10 surprising reasons you are dreaming about having a boyfriend (ultimate guide)

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So you’re single, but you keep finding yourself dreaming about having a boyfriend?

It might be more symbolic than you realize.

Here are 10 surprising reasons you might be dreaming about having a new guy in your life.

1) You have a desire for more social interaction 

Dreaming about having a boyfriend could signify that you’re longing for more social interaction in your waking life. 

Your subconscious might have landed on a place of thinking it’s a boyfriend you’re seeking as you’re longing for more company. However, it actually might be that you’re simply longing for more interaction from humans in general.

Ask yourself: have I been feeling a bit isolated lately?

Get to the core of how you’re feeling by reflecting on what your social life looks like.

For example, think about some different questions including:

  • How much time do I spend with like-minded people?
  • Do I have a group of friends I care about?
  • Do I truly feel valued by the friends in my life?
  • Do I wish I had more friends around?

If you don’t feel valued, you wish you had more friends around and you don’t spend much time around like-minded people, it could be making you feel isolated and triggering this sort of dream.

This is what happened to me when I was feeling at my most isolated.

People say cities can be isolating and I experienced this first-hand. I moved to New York in the midst of winter a few years ago, I didn’t know anybody and I found the trope that New Yorkers are rude to be true. 

I lived in a tiny, run down flat and my neighbors weren’t interested in getting to know me. They would often avoid eye contact with me in the hallways.

I had never felt more alone in the world – even though I was in a city of millions!

It was during this time that I started to have vivid dreams about being wildly in love with someone and going on adventures together.

In my dreams, we spent weeks exploring beautiful tropical islands and laughing together in the sun. We enjoyed long days together and just being in each other’s company.

After I’d wake from these dreams, I’d find myself feeling a little more content and a little less alone in the world. 

Of course, my reality would dawn on me in the minutes after waking. But I still enjoyed those few waking moments.

As I spent more time in the city and my social circle grew, I naturally stopped feeling so isolated.

What’s more, I noticed my dreams about this imaginary boyfriend had subsided.

2) You have a desire for affection in your life

In addition to just feeling plain lonely in your waking life, dreaming of a boyfriend might come about because you have a desire for affection.

Simply put, you want to feel liked by others; you want other people to care about you. It’s natural to feel like this!

What’s more, love can be seen as a deep affection, so you might even be craving love from others.

Ask yourself: has something happened in my life that’s made me feel less than loved or cared for? 

For example, have you been cast aside by people without an explanation and made to feel like you’re not cared about.

This could have been triggering enough to make you feel like you’re not cared about.

It happened to me.

In my experience, when a group of friends dropped contact with me and never, ever explained why, I went through a period of feeling so bad about myself and just craving to be liked.

I didn’t ask them why they did it, but instead I just tried to work out what about me they possibly could have been so offended by.

I had been on holiday with this group of people twice and started to form deep friendships, but then they just decided I wasn’t their kind of person anymore. It felt like it happened overnight and it was without an explanation.

This event affected both my waking and sleeping life: I found myself longing to be loved and cared for by new people in my waking life, and, as I slept, I found myself fantasizing about having a mystery boyfriend.

He gave me all of the affection and care I was craving.

 What does this mean for you?

If you’re wondering why you’re suddenly dreaming about having a boyfriend, it might be because of your longing to be cared for by others. 

Think about whether something has happened to you to make you feel less than cared for – it might just be the root cause.

3) Big changes are about to take place in your life

Dreaming of spending time with someone new – and who you’ve never met in real life – could be symbolic of the changes that are about to take place in your life.

This change doesn’t necessarily include a boyfriend, but seeing this new figure could be symbolic of something new that’s incoming.

Having visions of someone in your dreams could suggest big changes are on the horizon.

Maybe you’ve been feeling a little lackluster in life, or maybe even a bit directionless, and you’ve been thinking about how you want something new and exciting to come about.

Your subconscious may have gone straight to a boyfriend, but it doesn’t have to mean that.

The change could be a move to a different location, pursuing a new industry and career or taking up a new hobby.

This was the case for a friend of mine: when she was feeling like her life sucked and things were boring, she would dream about having a boyfriend.

It’s similar to what I experienced when I was feeling lonely in New York.

She was yearning for things to be different and, so, this manifested as having a boyfriend in her dream state.

What does this mean for you?

If you’ve not been thinking about wanting a boyfriend and you’ve been enjoying your life as a singleton, don’t take this dream too literally. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to prepare for someone unexpected to enter your life, but instead you could take this dream as an indication that cool, exciting changes are coming up for you.

Now, it’s up to you to make these a reality.

4) You’re feeling insecure about your relationship status

Maybe you’ve been single for a while, but you actually would like to be in a romantic relationship with Mr. Right.

Not only feeling like it’s time to meet someone, you might feel like there are pressures that are being put on you by friends and family.

This can be due to your age, and whether people around you are all in couples and even getting married.

The societal pressure of a relationship equating to success might be influencing the thoughts of your friends and family around you, and even causing you to feel like you’re not where other people are.

For example, a friend of mine started dreaming about having a boyfriend around the time that her parents started questioning when she was going to ‘settle down’. 

She was in her early thirties, crushing it in her career and surrounded by great friends, but the focus always went to when she was going to meet someone.

She explained that it dominated conversations at birthdays and holidays spent with her family. Everyone from her mum to aunt and siblings would ask her.

It made her feel really insecure and like something was wrong with her for not being in a committed relationship.

But, the truth is, she could get a guy if she wanted – she was just choosy about the kind of guy she wanted to be with.

Regardless, it caused her to start feeling insecure about her relationship status and like something was up with her.

To deal with these emotions, it came up as a theme in her conversations with friends more than it had in the past.

In other words, it was at the front of her mind. Because of this, it’s possible that this insecurity manifested as imagining her life with Mr. Right in her dreams.

So, if you’re in a similar place, where people are constantly asking you when you’re going to meet someone, it’s possible that these pressures are causing you to start fantasizing about a boyfriend at night.

5) You’re longing for someone to show interest 

In your dreams, does this boyfriend you’ve been imagining show real interest in you?

Maybe he listens to all of your thoughts and feelings, and holds space for you in a way that other people in your waking life don’t?

Do you have great, deep conversations, where you feel he just truly gets you? Does he tell you that you’re great at what you do and celebrate you?

If your subconscious is taking you to these places, it could be because you’re just desperate for people in your waking life to show some interest in you.

…And I don’t only mean romantically.

You could be wanting friends, family or people in the workplace to show the interest in you that you deserve.

For example, you might be wishing for people in your industry to show interest in who you are and what you can offer, but it’s just not happening.

You might feel like you’re good at what you do having mastered your craft over 10 years, but like no one is recognizing you professionally and giving you the opportunities you think you deserve. 

You could feel like you’re not seen in your waking life because you’ve found it difficult trying to land a job in your industry, despite having the experience and skills you have.

Now, if you had the recognition you felt like you deserved in your waking life, there’s a chance you wouldn’t be seeking someone to symbolically validate you in your dreams.

6) It’s a vision of what’s to come

Another reason for dreaming about having a boyfriend could be that you’re tuning into your future vision.

You might be connecting with the energy of your twin flame in your dreams, and find yourself longing for this person when you first wake.

You see, before twin flames meet in their waking life, there is a yearning process that two people go through, including the motions of knowing someone is out there.

It happens in dreams too.

So, if you’re dreaming about having a boyfriend, it could be that you’re actually connecting to your twin flame in your sleep. 

To know whether it could be your twin flame that you’re ready to meet, ask yourself: do you feel like you have a void in your life that you need to fill? Like something feels incomplete? 

These are all indications that your soul is crying out to meet its twin.

In your waking life, put yourself out there so you have a higher chance of meeting your twin flame. 

For example, start a new course, join a new club and even join a dating app. 

The dreams about your twin flame will likely continue right up until the moment you two do eventually meet. 

7) You’ve not let go of your ex-boyfriend

A reason for dreaming about having a boyfriend, which you might not like to consider, is that you’ve not fully let go of your ex

So, even if it’s not their face you’re seeing in your dreams, dreaming of a boyfriend could symbolically represent them. 

I know, it’s not what you wanted to hear. No one wants to confront the idea that their subconscious is filled with thoughts of their ex.

You might have felt like you’ve healed the breakup, but remember that healing isn’t linear. The journey to getting over your ex-partner isn’t straightforward. 

One day you might feel like you’re all good and thriving without them; the next you might find your mind wandering to thoughts about what they’re doing and who they’re with.

This definitely is what happened to me post-breakup.

It really doesn’t matter if you two were together for five months or five years, a person can have a lasting effect on us and continue to crop up in our thoughts long after they’re out of the picture.

…And appear in our dreams as someone else.

Simply put, dreaming of having a boyfriend could mean that you’ve still got unresolved issues with your ex and you’re lacking closure.

In other words, you’re still holding on to them.

On some level, you might have wished that you two could have had a conversation about what happened to have got more closure on the situation; you might be angry that the breakup happened in the way it did or in denial about what went down.

One way to try and put an end to these dreams, where you’re symbolically seeing him, is to actually have a conversation with him. Seek to find that closure through a conversation.

In my experience, it’s never as bad or painful as you’ve likely been imagining.

8) You’re preparing to get into a relationship

Now, this is a thought you might be more inclined to get on board with.

It’s suggested that if you’re having dreams about a boyfriend being in your life, it can mean that you’re starting to prepare for what’s to come.

Maybe you’ve been single for some time and you’re feeling like it’s time to embrace a new relationship. 

Suddenly, in your waking life you’ve started noticing couples around you and thinking that you want what they have, or maybe you’ve started watching more rom-coms and fantasizing about you being the person that falls in love.

If you’ve been having these thoughts in your waking life, there’s a chance that your dreams are an extension of these thoughts.

You might be preparing for what it would actually be like to have a relationship.

Take note of what sort of thoughts you’re having surrounding your boyfriend in this dream and the situations you’re finding yourself in.

In your waking life, think about the ways that you can start to actually accommodate a boyfriend in your life.

For example, do you even have the time to have a boyfriend? If you don’t, start making space so you could, in theory, have a boyfriend.

You could clear a day or two in your calendar, so you would have the time to commit to a guy and start to develop a relationship.

In doing so, you’ll be sending a strong message to the universe that you’re actually ready to welcome in a boyfriend.

9) You’re feeling worthy

It’s possible that your dream about having a boyfriend is symbolic of your feelings of worthiness.

Let me explain…

It could be that your projection of an imaginary boyfriend symbolizes that you have strong feelings of being worthy of love and that you love yourself.

If this is the case, then it’s a great place to be and you should keep up with the self-love.

We should all be inspired to live in an empowered place of being worthy of love.

Truth is, we are all worthy of love.

Even if you’ve been single for a long time, your dreams about having a boyfriend might remind you that you are worthy of having a strong, intimate connection with someone…

…And that it will happen when the time is right.

Take it as your cue to trust the process of love; when you’re ready to meet Mr. Right, you almost certainly will! 

10) It’s symbolic that help is on its way

Have you been in a tricky situation recently? I don’t mean have done something illegal, but has your mind been in knots over something?

Maybe you’ve been deliberating over a situation and thinking about which way to turn in life, and you’re seeking answers. 

Ask yourself: have you been going back and forth over something and fretting more than usual?

You might have put out to the universe that you need some help – some clarity – about what to do in life and, well, this dream if your answer.

You see, dreaming about having a boyfriend, as you now know, doesn’t have to be taken so literally. It could symbolize that help is on its way to you.

… Especially if your boyfriend in the dream is particularly soothing and loving, and saying all of the right things you want to hear.

Essentially, this dream about having a boyfriend could be the universe’s way of saying: things are going to be alright and your situation will be resolved.  

You can take it as a cue to relax and breathe. 

 What’s more, it could signal that someone is coming to help you in your waking life to resolve your current situation.

Depending on your situation, it could be a friend, a financial advisor, a mentor or so on.

Ultimately, this dream could be symbolizing that you’ll be getting the help you need. Just hold tight!

The Secret to a Better Life?

Hi. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.

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You see, I’ve been there too.

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Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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