Why is she ignoring me even though she likes me? 12 possible reasons

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Learning from a mutual friend that the girl you like likes you back can feel exhilarating.

It can fill your heart with excitement at your potential relationship.

But that still might not mean you’ve completely won her over.

This becomes clear to you once you start noticing she’s ignoring you more than usual.

It’s confusing.

If she likes you, why is she acting so cold?

It might not be what you think.

She might have a variety of reasons, from being cautious to having other priorities in her life.

To help you understand her more, here are 12 possible reasons why she’s ignoring you, despite liking you.

1. She’s Being Cautious with You

Maybe before you, there was another person that she fell for, except things ended badly with them.

Maybe they cheated on her or they betrayed her trust. Whatever the reason, she came out of that scarred.

The wounds might even still be fresh.

That could be one of the reasons why she doesn’t seem so warm with you right now.

She’s trying to keep you at arm’s length away because she doesn’t want to get hurt again.

By keeping you at a distance, she maintains control of the situation while also figuring out her thoughts.

She might still be recovering, which is why it’s important to be respectful and gentle with her.

2. She Wants You to Make the First Move

Maybe you’ve both been making eye contact with each other across the room for some time now.

At first, it might have felt exciting; you’re so caught up in the feeling that you’re just enjoying the moment.

But as time goes on, the excitement slowly starts to fade; she stops noticing you.

This could be her way of saying, “Ask me out already!”

You can’t expect her to ask you to ask her out – you’ve got to do that yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with having doubts if you have them.

But it’s important to make your move as soon as you can, or else she might think you aren’t interested.

3. She’s Unsure About Her Feelings

She might feel the same way, but she doesn’t know whether it’s true or not.

She might really value her relationships so she doesn’t want to waste her time on people that aren’t going to commit as much as her.

Starting any relationship is a leap of faith.

Fully giving yourself to a person can feel scary because it’s often difficult to trust that they’ll take care of you, support you, and be on your side.

That could be why she hasn’t yet flirted with you as much: she’s still trying to figure out her own feelings.

If this is the case, it’s best to give her some space, but let her know you’re still there for her.

4. You’re Sending Mixed Signals

Maybe one day you’re sending her cute photos of animals, but when you meet in person, you’d rather focus on what you’re doing than greet her.

Or you make references about your future and how you’d love to have a wife and some kids, but you just need to find the right woman for you – when she’s standing right there.

Mixed signals tend to be a major turn off.

Clear communication is the hallmark of any healthy relationship, romantic or platonic.

If you’re sending her mixed signals, or if even your friends are asking you what your plans are and you still don’t know, then it might be more appropriate to not lead her on and figure out your feelings first before making any moves.

5. There’s Someone Else

If she’s so attractive, you can be sure that you aren’t her only suitor.

There might be others trying to court her as well.

You might one day see her laughing or walking with another guy.

If this is the case, she could be ignoring you because she still hasn’t yet decided who she should be with.

She might still be weighing her options.

If this happens, it’s important to be patient with her.

You can’t force her to pick you over the other person; it’s ultimately her choice in the end.

The best you can do is keep trying to be there for her and have patience.

6. She Might Not Like You as Much as You Think

You were so giddy when you learned she liked you too that it felt like it was too good to be true – and it just might be.

If she’s replying to your texts a few hours or even a day late, or doesn’t give you her full attention when you’re together, it’s possible that what you heard was only a rumor.

By ignoring you, she might be trying to let you down easily.

She might not even be that much into you.

Maybe she just made a comment in passing that she thought you were nice, but someone had just misinterpreted that as her having a crush on you.

Whatever the case, it’s always important to manage your expectations.

7. She Has Other Priorities

Maybe she hasn’t decided yet if she even wants to pursue a relationship.

She might be going through significant changes in her personal life that she needs to juggle.

She might be thinking of a career shift that might drastically change her schedule and her personal and professional trajectory.

So this is why it’s important to not expect too much from her at the moment; she’s got a lot on her mind.

8. She Feels Angry at You

While you were both hanging out together, you might have said something that offended her – but you didn’t know.

She didn’t seem too put off by it at the moment.

But now that you’ve spent time away from each other, it’s possible that there’s been some resentment growing inside of her.

You can spot this when she talks to you in a direct and monotone way. Or how she brushes you off often.

If this happens, it’s important to take the initiative to pull her aside and apologize for what you said before.

9. She Enjoys the Chase

The waltz of courtship is a dance performed by many generations.

It’s exciting because you’re both unsure whether you’ll end up together or not.

You’re both waiting for the other to admit their feelings first.

It keeps you on edge and makes your heart flutter with excitement.

Try to enjoy these moments. Make it as exciting as you can for both of you.

If you keep her on her toes, and you keep surprising her, then it’s highly likely you’ll end up together.

10. She Values Her Personal Space

Maybe she’s more introverted than the other women you were interested in in the past.

She’s quiet and enjoys her solitude.

She isn’t the type to go out partying on a Friday night with her friends.

She might instead want to stay home to read a new book or spend time with her family.

She might just be very particular about her own personal space.

She has nothing against you.

She just needs some time to warm up to you.

If that’s the case, try to get to know each other more.

That way you can become more comfortable with each other.

11. She Feels Bored About Your Relationship

Maybe you’re both finally going out.

You took her to a nice restaurant and visited some amazing views.

And for the second date, you wanted to capture the magic again, so you ran the same routine.

Then on the third date, you both did the same things again…

You might just be boring her now. If you’re running out of places to take her, ask her or your friends for help.

Maybe she could plan something this time; ask her for suggestions.

It isn’t enough that you’re dating.

You need to maintain the excitement somehow.

12. She’s Waiting for the Right Moment to Reciprocate

Maybe the time isn’t right now.

She’s up for a promotion or she’s planning to make a big change in her personal life.

Maybe she’s still busy working on herself and coming to terms with who she is or what she wants in life.

In any case, she might just be waiting for the right time to respond to you.

Let her know you’re there for her.

But it’s also important to watch out for yourself.

Putting your life on hold for someone that isn’t even sure that likes you back might be a mistake you can avoid.

Getting Her to Notice You Again

One way to get her to notice you might be to surprise her with a modest gift.

If she mentions in passing how much she loves a certain band, you could surprise her with that band’s merch or make her a playlist of her favorite songs.

Another way might be to ask her out directly if you haven’t yet.

It might not even have to be lunch or dinner.

The local museum might have just announced it has a new collection of art pieces on display; maybe you could bring her to that.

Or you could tour her around someplace she’s never been to but you’re familiar with.

What matters is that you let her know you’re there and you aren’t like other people.


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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