Paul Brian
Last night I had a dream that left me spinning in confusion.
I dreamed that my ex texted me and wanted to get back together.
The reason it confused me is that we’re the furthest thing from getting back together you can be – in fact she’s engaged to someone else!
In any case, I looked into these kinds of dreams a little more, and here’s what I found.
Why did I dream about my ex texting me? 10 possible interpretations
Psychological pioneer Sigmund Freud said dreams basically represent our repressed wishes and fears.
Fellow psychological great mind Carl Jung, by contrast, said dreams often also represent a part of our own psyche that we are struggling with or trying to reconcile with or understand.
1) You want them back
Let’s start with the simplest and most obvious interpretation here:
Maybe you dreamed about them sending you a message because you want your ex back.
By the Freudian model, dreams represent repressed or unfulfilled wishes.
Therefore the simplest unfulfilled wish of an ex is that you are no longer with them and you wish you were.
Signs that this may indeed be the main point of the dream are around how you feel when you wake up.
Do you feel a sense of longing and missing your ex?
Are you thinking back to how it was when you were together?
In that case, this may indeed be what it was about.
2) You’re scared they’ll be back
Next up, if you’re wondering “why did I dream about my ex texting me?” is the possibility that the dream is a sublimated fear.
In other words, you’re worried about somehow ending up back with your ex.
Maybe the relationship was abusive, psychologically traumatic or upsetting in other ways which makes you glad it’s over.
Now you dream of your ex pinging you not as a repressed wish fulfillment but as a kind of nightmare.
You dread them coming back into your life or you giving them another chance.
And this dream reflects that.
Warning signs that this is what’s going on is that you wake up feeling terrified and then feel relief to see that your ex did not actually text you.
Bullet: dodged.
3) You’re confused about your breakup
Breakups are intense.
Even the most amicable separation involves a lot of confusion and mixed emotions.
Whether it’s you who broke up or your partner, you may feel a very mixed reaction to parting ways.
This is where these kinds of dreams come into the picture.
They can be a sign that you’re simply very confused – and one possible answer is that you might have a repressed desire for them.
4) You have a repressed desire for them
Next up in a related category is that you are dreaming about your ex texting you because you have repressed desire for them.
Thinking about them and wondering what they are up to has found its way into your subconscious mind.
Now you are dreaming of them contacting you because in truth you really want them.
You want them physically…
You want them emotionally…
You want the kinds of conversations you used to have…
This kind of sublimated desire is bound to pop back out.
And when it does, it’s natural for you to dream about your ex.
The truth is this:
Who we end up having relationships with is far from random…
I’m not necessarily a believer in past lives and all of that. I’ll leave it to the gurus.
But I do believe that we have certain patterns and destinies that end up aligning in special ways.
Call me a romantic!
When you love someone, it’s just how it is! So if you’re dreaming of them, there’s a good chance it’s because you have a real desire for them that goes deeper than just the physical.
5) They represent part of yourself you’ve lost
On the Jungian side of the equation, consider your ex as a part of yourself.
How to do this?
Well, the way to do so is more or less to consider the main character traits of your ex partner.
What were they like? How did they make you feel?
They may represent a part of your own character or potential that you feel insecure about or wish you could express more fully.
For example, if your partner was very confident and you are generally not, your dream of them contacting you could be your sublimated desire to be more confident on your own behalf.
Or, if your ex was very expressive of their own emotions, your dream about them contacting you could be your own expression of a desire to be more expressive of how you feel.
These can be very valuable lessons that teach you a lot, so pay attention to them
6) They represent sadness from the past
The past is hard.
For one thing, you can’t change it.
Secondly, all the mistakes and disappointments of the past are locked there like they’re embedded in an airtight locker.
There’s nothing you can do!
The past is over, it happened!
It’s done.
Sometimes you may dream about something like your ex contacting you for the simple reason that they represent regret from the past.
You can’t do it over, but you don’t feel good about it.
Whether “it” is your ex him or herself or more generally all those times from the past, it amounts to the same thing.
You’re sad, and you’re dreaming about it.
7) They’re pointing out a path forward
Sometimes one of the reasons why you might dream of an ex texting you is that they are pointing the path forward in your own love life.
Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?
Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…
When you’re dealing with dreaming about an ex it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.
Everything reminds you of them, even your dreams!
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.
We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel horrible about things like being hung up on an ex.
We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.
We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.
We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to worrying about past relationships that didn’t go how I hoped.
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.
I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
Click here to watch the free video.
8) Your ex wants you back
Another interpretation of dreaming about your ex texting you is that it might mean they want you back.
When we desire something strongly, it can act as a sort of spiritual telegram, emitting a signal into the universe.
This signal often finds its way to the mind or emotions of the person it concerns.
So in this case you may be receiving what your ex is sending through his or her strong emotions or thoughts about you.
To put it bluntly:
Your ex might still be in love with you.
This could be why they are finding their way into your dreams.
9) You are having issues in your current relationship
Another of the common reasons why you may dream about your ex contacting you is that your current relationship is not going well.
Alternately, if you’re currently single it could be that being alone is not sitting so well with you.
Dreams can often serve as a kind of outlet for what is frustrating us.
You may feel very disappointed by your current relationship, and this dream is your way of letting out that disappointment and fantasizing about the return of a past partner.
Whether or not that relationship was really such a positive force may also be a matter of interpretation.
It’s certainly true that we often put on rose-colored glasses when it comes to the past.
But if this is the meaning of your dream then it’s definitely worth thinking about the problems you’re currently having and what they might mean.
How much you read into it if this is the case is up to you.
Maybe it’s a sign to let your current relationship go…
Maybe it’s just a sign of temporary frustrations in your current status that you’ll get over soon.
10) You miss your old self when you were with them
Another of the top reasons why you may have dreamt about your ex texting you is that you miss your old self when you were with them.
If this was a time in your life when you were very self-actualized and living to the fullest, your dream may be an expression of longing for that old you.
Sometimes it’s less about the partner you were with and more about how you yourself were at that time.
This can be a subtle part of dreams that people often miss when trying to interpret them.
The message from your ex can be, in a way, a message from the old you.
It’s calling you back to re-embrace parts of yourself or your old reality that may have since slipped away or faded.
In this sense, such a dream can be a very positive sign of reclaiming your personal power and agency.
“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again…”
So begins Daphne Du Maurier’s classic 1938 gothic novel Rebecca.
The power of past relationships and past nostalgia can be intense, even when it involved a lot of fear and heartbreak.
While your dream about your ex texting you may be meaningful, don’t let it blind you to the fact that it’s OK for the past to stay in the past.
This does not necessarily mean you should get back with your ex, so rest easy.
If it does mean that a reconciliation is advisable or on the horizon, fear not.
More signs and guide posts of this step will present themselves if it’s something that is meant to come your way.
For now, consider this to be just a dream.
