in ,

What it means when a man looks at you with desire

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

I was at a bar during my late 20s when I came across a man, who, to say the least, was looking at me with red-hot passion.

Looking back, it got me thinking: what does it mean?

Well, according to my research, here are the 12 possible reasons why a man looks at you with desire.

Newsflash: some of them are pretty surprising!

1) He’s sexually attracted to you

I’ve got to say, this answer is pretty obvious. The eyes, after all, are the window to the soul.

And, if you catch a guy focusing more on your body – after starting at your face – then it’s a clear sign of his sexual attraction.

This claim is actually based on Science.

According to a University of Chicago report, researchers have noted that “Eye patterns concentrate on a stranger’s face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love.”

But, “if the viewer gazes more at the other person’s body, he or she is feeling sexual desire.”

Whether or not he plans to do something about this ‘tension’ is another thing, which leads me to meaning #2…

2) You’ll be the star of his next fantasy

Some men won’t necessarily come up to you – even after staring lustfully at you. Maybe it’s because they’re hitched, or they just can’t talk to women.

Then again, maybe they’re just content with having you star in his fantasies. After all, an article has shown that “the typical male thinks about sex almost twice as much as the average woman.”

And, according to this report, 72.5% of the respondents have expressed their desire to have sex with an unknown person.

See, he’s staring because he’s probably trying to take a mental picture of you. Freaky as it may seem, he’s maybe planning to use it for his ‘alone time’ later.

3) He wants to get ‘busy’ with you

Sexual attraction is one thing. But if he keeps on lustfully gazing at you, then he just may want to get down to business.

He’s trying to convey this desire by ‘eye f*cking’ you, which, according to author Mark Manson, is exactly what the moniker means.

He explains:

“Eye f*cking is the first level of eye contact that makes the leap from “interested/curious” to “they want to have sex with me.” Eye f*cking doesn’t withhold any intentions. It’s about as much interest as one can possibly display through eye contact alone.”

4) He wants to arouse you

According to a Psychology Today article by Ronald Riggio, Ph.D., “Staring directly into someone’s eyes causes an arousal reaction.”

So if your crush, boyfriend, or spouse is looking at you with red-hot desire, it’s because he’s sending you a sexual invitation.

He wants to get all up in your business!

And yes, it goes without saying that arousing you will work to his advantage. You get excited and ‘slippery,’ among many other things.

The question is, will you let him get through to you?

5) He’s trying to look interesting

Perhaps this guy wasn’t compelling enough to get a second look. So now, he’s looking at you with a red-hot desire to make himself look more interesting.

Quoting the same Psychology Today article from above, “When we are interested in something or someone, our pupils will dilate.”

In fact, one study had altered a woman’s eyes “to make her pupils look dilated. The exact same photos of the woman with dilated eyes were rated as more attractive than those with normal-size pupils.”

So, you know, maybe the second time’s the charm?

6) He wants to get your attention

If he’s staring lustfully at you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to get all up in your business.

He may be doing it in hopes of catching your attention.

After all, “studies suggest that direct gaze is attention-grabbing.”

I mean, I get it. You feel so uncomfortable with his stare that you can’t help but pay attention to him.

You may berate him for doing so, but in his mind, any type of attention (just like publicity) – good or bad – is worth his while.

7) He thinks it’ll flatter you

We ladies like being flattered, even though we’ll do our best to hide it. Unfortunately, some men think that staring is a good way to flatter you.

Heck, they even think that it’ll help them get into your pants.

And, in case you let him, there’s no telling if he’ll continue to use this flattery for more nefarious purposes.

As psychologist Jason Whiting, Ph.D. has remarked in his Psychology Today article:

“Flattery can also be dangerous… (It can also be) used to gain or control.

It is effective because everyone has insecurities and loves to be told great things about themselves.”

Be careful, for it “is particularly common during dating and in new relationships,” adds Whiting.

Sadly, it “usually wears off as relationships settle into commitment and reality.”

8) He’s daydreaming

This man knows that he can look – but not touch. That said, the next best thing he can do is stare at you lustfully – and daydream about you.

Similar to being the star of his solo fantasy, he’s leering at you because he’s already daydreaming about you.

And this doesn’t always necessarily point to a sexual context. He could be dreaming about something, it’s just that you’re in his general direction.

And, in case it does get sexual, it’ll probably show in his pants.

I say, don’t discount the fact that maybe, he’s the romantic kind. Who knows? He could be dreaming about being your knight in shining armor.

9) He doesn’t even know he’s doing it

While most men would consciously stare at a beautiful woman like you, some don’t even know they’re doing it.

Explains a Quora poster who’s seen many comrades do it:

“Very often I have seen men not realize that they are staring at a beautiful woman…

They don’t realize they are being completely obvious about it and that it might be making that individual uncomfortable.

Usually, when you point it out, they have a polite response or an apologetic one – or one of surprise because they didn’t realize they were doing it.”

In all honesty, they may even be “unaware that someone else was watching them.”

10) He wants you to fear him

As I’ve mentioned, a lustful stare may cause arousal on your part. But that’s not always the case!

This is especially true if you’re “being stared at by a stranger who appears large or ominous.”

According to Riggio, the stare “can be seen as a threat and elicit a fear response.”

Personally speaking, this was what I felt when this guy was gazing at me!

Unfortunately, some guys get a kick out of this because they “enjoy gaining dominance over others through fear,” remarked one Quora poster.

“This makes them feel empowered and gives them a sense of being powerful and having strength. However, this is a false sense of security, for these individuals do not recognize this.

“To them, establishing dominance over others through fear, makes them feel secure.”

11) He’s perverted

Some men would rather be caught dead than to be caught staring at you. But perverts, man, they’ll just continue leering at you.

You know what I mean. It’s as if he’s undressing you with his very eyes.

And, to make matters worse, he may even try to:

  • Compliment you in a sexual way
  • Touch you inappropriately
  • Talk about sex
  • Send pictures of his private part
  • Flash his ‘John’

That being said, be careful my dear!

12) He’s probably nuts

Although it seems like it, he may not be looking at you with desire. It’s possible that he’s just gone nuts.

This is what Manson describes as ‘the crazies,’ which, again, is pretty self-explanatory.

According to the author, “the Crazies signify delusion, hopeless emotion, and the complete loss of a grip on reality.”

“Most of those who have seen the depths, looked into the eyes and seen the true amorous insanity behind them, like any true veteran, prefer to keep the pain and horror stowed away in their hearts, not to see the light of day.”

To this, I say, just keep walking and don’t look back!

Final thoughts

There are many reasons why a man would look at you with desire. And while you may automatically think that it’s a sexual thing, it could be something else.

So if you want to be 100% sure – and end up destroying any relationship potential – I recommend consulting with a gifted advisor over at Psychic Source.

They could answer all of your questions, especially if you don’t know why he’s looking at you with desire.

See, I reached out to them earlier.

I’ve had a great experience, especially with my advisor who’s so thoughtful and kind.

It didn’t feel like a session, for it felt like I was talking to a friend who was giving me pretty usable advice.

Psychic Source advisors can answer virtually anything you throw at them. So if you find yourself at a mental dead-end, I suggest getting your own reading today.

Click here to get started.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

10 possible reasons he is flirting with you when he has a girlfriend

28 ways to tell him you miss him without being clingy