It’s not you…it’s them.
Do you simply find people annoying? You’re certainly not alone.
We all have negative personality traits that can definitely drive people mad.
Some days, you might find yourself questioning whether you’re the only person who feels this way. I can assure you, you’re definitely not.
Some people are just better at ignoring.
Others are great at walking away.
And some just have a very high tolerance for these annoying traits.
Here are the top reasons people are so annoying (and what you can do about it).
1) They’re fake
If you’ve ever come across a fake person (it’s almost hard not to these days), then you’re probably finding yourself annoyed just thinking about them.
They’re pretty easy to spot in a crowd.
They are so inauthentic that you can smell it from a while away.
Fake people spend so much time and effort trying to be the version of themselves they want to be, that it’s hard not to be annoyed when you’re spending time with them.
You’re not getting to know a real person. You’re simply getting to though the version of themselves they want to share. This version is often so far from their values and who they are it’s almost infuriating.
The ‘put-on’ persona has to be one of the hardest personality traits to just deal with. They’re in it for the attention.
It’s not you, it’s 100% them.
Your best option? Avoid them altogether. If it’s attention they are after, then the best thing you can do is deprive them of it. Don’t engage. Don’t play along. Don’t call them out. None of these tactics will get you far.
Fake people are very committed to their cause and a few words from you isn’t going to stop them in their tracks.
If you can’t avoid them entirely, then just keep it short and move on.
The less time you spend with them, the less annoyed you will find yourself afterwards.
It’s a win-win in my books.
2) They’re judgemental
Why is it that some people feel they can prop themselves up on some kind of pedestal above the rest of us and point their big, fat judgemental nose into our business?
Judgemental people are annoying. It’s a simple fact.
They speak, think and behave in a way that suggests they are better than you. Better than those around you. Here are three things they all have in common:
- They judge EVERYTHING.
- They have little care for your feelings.
- They believe their own truth.
No one can handle being criticised all the time, which is why judgemental people are so annoying.
Not to mention, we all define success in life very differently. What makes their truth the right truth? Nothing of course. Which just adds fuel to the fire of annoyance we have burning here.
So, what can you do about it?
While it might be tempting to throw it back in their face and get fired up, a judgemental person will just take that as a sign they have hit a nerve of truth. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
Instead, let them know nicely that you didn’t ask for their opinion and that’s the end of that. If you feel like it, walk away in the process. Done.
You’ll find your level of annoyance slipping away in the process.
3) They’re egocentric
I’m feeling annoyed just thinking about these people.
The ones who insist on being the centre of attention and make everything about them, and them only.
You could get hit by a car and be lying on the road dying, and they will still turn the attention onto them and the horror they have been through witnessing that event. True story.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters to them is their ego.
It will come first, second, third… you get the point. To put it simply, they’re self-centred.
It’s no wonder we find these people so annoying. You can’t ever get close to them, as they only have room for them in their life.
So, what value do they add in your life?
Not much, I’m afraid. It’s best to ditch them until that ego drops.
If you’re after the best way to deal with this kind of people, let them know that when they are around you, it’s not all about them.
Interrupt them (nicely) and turn the topic of conversation onto someone else. You might have to even be blunt about it and let them know it’s time we let someone else chat.
Egotistical people aren’t going to give up the limelight without a little pushback.
4) They’re a pessimist
Doom and gloom.
It’s not something we want to find ourselves surrounded around all the time.
Yet a pessimist seems to seek this out.
They are always out to prove that the universe really doesn’t like or care about them at all.
When things go right, they have the belief it is fleeting so they don’t try and enjoy it.
When things go wrong, it’s proof that the universe really is against them.
They definitely aren’t pleasant people to be around. They have the power to bring the entire mood of an event down.
People who want to be miserable for the sake of being miserable are just annoying to be around.
So, what can you do about it?
Apart from the obvious, which is to avoid them at all costs.
The next best thing is to counter all their negative remarks with something positive. See the good in every negative thing they have to say and do your best to change the mood around.
Hopefully, they will start to keep their food to themselves.
5) They’re greedy
If you’ve ever met a greedy person, I bet you hoped you’d never come across them again.
Greedy people are very draining.
No matter how much you give, they want more and more.
It’s not just about being greedy for money.
It can also be other things, like being greedy with your time.
Greedy people are very draining and very annoying.
And don’t even bother wasting your time asking for something from them. If it doesn’t serve their interests, then they definitely aren’t interested in it.
Nothing is ever enough for them.
So, how do you treat a greedy person who is annoying you? Well, you start by saying no. You can guarantee they won’t like hearing it, but they need to.
You can also put conditions on things. Tell them, I will give up my time to help you if you will help me do this afterwards. (Or maybe get them to help you first so you know they aren’t going to pull out)!
Greedy people often need to be put in their place.
But even that won’t stop them from being annoying.
You might just have to cut your losses and escape that relationship, and feel better off for it!
6) They’re dishonest
Is there anything more annoying than someone you can’t trust?
You can never be sure of them when you’re around them, but you can guarantee they are never thinking of your best interests.
Annoying isn’t it?
Whether they’re lying, keeping secrets, being hypocritical, or trying to cheat you, who has the time for dishonest people in their life?
While you might do your best to stay away from them, some people just have a way of creeping their way in without you noticing. They could be a work colleague, or even a friend of a friend.
The best thing you can do around dishonest people is to stay alert when you’re around them. Keep your guard up and always be suspicious of them. While it’s not a nice way to live, it is the best way to protect yourself.
Don’t worry about trying to get even with them if they cheat, lie or steal. Let’s face it, it’s not worth stooping to the same, annoying level of theirs.
Instead, fight dishonesty with honesty. Let them know what they did was wrong and call them out on it. Never let dishonest behaviour slip under the radar or they will be even more likely to continue it, thinking they can get away with it.
The last thing you want to do is trust them.
7) They’re unforgiving
In other words, those who like to hold a grudge.
Honestly, is there anything more annoying?
After all, we all make mistakes in life, and to be around someone who just isn’t willing to forgive under any circumstances isn’t much fun for anyone involved.
Sure, some mistakes are much bigger than others, which makes it easy to see where these people come from. But an unforgiving person is the type to hold onto the little grudges as well.
They’re the ones who remember that time you stole the work project from them 5 years ago and still bring it up at the office drinks.
No one needs that kind of negativity in life. You want to just tell them to build a bridge and literally get over it, but that doesn’t seem to work.
So, what can you do about it?
Make a point of moving forward. If this person is part of your life, then you need to find a way to make it work for both of you.
If they continue to bring up the past, then you need to be firm with them. Let them know the past is in the past and it’s time to look to the future now.
Hold this line every single time they bring up a past mistake or wrong of yours and steer the conversation in another direction.
Hopefully, they get the hint and become a lot less annoying over time. We can only hope!
8) They’re helpless
OK, let’s stop for a second. How annoying are helpless people?
Those who can’t see to do anything for themselves.
Can’t make up their mind about where to eat. Can’t walk up to the bar to pay on their own. God forbid they ever wander off to the bathroom on their own.
Helpless people are one of the most annoying personality traits out there, for the simple fact that they rely on you so much. For absolutely everything.
It’s like having a little child following you around all day and asking for help and never giving you even a minute’s breathing space. No one has time for that.
So, what can you do about it?
I would love to tell you that you could just tell the grow a pair, but unfortunately, it simply doesn’t work that way.
You also can’t take on the role of rescuer for them, or they will suck you right down with them.
The best thing you can do is encourage them to make the best of their situation. To stand up for themselves and to give something a go.
You don’t want to push someone out of their comfort zone, but it certainly is annoying when you have someone latched onto you.
Put in place some boundaries and stick to them.
The ironic thing is, most helpless people simply can’t be helped!
9) They’re impatient
Have you ever noticed how annoying impatient people are?
Of course you have! They’re the ones that are always trying to move the group from one activity to the next and can’t seem to slow down a little to actually enjoy themselves along the way.
And don’t you ever turn up late. Impatient people just hate waiting!
While some situations call for it, most really don’t. And having an impatient person on top of you all the time can be very, very annoying.
But, you can learn to live with it.
It means letting the impatient person know they have been heard, while telling them the rest of the group isn’t ready yet and will catch up.
If they make a big deal about someone being late, something being late, or just any kind of impatient quip, remind them that you’re all there to have a good time, which is all that matters.
It can often help to let this person know that being impatient isn’t going to get them anywhere. You’re not going to speed up for them. You’re not going to make snide remarks about the late friend and you’re certainly not going to be rude to staff.
What you are going to do is ignore them and enjoy yourself.
10) They’re passive-aggressive
This has to be one of the worst personality traits, as you simply never know when they’re going to strike! Out of nowhere a passive-aggressive person will do something behind your back, and avoid confrontation at all costs.
They stay at a safe distance and enjoy reaping the rewards of their plunder, while never coming out of the shadows. Annoying, right?
One of the best things you can do is call them out on it. They don’t want to make a scene, which is why they tend to work behind your back.
Well, don’t let them. Bring them out of the shadows and make them uncomfortable about their behaviour. It’s a great start to helping it sink in.
If you can, remove yourself from the situation and don’t engage with them. Face them, tell them what they did was wrong and call them out on it, then move on without a fight.
Don’t let them know the effect they had on you. This just gives them more satisfaction and motivates them once again the next time around.
In this instance, it’s better to be the bigger person and just walk away, no matter what the costs.
Then, keep your eyes wide open for their next attack.
After all, you just never know when it’s coming!
So, why are people so annoying?
The answer is simple, people are so annoying because almost all of them seem to possess one of these annoying personality traits. In other words, they’re annoying because they are simply utterly annoying.
Sadly, there’s not much you can do about it. It’s worth having a bit of a self-check in and make sure you aren’t exhibiting any of these traits yourself.
You don’t want to find out that some of your friends are feeling the same way about you! Then take a deep breath, read above how you can handle each trait, and take it from there.
Just remember, don’t let them get to you. Annoying people certainly aren’t worth your time and/or energy. That just makes them more annoying than ever if you give in to that.
Work out whether or not you really need that annoying person in your life, and if the answer is yes, then it’s time to find the right way to deal with them so they start to annoy you less and less. Over time, it may even start to feel like you have fewer annoying people in your life.
At least that’s the dream!
Until then, deep breaths.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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