When you break up, there’s a recovery period.
Even the strongest of us need some time to pick up our broken heart and start stitching the pieces back together.
So why is it that insecure guys seem to bounce back from a break up quicker than anyone else?
This is my take.
Why do insecure guys move on so quickly? 10 possible reasons
First off, I think that we need to define what an insecure guy is and then look at why they move on so quickly.
Understanding this can be really helpful to those dealing with an insecure guy who seems to have bounced back rapidly from a breakup.
Here we go.
1) They’re repressing their emotions
Insecure guys aren’t sure of their own value and tend to doubt their attractiveness, intelligence, beliefs and dating potential.
At first glance, therefore, it would seem that such a guy would be devastated by a breakup.
After all, this only reinforces his belief that he’s dirt, right?
Actually, one of the top reasons why many insecure guys move on so quickly is that they are terrified of facing that inner critic.
So they immediately rebound.
They need someone new to hold before they face the demon inside once again and go crazy.
So they are over you in record time and seemingly dating someone new who they’re super happy with.
This is almost always them trying to hard to repress and cover the pain.
2) They want a sexual bandaid
Another of the possible reasons insecure guys move on so quickly is that they use sex as a bandaid.
If he really liked you and it didn’t work out, he’s dying inside.
So he goes looking for a sexual adventure and warm embrace to try to drug himself to forget the pain.
It’s sad and it’s a bad tactic. But it happens all the time.
An insecure man drowns his sorrows at the bar, in the arms of a stranger or even watching porn online.
He may do anything he can to try to get you out of his head, since he can’t get you out of his heart.
Relationship Coach David Matthews spells this out very well:
“The speed in which a man moves from a bitter breakup to a new amorous attachment is directly proportional to the pain he’s feeling — the deeper the hurt the quicker the hookup.”
3) Look inside yourself
If you’re wondering why insecure guys move on so quickly, part of it relates to your own experiences in love.
After all: what defines “quickly” and what is your reaction to it?
If you’re reading this article, you’re probably dealing with a guy you were with who got over you faster than you expected, and it’s hurting you.
That’s perfectly understandable, and I sympathize.
People often react to love in ways that are very hard to predict and that can unexpectedly hurt us.
4) They’re in full on denial mode
Another of the things that makes some insecure guys move on so quickly is that they’re in full on denial mode.
They’re medicating themselves, more or less.
They want the pain to go away, and they doubt their own worth.
They don’t feel you’d take them back again, so they’re turning to the closest substitutes, whether that’s substances, sex or some form of hedonism.
Maybe they’re sitting online playing video games all day with people across the world, too.
Whatever addiction it takes to help them deny the pain they’re in!
Dating writer Katarzyna Portka explains:
“Men are a different species. When their relationship crumbles, it causes a huge emotional void.
“They use distraction and denial to cope with their emotions when going through a breakup.”
5) They’re paranoid about unrequited love
If you’ve dealt with unrequited love or are dealing with it now, you know how awful it can be.
It’s one of the most painful experiences any of us can go through.
Having been through it several times I can attest to that!
One of the top reasons some insecure guys race to get over a girl is that they are terrified of unrequited love.
If you were the one who dumped them, or if the relationship didn’t work out for some reason that preyed on their insecurities, you have to realize they are in panic mode:
Their worst fears have been confirmed…
They feel like shit…
And they’re running to try to get away from the horrible feeling that they’re not going to succeed in loving and being loved in return in this life.
So they try to find any girl who likes them or will sleep with them as soon as possible.
Even if they don’t love her, at least she provides basic validation that you, somehow, could not provide or weren’t able to keep offering in the way they needed.
6) He’s downright scared of being single
Another thing that plagues many insecure guys is a fear of being single.
They often fall into the anxious type in terms of attachment styles.
The anxious attachment style craves validation and can never get enough confirmation.
“Are you sure you really like me a lot?” they will ask all the time.
“Do you think we definitely have a chance at a serious relationship down the line?” (I hate myself for being a person who’s asked this exact humiliating question of a girl).
Now that they’re single, it’s mission: move on.
That can be very hard if you also are not thrilled about being single or are having a lot of trouble meeting someone new.
7) He’s faking it
Another thing to consider here is the very real chance that an insecure guy is faking it.
Like, just straight up completely faking being over you.
He may appear to be dating new girls …
Have smiling selfies all over and a roaring social life…
But back at home he’s crying with the curtains drawn and waking up with whiskey on his breath.
Don’t discount the chance of this, because the chance is actually pretty high.
Even if he is dating someone new, it’s often more for show.
He’s giving you the finger and trying to show off a brave front.
Below that exterior is often the same scared, insecure guy.
He’s not over you at all. He’s not OK. He hasn’t moved on.
He’s just putting on a show.
8) He’s confused about his own feelings
Here’s the about being insecure:
It means exactly what it sounds like, and it’s not just on an emotional level.
Insecure men tend to be very wavering about their own thoughts, beliefs and judgments.
As a consequence, they often act very impulsively.
And when I say they, I’m partly pointing the finger at myself in shame.
Insecurity is a killer, because it not only makes you doubt the past, it often makes you take action in the present which directly leads to negative outcomes in the future.
Not a good combination.
9) He’s still into an ex
Another of the possible reasons that this insecure guy may be racing to get over you is that he’s still into an ex.
When this is the case, he may rapidly downscale his feelings for you because he has someone else in his sights.
For an insecure guy it can be very hard to meet someone.
He may fall too easily for a girl, as well.
So if things didn’t work out with you, there’s a very high chance he’s going to turn back to the last girl who gave him the time of day:
Or, failing that, he may turn back to a close friend or a female acquaintance who gives him the reassurance and support he craves.
Next thing you know he’s dating and with someone new.
10) He’s competing with you
Guys are known to have a competitive streak, and it can definitely pop up in insecure men as well.
He may simply be competing with you.
The love you had is gone, so now the games are on.
This means he’s trying to find someone before you do, and whether or not it’s really someone special to him, he’s going to showcase her all over social media and brag about it.
Making you feel you lost and that you missed out on him as a catch.
It’s quite common behavior for men and women to do this, and it’s not just an age thing either.
Mature individuals still play games like this all the time.
I guess most of us aren’t quite as over our inner insecurities as we like to think.
How should you react?
If you’re struggling over an insecure guy who’s moved on very fast, I highly recommend speaking to a relationship coach over at Relationship Hero.
Remember that sometimes it’s easier to deal with these kinds of challenges when you have an outside, expert opinion.
Insecure men can be so hard to read, and their behavior may leave you second-guessing yourself and your history with them.
What even happened?
Love can be hard, and I sympathize with that.
Just remember that not everything is the way it looks on the surface.