You’ve found the person who makes you happy, and now you want to spend the rest of your days with them.
There are some powerful things that happen when you commit to spending your life together. Some of these things might surprise you.
Here are 19 things that happen when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone
1) You feel secure
When you first start dating someone, it can be a little scary. You have no idea what’s going on in their mind, or how they really feel about you.
By the time you realize that you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with someone, you feel totally secure in the relationship.
You don’t have doubts or question marks about where this is going. You’re on the same page. You are both committed to this partnership.
You know that this is not a short-term thing. You feel confident that it is for the long haul and that your significant other feels the same way.
2) You start planning for your future together
Once you realize you want to commit to spending the rest of your lives together, you start thinking about what kind of life you’d like to create.
This is an important step because you are sowing the seeds of the future you will share.
You’re not only daydreaming about big events — like marriage, children, moving in together, or travel — you’re discussing them too.
Having open and frank conversations about the future is a big sign in any relationship that you are both on the same page.
You’re no longer making plans for the immediate future, you’re considering and discussing years from now.
3) You act like a team
As soon as you realize you want to be with this person forever, you start acting more like a couple than two individuals.
You talk in “we” and “us” rather than “me” and “I”. You begin to think about the future as one unit instead of yourself and your partner.
You’re on the same side. You are working towards the same things. You are helping each other achieve your goals.
It may even feel like it’s you two against the world.
Rather than tear each other down (like some couples can be guilty of) you are there to lift each other up.
You praise each other, celebrate one another and have each other’s backs. Their wins are your wins and vice versa — because you are a team.
4) Your priorities shift
Once you realize you are serious about spending the rest of your lives together, your priorities change.
Your focus shifts away from self-centeredness and selfishness. Instead, you become much more concerned with each other’s needs too.
You care about the other person’s happiness. You are prepared to leave behind certain things for the sake of your relationship.
Maybe you were a party animal, but now you genuinely love to stay home. Perhaps you were a workaholic, but all of a sudden family life feels more important.
Your relationship doesn’t take a back seat in your life, instead, it is one of your main priorities.
5) You feel like you’ve met “the one”
The power of gut instinct should never be underestimated.
A lot of people report knowing very early that they have met the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
You may not be able to explain it, but your intuition tells you that this is it. You just get a deep sense that they are your soulmate.
Our gut gives us big clues when we meet the one, but of course, it’s not always the clearest of signs to read.
But what if there was a way to remove all the guesswork?
I’ve just stumbled upon a way to do this…a professional psychic artist who can draw a sketch of what your soulmate looks like.
Even though I was a bit skeptical at first, my friend convinced me to try it out a few weeks ago.
Now I know exactly what he looks like. The crazy thing is that I recognized him right away.
If you’re ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.
6) You’re prepared to put in the work
The reality is that relationships take plenty of work.
There is a bit of a myth that love should run smoothly when you’re with the right person.
But the relationships that go the distance are the ones that are ultimately the most committed. They aren’t throwing in the towel at the first sign of trouble.
So when you realize you’ve met the person you are ready to spend the rest of your life with you want to work through your challenges together.
You don’t expect perfection or instant gratification.
Instead, you’re willing to make sacrifices and commit to putting in the effort required to build a lasting relationship.
Through the tough times that life throws at you, your sheer willpower to make it work becomes the glue that holds you together.
7) You start looking for ways to deepen your connection
When you meet the person you want to spend your life with, you want to continue deepening your connection.
You want to keep exploring new things together. You want to learn new things together. And you want to grow as individuals so you can bring out the best in each other.
Once you realize you’ve found the person you want to build a life with, you want to explore how you can strengthen your bond even further.
So you look for opportunities to connect on deeper levels.
You might explore activities together, try out new hobbies, go new places, and have adventures together.
Whatever it is, you want to find something that brings you closer together.
Because once you realize you’ve found “the one”, you want to keep growing your relationship.
8) You open yourself up to them
When you meet the person you are ready for a long-term commitment with, you want to create an environment where you can share your deepest thoughts and feelings with them.
You want to be able to talk about anything without worrying about hurting their feelings. You want to be able to express yourself honestly and openly.
It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about — the big things and the small — you want to be able to open up to your partner because you trust them completely.
You understand that they deserve honesty from you. You don’t feel like you have to hold back or keep parts of yourself hidden. You feel seen and accepted for who you are.
Once you realize that you’ve found the person who will become your life partner, you want to open up to them.
9) You’ve found your best friend
The best relationships aren’t all about romance. They are usually built on the solid foundations of friendship.
You can laugh, play, and have fun together — just like friends would.
Chemistry can fade or come and go within any romantic relationship. That’s when couples fall back on the steady ground of the friendship they have cultivated.
Spending the rest of your life with someone is less about fireworks and more about stability.
You may enjoy candlelit dinners and picnics in the park. But this is also the person you want to cuddle up on the couch with. The person who you are happy to hang out in your sweatpants and eat pizza with.
They are not only your lover, but they are also your best friend too.
10) You are prepared to compromise
If you’ve been together for a while, then you know that there are going to be times when you disagree or argue.
But you’re committed to making your relationship work. So you do whatever it takes to resolve conflicts and move forward.
That means finding a compromise.
When you realize you want to be with this person for the rest of your life you are less concerned with always getting your own way, and more concerned about making sure both your needs are met.
You are willing to make sacrifices, compromises, and concessions if it means you’ll be happier together.
And it doesn’t feel heavy to do so. You want to sacrifice for this person because you know they are worth it.
11) You accept each other’s flaws
You become more aware of each other’s strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and you learn to respect one another.
You appreciate how different you are as individuals and you learn to live with those differences.
You accept that your partner has flaws and imperfections. And you love them anyway.
You don’t see them as a “project” or someone to fix up however you want them. You value them for exactly who they already are.
That means accepting them warts and all.
It means being okay with the fact that they might not always say the right thing at the right time. It means understanding that they sometimes get angry or upset.
And it means knowing that even though they are only human, they are still perfect for you.
12) You understand each other
You know what makes them tick. They understand you on a deep level. You don’t even need to use words sometimes, because they simply “get you”.
You know their moods and how they react to certain situations. You know what makes them smile and cry. You know what makes their heart race.
It’s almost like you can read each other’s minds.
You know what they think before they say anything. You know what they mean without having to ask.
You know what they really want from life. You know what they want from you.
This isn’t magic, you have cultivated a strong understanding of each other through communication, sharing, and honesty.
You both talk and listen to one another. And you have come to understand one another so well that you feel like you know everything about each other.
13) You want the same things
Potentially controversial statement, but:
Love alone isn’t enough to spend the rest of your life with someone.
You have to be heading in the same direction. You have to value and want the same things in life.
Otherwise, you won’t be able to build a solid foundation for your future.
When you realize you are ready to spend the rest of your life with someone, you already know that you are walking the same path in life.
It’s easy for couples to grow apart. Wanting the same things is what ties you together.
That may be to travel the world together and build successful careers. It could be to get married and start a family.
Whatever your goals, they complement each other.
14) You are ready to take risks
Love is always going to be a gamble.
You can never predict the future and putting your heart on the line can feel super scary.
In fact, some people remain emotionally unavailable as a defense against the potential pitfalls that can come with putting yourself out there.
But when you meet the one you are ready to commit to, you are prepared to take that risk.
You are ready for the adventure that love brings, even if it means heartache at times.
You cannot help yourself. You want to take the plunge and dive right in.
Because you know there is no walking away from this. You’ve met the person who makes all that risk worth it. You’ve met the person you want to be with for the rest of your days.
15) You want to build a home together
When you realize you can’t imagine spending the rest of your life without someone, you want to create a home together.
A place where you both belong. A place where you can relax and unwind after a long day.
A place where you can share all of your stories, dreams, and hopes. You want to come back here whenever you need to escape from the world.
You want to feel safe and protected. You want to be able to call this place together “home”.
16) Your friends and family approve
We might believe that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of our partners but us.
But the reality is that none of us is an island. We share our lives with many people and have other significant bonds than just our romantic partner.
In fact, research has shown that network support for a romantic relationship usually plays a crucial role in the relationship’s success.
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, they most likely fit into your life.
Your family loves them too. Your friends think they are amazing. You have their support and blessing.
17) You’re not afraid to show your true self
If you are scared to express how you really feel, then you will never find the love you deserve.
That’s why when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you have let go of your inhibitions.
You have decided to be vulnerable. And by doing so, you have given yourself permission to be exactly who you are around them.
They make you feel proud of who you are. They make you feel enough. You are comfortable being seen.
You aren’t preoccupied with trying to impress, you are brave enough to show your true colors.
18) You want to grow old with them
When you realize you are ready to commit for the rest of your lives, you want to grow old with your partner.
You want to experience the best years of your life together.
You want to celebrate every milestone together. You want to laugh and cry together through the good times and the hard ones too.
Your vision for being together doesn’t just include the now. You picture yourself aging with them. And rather than freak you out, it fills you with comfort and joy.
You are ready to let your love grow and change through the different stages of your lives, with them by your side.
19) You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
These are the words of Harry when he finally realized his feelings for Sally in the iconic 80’s movie ‘When Harry Met Sally‘.
When you know it’s right, and when you see your future with someone — you don’t want to waste a single moment.
You don’t need more time to think about whether this is the right thing for you. You don’t want to wait until the timing is better.
You want to be with this person now. You want to start experiencing the rest of your lives together, starting today.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.