We’ve all enjoyed those light-hearted conversations, the fluttery vibe – and the feeling flirting brings.
But things turn out to be different when these vibes come from someone who has a girlfriend.
Yes, I know how awkward and frustrating it can be. It leaves you thinking, “if he has a girlfriend why is he flirting with me?”
It’s even more confusing if you’re crushing on the guy too!
Don’t worry – let me give you a clear idea of why he’s flirting with you and what to do if he likes you (or you like him).
He has a girlfriend but flirts with you? 10 reasons what it means
Men are used to flirting even if there is no reason. It gives them a level of unknown that creates excitement and an ego boost.
But if he is flirting continuously and he knows that you’re aware he has a girlfriend, there’s a reason for that.
From my experience, things get complicated when you have feelings for each other.
I admit it’s been hard, but I have to learn how to go about it so I won’t end up being heartbroken.
But don’t jump to conclusions right away as every situation is different – and there might be something else that both of you (and me) aren’t aware of.
If this is you, here are 10 things you need to know.
1) He wants a side chick
Unfortunately, just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he won’t try to do the dirty with someone else on the side.
Probably, he’s interested in you as a ‘side chick.’ Nothing more, nothing less.
Okay, something isn’t right here.
Even if he becomes passionate and deeply affectionate at times, you can’t just be a ‘side chick’ in his eyes, right?
So pay attention to red flags early on so your heart doesn’t get crushed.
2) He’s unhappy in his relationship
I can tell you this is one of the major reasons why men flirt with other women.
He doesn’t seem fulfilled. Probably, he’s not satisfied with some aspects of his relationship.
It could just be a temporary rough patch or maybe, he’s preying on you to stroke his ego.
But no matter what the reasons are, it’s not healthy for you and his girlfriend.
I’ve seen the same in one of my friends. He decided to explore and flirt with another woman.
But no way does this approach take him to something good.
3) He finds you attractive
Most of the time, flirting is fun when you’re doing it with someone you desire.
Even if he loves his girlfriend, there is something in you that he likes – and he finds you too hard to resist.
You may have something his girlfriend lacks.
Probably, he can’t resist a little, healthy and easy flirting with you. And chances are, he’s just testing the waters.
But don’t confuse his words and actions with the thought that he likes you.
4) You bring excitement to his life
Most of the time, when men get bored in their lives or their relationships, they seek excitement.
So if he has a girlfriend but flirts with you, it could be that he’s bored. He’s looking for something fun to look forward to.
He’s excited at the prospect that you are new to him.
But just because he chooses to flirt with you means that he sees you as “girlfriend material.”
Okay, let’s be honest here.
If you’re starting to like the guy you’re flirting with, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up love completely.
Why can’t loving someone be as easy as we thought it can be – or at least make some sense?
That’s why I recommend you do something different.
I learned from world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
The thing is, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years – but this gets in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
As Rudá shares in this mind-blowing free video, we often chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.
We get stuck in awful relationships and empty encounters. We never really find what we’re looking for and feel horrible in situations like when a guy flirts with you but is already committed.
We fall in love with feeling and the idea of love, instead of the real person.
We try to force things, but end up destroying relationships.
We seek to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.
While watching Rudá’s video, I reached a whole new perspective. I know that he understood my struggles and finally offered an actual, practical solution on what to do before I make a move.
So if you’re done with empty hookups, frustrating encounters, unsatisfying dating, and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
I promise you will not be disappointed.
5) His relationship is on the rocks
He needs an escape route as his relationship with his girlfriend is on a rocky road.
Because things aren’t going well in his relationship, he’s using you as an escape route. He’s seeking new possibilities and sees you as the rebound girl.
Flirting with you makes him feel better.
This is a low-down, cowardly way to end a relationship.
Sadly, some men use this as an excuse to leave their current relationship. They find it easier to mess things up rather than talk things with their girlfriend.
Well, even if he seems to like you, you never want to be the reason why he leaves his girl, right?
6) He wants an easy fling with you
As bizarre as it seems, men flirt for thrill and variety. They hook up with someone other than their partners.
They can be senseless and deceptive, never content with having a relationship.
So if he has a girlfriend but keeps flirting with you, he’s just after sexual satisfaction.
He’s flirting with you but sees no value in anything else.
If you have no qualms with having an easy, no-strings-attached fling, then it’s your call.
This flirting game can be thrilling, but dangerous and harmful. You might not even be the only one he is playing games with.
7) He’s a player
He’s so smooth and good at flirting – simply because he’s used to it.
The last thing you want to know is that he’s using you for physical gratification or some sort of ego boost.
He’s charming and romantic – but he’s not interested in a serious relationship with you.
Even if he’s committed, he’s flirting with you as he got a booty call. That’s pretty obvious.
All that he’s thinking is to get you in bed.
Be very aware of this as you don’t want to be used by someone who doesn’t care about your feelings.
If you want to believe that by sleeping with him, he’ll love you and leave his girlfriend, then I’m telling you it never works.
8) He isn’t serious about commitment
Some men who have girlfriends have this serious fear of committing and taking their relationships to a different level.
They seem to constantly need to flirt to avoid any serious commitment talks.
Or maybe he’s not in a serious relationship with his girlfriend.
But one thing is for sure, he fears commitment probably because of trust issues or something else.
You’re aware that he has a girlfriend, and he doesn’t want to get into a serious relationship with you.
Okay, that’s pretty disappointing.
So if you think this kind of thing or “situationship” doesn’t appeal to you, then don’t think twice.
9) His girlfriend cheated, and he wants revenge
He’s flirting with you to get revenge on his girlfriend who cheated on him.
You aren’t sure if he’s just saying that. But even if it’s true, you don’t want to be the ‘dagger of revenge’ to put in his girlfriend’s heart.
Don’t let his cheating story convince you that it’s ok for him to cheat back. It’s tricky.
If he’s using flirting with you as an excuse to get even with his girlfriend, that’s a red flag.
He’s making his girlfriend get jealous and considers his actions justified.
And never be sorry for him as he’s only flirting with you so he’ll feel better.
This wouldn’t even lead to any type of healthy interaction between the two of you.
10) He doesn’t think he’ll get caught
Another shady reason he’s flirting with you even though he already has a girlfriend is that he enjoys being sneaky.
Even if it’s disheartening, some men get into the habit of flirting that they sort of develop the “cheating without getting caught” mindset.
He’s simply looking for some excitement outside of the relationship.
If you keep flirting with him, you’ll just be a piece in a game to him that he wants to only play with once in a while.
What to do – should you flirt back?
Flirting back, even in a light way will give an impression that you like him.
If you’re well aware that he has a girlfriend and he’s just enjoying a conversation with you, try to put it on hold.
It’s because once things move forward, it’s difficult to hit pause. Things can even get messy and toxic in the long run.
Losing yourself to the flirtatious actions and words of this guy can make you blind to see the truth.
And most of the time, this situation can lead to further mess rather than a beautiful, blooming relationship.
You should clear the air and avoid damaging his relationship with his girlfriend.
1) Communicate clearly
If he flirts continuously without boundaries, talk to him honestly.
Find out what his real intentions are.
Directly tell him, “You already have a girlfriend, but you’re flirting with me.”
2) Be clear about your intentions
If you’re flirting back with this guy even if you know he has a girlfriend, be honest about yourself.
Even if you think that it’s a casual and mutual fling, don’t cross boundaries.
Sometimes, we get caught up in this flirting game that we end up making mistakes (think: kissing or hooking up)
It’s best to distance yourself if you seem to have developed feelings for him.
3) Build healthy boundaries
Be vocal about your boundaries If you’re not interested in this guy, tell him about it.
Even just telling him, “I’m not interested” works fine.
This way you’ll be free from any unnecessary stress and worries hitting you
4) Speak your truth
This is what we should all be doing no matter what the situation is.
When a guy who is in a committed relationship comes to get flirty with you, don’t hesitate to speak your truth.
5) Never interfere with his current relationship
It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed and want the guy for yourself to think that what you have is real.
But, be respectful and let his current relationship run its course.
Never push him to leave his girlfriend, even if their relationship is on the rocks.
He should know the right thing to do if he wants to be with you.
6) Ignore him
If this guy already has a girlfriend and he keeps hitting on you, would he qualify as boyfriend material?
Even if he’s having problems in their relationship and leaves his girlfriend for you, would you feel happy about it?
Well, not only will this give you a bad reputation, but it could also bite you in the future.
It’s best to distance yourself.
7) Know when to let go
You might not be initially aware that he is committed and that you enjoyed chatting and flirting back.
If you find yourself falling too deep or if he’s trying to cross his boundaries, let him go.
You don’t want this man to cheat on his girlfriend.
8) If you like him
A bit of harmless flirting doesn’t hurt as long as you know your boundaries.
Sometimes, we can’t help but get attracted to people who are in a relationship.
But when you get to the point where you don’t care if he has a girlfriend, do you want to cross the line and take things further?
9) Know your stance
Do you want to continue flirting on not?
Think of all the options you have and see what’s right for you. Wait until he realizes genuinely wants to be with you and those feelings are real to him.
In the meantime, it’s best to stop flirting.
You don’t want to worry and feel guilty for wanting to be with someone who’s not available.
I hope you’ve already found the reasons why this guy is flirting with you – and I hope you’ll come to make the right decisions.
If your fling develops into something else and he chooses to end things up with his girlfriend, try not to rush.
Just swoop in when the dust settles.
You may want to give it a little time before starting a relationship with this guy.
Let every leftover feeling of anger or resentment settle in.
This way, you can start together without getting overshadowed by the thing of the past.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.