Why do insecure guys move on so quickly? 10 possible reasons

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When you break up, there’s a recovery period.

Even the strongest of us need some time to pick up our broken heart and start stitching the pieces back together.

So why is it that insecure guys seem to bounce back from a break up quicker than anyone else?

This is my take.

Why do insecure guys move on so quickly? 10 possible reasons

First off, I think that we need to define what an insecure guy is and then look at why they move on so quickly.

Understanding this can be really helpful to those dealing with an insecure guy who seems to have bounced back rapidly from a breakup.

Here we go.

1) They’re repressing their emotions

Insecure guys aren’t sure of their own value and tend to doubt their attractiveness, intelligence, beliefs and dating potential.

At first glance, therefore, it would seem that such a guy would be devastated by a breakup.

After all, this only reinforces his belief that he’s dirt, right?

Actually, one of the top reasons why many insecure guys move on so quickly is that they are terrified of facing that inner critic.

So they immediately rebound.

They need someone new to hold before they face the demon inside once again and go crazy.

So they are over you in record time and seemingly dating someone new who they’re super happy with.

This is almost always them trying to hard to repress and cover the pain.

2) They want a sexual bandaid

Another of the possible reasons insecure guys move on so quickly is that they use sex as a bandaid.

If he really liked you and it didn’t work out, he’s dying inside.

So he goes looking for a sexual adventure and warm embrace to try to drug himself to forget the pain.

It’s sad and it’s a bad tactic. But it happens all the time.

An insecure man drowns his sorrows at the bar, in the arms of a stranger or even watching porn online.

He may do anything he can to try to get you out of his head, since he can’t get you out of his heart.

Relationship Coach David Matthews spells this out very well:

“The speed in which a man moves from a bitter breakup to a new amorous attachment is directly proportional to the pain he’s feeling — the deeper the hurt the quicker the hookup.”

3) Look inside yourself

If you’re wondering why insecure guys move on so quickly, part of it relates to your own experiences in love.

After all: what defines “quickly” and what is your reaction to it?

If you’re reading this article, you’re probably dealing with a guy you were with who got over you faster than you expected, and it’s hurting you.

That’s perfectly understandable, and I sympathize.

People often react to love in ways that are very hard to predict and that can unexpectedly hurt us.

Here’s the thing:

Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?

Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…

When you’re dealing with [article topic] it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.

I want to suggest doing something different.

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.

In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.

As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.

We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel horrible about things like people who seem to get over us with no problem.

We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.

We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.

We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution insecurity in love.

If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.

I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) They’re in full on denial mode

Another of the things that makes some insecure guys move on so quickly is that they’re in full on denial mode.

They’re medicating themselves, more or less.

They want the pain to go away, and they doubt their own worth.

They don’t feel you’d take them back again, so they’re turning to the closest substitutes, whether that’s substances, sex or some form of hedonism.

Maybe they’re sitting online playing video games all day with people across the world, too.

Whatever addiction it takes to help them deny the pain they’re in!

Dating writer Katarzyna Portka explains:

“Men are a different species. When their relationship crumbles, it causes a huge emotional void.

“They use distraction and denial to cope with their emotions when going through a breakup.”

5) They’re paranoid about unrequited love

If you’ve dealt with unrequited love or are dealing with it now, you know how awful it can be.

It’s one of the most painful experiences any of us can go through.

Having been through it several times I can attest to that!

One of the top reasons some insecure guys race to get over a girl is that they are terrified of unrequited love.

If you were the one who dumped them, or if the relationship didn’t work out for some reason that preyed on their insecurities, you have to realize they are in panic mode:

Their worst fears have been confirmed…

They feel like shit…

And they’re running to try to get away from the horrible feeling that they’re not going to succeed in loving and being loved in return in this life.

So they try to find any girl who likes them or will sleep with them as soon as possible.

Even if they don’t love her, at least she provides basic validation that you, somehow, could not provide or weren’t able to keep offering in the way they needed.

6) He’s downright scared of being single

Another thing that plagues many insecure guys is a fear of being single.

They often fall into the anxious type in terms of attachment styles.

The anxious attachment style craves validation and can never get enough confirmation.

“Are you sure you really like me a lot?” they will ask all the time.

“Do you think we definitely have a chance at a serious relationship down the line?” (I hate myself for being a person who’s asked this exact humiliating question of a girl).

Now that they’re single, it’s mission: move on.

That can be very hard if you also are not thrilled about being single or are having a lot of trouble meeting someone new.

While this article explores the main reasons why insecure guys rebound so fast, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like dealing with insecure guys who are leaving you confused with their behavior.

They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship that led to breaking up.

As a fairly insecure guy, I was dealing with conflicting emotions around a breakup and I wanted to get their advice and support.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

7) He’s faking it

Another thing to consider here is the very real chance that an insecure guy is faking it.

Like, just straight up completely faking being over you.

He may appear to be dating new girls …

Have smiling selfies all over and a roaring social life…

But back at home he’s crying with the curtains drawn and waking up with whiskey on his breath.

Don’t discount the chance of this, because the chance is actually pretty high.

Even if he is dating someone new, it’s often more for show.

He’s giving you the finger and trying to show off a brave front.

Below that exterior is often the same scared, insecure guy.

He’s not over you at all. He’s not OK. He hasn’t moved on.

He’s just putting on a show.

8) He’s confused about his own feelings

Here’s the about being insecure:

It means exactly what it sounds like, and it’s not just on an emotional level.

Insecure men tend to be very wavering about their own thoughts, beliefs and judgments.

As a consequence, they often act very impulsively.

And when I say they, I’m partly pointing the finger at myself in shame.

Insecurity is a killer, because it not only makes you doubt the past, it often makes you take action in the present which directly leads to negative outcomes in the future.

Not a good combination.

9) He’s still into an ex

Another of the possible reasons that this insecure guy may be racing to get over you is that he’s still into an ex.

When this is the case, he may rapidly downscale his feelings for you because he has someone else in his sights.

For an insecure guy it can be very hard to meet someone.

He may fall too easily for a girl, as well.

So if things didn’t work out with you, there’s a very high chance he’s going to turn back to the last girl who gave him the time of day:

His ex.

Or, failing that, he may turn back to a close friend or a female acquaintance who gives him the reassurance and support he craves.

Next thing you know he’s dating and with someone new.

10) He’s competing with you

Guys are known to have a competitive streak, and it can definitely pop up in insecure men as well.

He may simply be competing with you.

The love you had is gone, so now the games are on.

This means he’s trying to find someone before you do, and whether or not it’s really someone special to him, he’s going to showcase her all over social media and brag about it.

The goal?

Making you feel you lost and that you missed out on him as a catch.

It’s quite common behavior for men and women to do this, and it’s not just an age thing either.

Mature individuals still play games like this all the time.

I guess most of us aren’t quite as over our inner insecurities as we like to think.

How should you react?

If you’re struggling over an insecure guy who’s moved on very fast, I highly recommend speaking to a relationship coach over at Relationship Hero.

Remember that sometimes it’s easier to deal with these kinds of challenges when you have an outside, expert opinion.

Insecure men can be so hard to read, and their behavior may leave you second-guessing yourself and your history with them.

What even happened?

Love can be hard, and I sympathize with that.

Just remember that not everything is the way it looks on the surface.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Paul Brian

I’m a multimedia journalist with experience in print, photography, video, and online. My passion is reporting on individuals, faiths, nations, and situations that impact us all on the journey of life.

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