Do you sometimes feel invisible and overlooked?
It’s like you put on a cloak of invisibility and people just look right past you.
Except this isn’t Lord of the Rings, and it’s not cool – plus there’s no mountain of gold treasure involved in some epic quest.
Here’s how to figure out why people are ignoring you, and how to fix it.
14 reasons people ignore you (and what to do about it)
1) They can’t relate to your interests and priorities
One of the most common reasons people ignore you is when they simply can’t relate to your interests and priorities.
This is particularly common when you are out of place in a work or social environment where you’re simply not needed or valued in any significant way.
For example, if you’re a brilliant mechanic who helps design engines, but you find yourself at a bar full of bohemian artists with zero interest in engineering, you may notice that your conversations quickly reach a dead end.
On a more serious example, if you are a committed environmentalist working at a company which makes its money from strip mining hills in West Virginia, you may find that you’re mostly ignored apart from your job duties.
Deeper friendships and relationships seem to escape you in this case, and the reason would be obvious:
You’re surrounded by people who, for the most part, simply don’t share your priorities.
They may even think you’re a nice person, but they don’t have all that much interest in getting closer to someone who’s simply on a different wavelength than them.
2) They think you are overly needy or clingy
Another of the top reasons people ignore you is when you are overly needy or clingy.
The vast majority of people love interactions which are voluntary and which they don’t feel obligated into by custom or social convention.
Sadly, even once vibrant marriages and relationships can devolve into tired habit and resentment once they become more about what’s expected than what’s voluntarily given.
On a social level, folks love to be free.
And if they feel that you’re requiring a certain level of attention, validation or time from them, they may just start skipping paying any attention to you altogether.
It hurts, and I’m not saying you deserve this at all!
There are various ways to think about being needy, and it’s not always a bad thing if you relate to it in an honest and authentic way!
Nonetheless, if you have the feeling you might be a bit overly needy, this is definitely an issue worth reflecting on.
3) They lost their desire to be around you or be with you
One of the top reasons people ignore you is when they have decided they no longer want to be around you.
This is particularly hurtful if it is someone you were in a relationship with or dated who decides they no longer have feelings for you.
If this is the situation you’re in, I know exactly how you feel.
I’ve been exactly where you are and it feels awful.
The solution can sometimes be to find a way to move on. But in some cases it’s actually about approaching this in a new way and figuring out how to tap into latent feelings your ex still has…
In this situation, there’s only one thing to do – re-spark their romantic interest in you.
I learned about this from relationship coach Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”for a very good reason.
In this free video, Browning will show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
4) They find you overly critical and judgmental
I’m a very critical and judgmental person. In a certain way I own that, it’s who I am and I believe it can have value in various contexts.
Nonetheless, I also understand why it’s driven many people away from me, especially when folks perceived my judgmental attitude as being hypocritical or merely a form of brute egotism.
The fact of the matter is that one of the biggest reasons people ignore you is when they feel that you’re just too critical and down on everyone.
Even if they find some of what you say hilarious or true, they get spooked by the idea of spending too much time around someone who could eventually turn on them.
At its heart, judgment serves a useful and valuable function.
Just as a merchant has to weigh goods to determine their value and a jeweler has to view a gem closely to determine its value, so too certain judgments can be accurate and helpful.
But being overly critical generally comes from one main source: intense insecurity and frustration.
This source makes people ignore you, because they sense that you haven’t yet come to a powerful place in yourself where you can absorb what angers and frustrates you without always expressing it like a child.
5) They find you too arrogant and never admitting mistakes
Another of the most common reasons people ignore you is when you never own up to your mistakes.
You may be an incredible and wonderful person who people love being around, but something about the way you never admit when you’re wrong just drives them nuts.
Don’t get me wrong:
There are people who are way too self-critical and constantly deprecating themselves. They say sorry for speaking one decibel louder than they should.
But if you’re a person who never apologizes and is constantly thinking that you’re perfect, eventually most people get exhausted.
They simply pass you by and stop inviting you to events and get-togethers. They place you on the “more trouble than he/she is worth” list.
The reason here is simple: you act overly self-righteous even on small things, and they’re done dealing with it.
6) You don’t make a strong impression and come across as apathetic
One of the sadder reasons people ignore you can be when you just don’t make a big impression.
Sure, nobody lik[es a drama queen, but people do want somebody who is memorable and makes an impact on them.
It can hurt even more when the person who seems to be forgetting about you is somebody who used to be romantically involved with you.
As I was mentioning earlier, there are techniques you can do to help get your ex back.
Of course, you can also just improve yourself and hope for the best or that “destiny” helps you out…
But rather than leaving it up to fate to decide, why not take things into your own hands and find a way to get through to your ex?
I mentioned Brad Browning earlier – he’s an expert in relationships and reconciliation.
His practical tips have helped thousands of men and women not only reconnect with their exes but to rebuild the love and commitment they once shared.
If you’d like to do the same, check out his excellent free video here.
7) They find you undependable and dishonest
I hope this list isn’t starting to feel like a comedy roast without the comedy, but it’s always better to be brutally honest than kindly dishonest.
And that’s brings us to this point:
One of the big reasons people ignore you can be when they just don’t find you dependable.
This is especially common if you find that you’re ignored in a professional context by coworkers and colleagues.
They nod and maybe smile, but they don’t seem to offer you opportunities or want to work on projects with you.
Right or wrong, you may have obtained a reputation as being undependable or shifty.
It can take a long time to rebuild, but rest assured that the right people in your life will see your value as you work to overcome negative judgments about you, especially ones that may be unfairly earned.
8) You make them feel bad about their lifestyle or values
Another of the major reasons people ignore you can be when you make them feel guilty or bad about themselves.
This doesn’t always mean that you doing this is unfair or uncalled for.
For example, if you are in a culture or social environment where people talk very roughly and swear a lot and you express being uncomfortable with it or noticeably refrain from swearing, you may be mocked or ignored as a prude.
It doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong, necessarily.
It simply means people begin to ignore you because you don’t fit into the society.
The same may be said if you’re particularly religious and living in a non-religious society, an atheist living in a devout culture or passionately pursuing goals which make others feel lazy.
Sometimes pursuing innovative and daring objectives makes people resentful.
Sometimes the courage to be yourself and work on what you want to do means the courage to be disliked by many people around you.
9) You don’t have a strong enough mission and direction in life
It’s hard to find your purpose in life, and I spent years waiting for other people to explain what I should do.
The end result was I got older.
And the question of what to really commit to in life only became stronger!
One of the biggest reasons people ignore you can be when they feel you’re looking too much to other people to tell you what to do.
They have even less answers than you do, so they shy away.
With that in mind, let’s address this head-on:
What would you say if I asked you what your purpose is?
It’s a hard question!
And there are far too many people trying to tell you it will just “come to you” and to focus on “raising your vibrations” or finding some vague kind of inner peace.
Self-help gurus are out there preying on people’s insecurities to make money and selling them on techniques which really don’t work for achieving your dreams.
Sage burning ceremonies with some vaguely indigenous chanting music in the background.
The truth is that visualization and positive vibes won’t bring you closer to your dreams, and they can actually drag you backwards into wasting your life on a fantasy.
But it’s hard to find your purpose and stop relying on others for validation when you’re being hit with so many different claims.
You can end up trying so hard and not finding the answers you need that your life and dreams begin to feel hopeless.
You want solutions, but all you’re being told is to create a perfect utopia inside your own mind. It doesn’t work.
So let’s go back to basics:
Before you can experience a real change, you need to really know your purpose.
I learned about the power of finding your purpose from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself.
Justin used to be addicted to the self-help industry and New Age gurus just like me. They sold him on ineffective visualization and positive thinking techniques.
Four years ago, he traveled to Brazil to meet the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, for a different perspective.
Rudá taught him a life-changing new way to find your purpose and use it to transform your life.
After watching the video, I also discovered and understood my purpose in life and it’s no exaggeration to say it was a turning point in my life.
I can honestly say that this new way of finding success by finding your purpose actually helped me to stop feeling so overlooked and frustrated.
10) They’re jealous of you and resent your success
Keep in mind that the various reasons people ignore you are not always about blaming or focusing on yourself.
Despite a trend towards intense self-focus in the self-development world, I think it’s very crucial to be honest about the ways in which other people can let us down.
Sometimes other people just suck and they really do unfairly ignore and resent you.
We hear a lot about not looking down on those who are having a hard time in life.
But what about those who are kicking ass, overcoming obstacles and turning their struggles into fuel for victory?
It’s easy to hate winners.
If that’s you, rest easy. You deserve better people around you, and continuing on the winning trajectory you soon will.
Like LovePanky writes:
“There are some cases where you’re not doing anything wrong.
In fact, the people who are ignoring you are jealous or bitter over your achievements, etc. So, they want to bring you down the only way they can.”
11) They find you overly closed off or reserved
Another one of the top reasons people ignore you can be that they find you overly closed off or reserved.
You may not mean this is any hurtful or desultory way. You may just be genuinely a bit more of a reserved person…
Or you may be around people who are a lot more “open” than you.
Either way, don’t worry:
This is not about blame.
The key is to embrace who you are while also remaining aware that some may find it underwhelming.
Being “closed off” can really be a matter of perspective, so it depends on the context.
We’re not always all social all the time, and if certain people find you overly reserved you don’t have to take it to heart.
12) They’re way too busy with their own lives
This point relates to my earlier encouragement to do your best to find out your own purpose.
The fact is that one of the top reasons people ignore you is that they are just plain way too busy with their own lives.
They smile and nod at you and maybe engage in chit chat, but they don’t invite you anywhere or get to know you better because they are absolutely slammed.
To those of us who have been marginalized a lot or faced rejection, this kind of behavior can seem very targeted and personal.
But the honest truth is that it’s usually not.
It’s just people who are very absorbed in their own lives and don’t have that much space to fit anyone new into the nooks and crevices.
The key in such a case is to find people who have a bit more spare time or free room, because hitting your head against a wall won’t do you any good.
13) They’re selfish and unappreciative of others
Have you ever just walked into a room and been surrounded by people who you know are not great people?
I’m sorry if this sounds judgmental: it’s 100% true.
And I’m not talking about labels, either. I’m talking about the atmosphere in the air.
You come in open and friendly, and you’re ignored because you enter an event or atmosphere of people who don’t appreciate other people.
This can also happen with an ex who is extremely arrogant or closed off.
That feeling when you know you’re around folks who are closed off, fake, and think they are better than you.
That feeling when you know that you’re looked on as nothing more than dirt for no reason other than the fact that you’re not a celebrity or visibly wealthy.
Well, so be it.
These are not the kind of people you want to admire you in any case, and trying to win their approval will require becoming pretentious as well (as well as shelling out for $500 bottles of vodka and chronicling your every move on social media).
Forget it. Ignore them.
14) They simply don’t understand or appreciate you
Last and definitely not least:
One of the common reasons people ignore you is when they simply don’t understand you.
This doesn’t necessarily make you superior or any other qualitative judgment.
But it does make you different.
One of the intense ironies I’ve noted over the past decades that I’ve been alive is how being different has been commoditized and fetishized in a way which makes actually being different just as rare as it’s always been.
Being truly different is not a status symbol. And it’s not a hashtag which will bring you fame or likes.
It’s being radically, unapologetically authentic even when others don’t understand or value you and even when it leads to being truly misunderstood.
So be it.
Being ignored in such a way can be an honor, really. Even though it admittedly can get lonely.
And if it’s your ex who is doing the ignoring, it can take your heart through some very painful experiences.
Getting back on track
When it comes to being ignored, nobody can blame you for being upset.
Humans are tribal animals and we don’t fare well when we feel excluded and ignored.
I know I don’t.
When this is somebody you care about or once cared about it’s even harder.
As I mentioned earlier, getting your ex back and dealing with people who generally don’t give you the respect you deserve can be very tough!
But if you really want to get your ex back, you’re going to need a bit of help.
And the best person to turn to is relationship coach Brad Browning.
No matter how ugly the breakup was, how hurtful the arguments were, he’s developed a couple of unique techniques to not only get your ex back but to keep them for good.
So, if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start afresh with them, I’d highly recommend checking out his incredible advice.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,