Eye contact during sex can be an incredible, powerful form of intimacy. It’s hot, sexy, and can make you both feel connected during the whole ride in the sack.
Yet sometimes, it can be a source of confusion. You may find yourself asking, “Is strong eye contact a sign of love or lust?”
How do you know if what you have isn’t just plain physical attraction?
In this article, we’ll talk about the possible meanings behind your partner’s intense gazes during the act, as well as other signs that tell he’s seeing you because he’s so into you, not only because he wants to get into you.
It’s in the gaze
“Eye contact: how souls catch fire.”
— Yahia Lababidi
There you were: music on, clothes off, the room filled with intense arousal and heavy breathing, and your partner stares at you with dark, needy eyes.
You know a steamy moment is about to unfold.
His eyes may be telling you a million things: how sexy and desirable you are and that you aren’t just “having sex” — that your souls are binding together to form a deep connection.
Everything is just in its rightful place.
They say the eyes are always honest but what’s the real deal behind his intense gazing during intercourse?
Here’s what science tells us
Some studies say intense eye contact can heat things up and increase sexual arousal. Prolonged eye contact makes people feel more aroused and confident in themselves.
It also intensifies feelings of vulnerability, which may sound too mushy at first, but is actually a good thing when you think about it.
In fact, Dr. Daniel Sher, a clinical psychologist based at Between Us Clinic, even recommends eye contact to his clients who suffer from sexual issues and dysfunction. According to him:
“Eye contact can be arousing because it allows for a connection which is authentic and emotional. Neurological research has suggested that eye contact plays an important role in allowing two people to get a sense of one another’s emotional and mental states.
In other words, eye contact allows us to transcend tendencies toward objectification and connect with our partner in a deeper, more authentic and intimate way.”
Another study shows that prolonged eye contact releases oxytocin, the love hormone, which doubles the euphoric feeling.
Imagine going down on your man while gazing intently into each other’s eyes. It just doubles the fun and love!
Eye contact during the act boosts his drive to give you a pleasurable time in bed, which is a total turn-on for most guys. So, more eye contact means more of that euphoric feeling!
When eye contact can mean something good
When your partner locks eyes with you, it may mean that he is becoming obsessed with you.
It’s like any intense romantic movie where the camera focuses on a couple while staring deep into each other’s eyes, realizing that they’re in love.
A daring gaze paired with a lingering smile may mean he’s really into you, and that for him, your relationship goes beyond the physical aspects.
Eye contact during sex also means your man is oozing with confidence and would love to watch you see how you react to what he’s doing. Perhaps it’s about the way you react to his moves that turns him on.
When eye contact can mean something bad
For many people, eye contact during sex can intensify the moment many times over.
However, it can be intimidating and overwhelming for some people because it makes them feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.
Constant eye contact is not always a good sign. Sometimes, it can mean that he’s trying to manipulate you.
If your partner intensely gazes at you while continuously suggesting things he wants you to do for him, chances are the act is just another play for him. This is a clear sign that he only lusts you.
Another reason is that your man may be dealing with some anger management issues.
If his intense stare feels like piercing through you, there’s a slight chance that he’s directing his pent-up aggression to you.
Let your eyes speak
The good thing is, eye contact is more positive than destructive to your sex life. With this simple move, you can take your sexual chemistry to the next level.
But the thing is, exposing yourself to this certain level of intimacy can be scary, but according to Ellen Eatough, a sex coach, “allowing it, rather than avoiding it, can also be very bonding.”
Here are some small steps which could start doing to build a powerful connection during sex:
- When initiating sex, stare intently and sexily towards your partner’s eyes. Notice how this would immediately shift the mood in the room!
- Shoot quick bursts of intimate eye contact, then slowly shoot longer looks. For instance, you can start with 2-second glances then increase to 5-second stares. Feel sexy and confident to ace that killer stare.
- Take slow, deep breaths when staring at your partner. This will help shake off anxiety and boost your confidence. You’re sexy and wanted. Own it!
- Initiate intimate eye contact while caressing your man in between short breaks.
Other signs that tell it’s love and not only lust
Are you still unsure about what your man feels for you when you’re having fun in bed together?
Here’s one tip: Keep an eye on his body language and habits.
His actions, moves, and words will tell a lot about his true feelings for you. Here are some signs he’s making love to you:
1) He loves planting sweet, tender kisses
A man who’s extremely smitten towards you, your body, and quirks will make you feel desired.
Slowly, with his tender movements, he’s trying to demonstrate his gentle side — like a fine gentleman who’ll treat you with respect than do you dirty in bed.
Be careful not to misinterpret the lack of interest—you know, it’s not only women who face bedroom fears. He might be too anxious that he will fail to satisfy you.
So, chill and savor the slow, heated moment — you’ll get to the wild side in no time!
2) He loves vanilla sex
If your man is not shy to do it the regular way, then it’s a sign that he’s a faithful, stable, and reliable partner.
The conventional position (aka missionary, just in case you missed it) can be likened to a good conversation — an exchange of interesting thoughts and ideas that you both enjoy and benefit from.
Just like when having a great conversation, doing the missionary is like feeding each other great ideas, but physically: with your man in the power position while you gaze into each other’s eyes, share passionate kisses, and caress each other.
If your man doesn’t shy away from conventional habits, then he probably wants to have a steady relationship with you.
3) He feels like your hero
When you’re having sex, he wants to be your hero — the one who will protect you, hold you tight, and satisfy you with his every more.
Men have a constant thirst for assurance and admiration.
Among other things, they want to step up their plate for their women because it’s ingrained in their DNA to seek relationships that make them providers.
If he holds you dearly during the act, chances are he’s making love to you.
Make a man feel like your hero. It’s his drug. Empower him, boost his confidence, and best believe he’s going to crave your love more.
4) He loves giving you back massage
Everyone loves a good back massage. But a man who’s deeply in love with a woman enjoys giving a pleasurable massage rather than being on the receiving end.
Say you enjoy receiving sensual massages but no one enjoys it the most than your man does. +
He’s turning himself on by adoring and caressing your whole body, all the while making you feel good. A no-brainer way to start a hot and steamy session, indeed.
5) He enjoys spooning
When your man starts spooning you and pressing your back onto his chest so you can feel his ragged breaths and hear his whispers, chances are he’s connecting with you more than the physical level.
Another thing about a guy who loves being the big spoon is he loves intimacy and being the protector in the relationship. It shows that he’s confident but a tad bit possessive.
And we think that’s a clear sign that he wants to protect and cherish you even after sex.
6) He is considerate and patient
There’s obviously a fine line between making love and having sex.
If your man is all about plain, rough-fucking, and dirty endearments, it’s no question that he’s just after a pleasurable sexual experience with you.
But when he listens to your needs, takes them into consideration, and provides them for you? There’s no need to be confused if it’s an act of love or lust.
It’s 100% love.
7) He is polite in and out of the bed
Kind and polite men often make the best relationship partners because they put you first before anything else. But it can be quite confusing to figure out whether he’s just being nice or attracted to you.
Here’s a mental note:
Observe if your man pays attention when you talk or if he invites you to hang out with him other than in bed. If not, then it’s best to cut him out of your life (or he can go screw himself).
However, if he’s a considerate partner in bed, he’s likely going to be a kind long-term partner.
Sex is a normal and exciting element of life, and if you’re lucky to find someone who rocks your world and heart at the same time, don’t let go of him.
8) He engages in meaningful foreplay
Yes, foreplay is important and it feels great, but it goes deeper than that.
If you feel like your man is doing foreplay for the sake of it, then he’s not probably making love to you.
But when your guy genuinely shows that he’s enjoying every second and moment of foreplay? And he takes his time to caress you and kiss every inch of you?
For sure, he’s making love to you. It’s not just physical attraction; you best bet he adores every inch of your body because he’s already fallen head over heels over you.
9) He makes you feel more vulnerable
Probably the most obvious sign of all is when you feel he’s sheltering your vulnerability.
Having sex may sometimes feel forced. And while making love necessarily involves having sex, your vulnerability level will go overdrive.
You and your man will start sharing thoughts and feelings you didn’t share before. And you’ll be surprised if his eyes or yours well up a bit.
After all, it’s all part of the love-making session.
Sure, sex is great, but we’re sure that it’s even greater when it feels freeing and secure.
The bottom line
There are a lot of freaky, amazing things that happen in the bedroom with him.
He can even be possibly the best sex of your life. And that fact alone is enough to get your hopes up that you’re in love with one another rather than in lust.
But come to think of it: he knows your favorite sexual position but he doesn’t know your favorite food.
He knows how to seduce you with his intense gazes but he can’t look past your physical features and into your heart.
Your man knows every inch of you but he has no idea about your favorite songs.
Besides knowing how your partner feels toward you, it’s also important to assess your feelings. Take a step back and reassess yourself.
If you’re genuinely fine with a casual fling, then just live in the moment.
However, if you know you’ve fallen for your sexual partner, try not to let your emotions get the best of you.
If you and your partner aren’t on the same page and unsure about your overall relationship status, be honest and open about what you feel is never a bad idea. It may help clear things out with him.
Who knows, your relationship may thrive beyond sexual connection?
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