really a transformational process.
Take a look, for example, at Treasure Island author Robert Louis Stevenson. Confined to bed by illness as a kid, he used that isolation to dream up wild stories of pirates and gold that enchanted the world.
He did a lot of reading and that led directly into a lot of his writing, where his young mind quickly blossomed into something that awed the world and continues to appeal to adults and kids today.
The girl who reads is a girl who thinks, dreams, and has ideas on a bigger and more vivid scale than your average non-reader.
I want to throw in one caveat here…
I mentioned chick lit earlier, and for good reason.
You can add in a lot of forgettable action books and similar tomes on the pile.
These are books, to be sure, but they’re sort of the book equivalent of Top 40 music.
If you’re dating a girl who only reads whatever is recommended on a chick lit list or of the most superficial books then you might find she’s actually quite boring and predictable.
Unfortunately, not all reading is born equal and some types of literature make the mind duller, not sharper.
Nonetheless, I do believe the act of reading itself makes a woman smarter and more curious.
What she reads does matter, but consider any reading a step above not reading at all!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
Take the free quiz here to be matched with the perfect coach for you.
Click the above link to get $50 off your first session – an exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers.