The modern dating world involves a great deal of pretending when it comes to the sincerity of feelings.
Luckily for you, you can still use a few ways to tell whether someone actually likes you…
Or is just putting on a show (probably just to get into your pants.)
It all boils down to actions, ladies (and gents).
A man can say all the right things and sweet talk his way into your affection, but without backing it up, it’s all talk no action.
But when a man is genuinely into you, let me tell you now – it’s a whole different story.
You won’t be left with any doubts or questions.
In fact, once you’re aware of the 8 behaviors below, you’ll be able to tell for certain whether or not he’s as interested and committed as he makes out.
1) He actually listens
We place a great deal of focus on how important communication is in any relationship; romantic or otherwise.
But communication is a two way street.
You can talk at someone ‘til the cows come home, but if they’re not actually bothering to listen to you, nor trying to understand what you’re saying, how much communication is actually taking place?
Here’s where your everyday, run-of-the-mill man differs from someone who is genuinely interested in you.
Active listening is a clear sign of genuine interest, usually involving the following cues:
- Attentive listening
- Asking open-ended questions
- Paraphrasing points back to the speaker
- Maintaining eye contact
- Affirming body language such as nodding
- Not interrupting or prematurely voicing judgment
If the man in question is covering the above in conversation with you, it shows that he values your words and thoughts, and is a seasoned conversationalist.
What more could you want!
A less interested individual will nod along to your stories whilst thinking avidly about what’s for dinner, without really taking it in.
But a man who’s genuinely into you?
He pays attention to the little details, makes a mental note of them, and brings them up later to demonstrate his interest in your world.
Take that as a good sign that he’s both an emotionally intelligent and considerate individual, and genuinely into you.
2) Being included in his future planning
A couple of years back, I dated someone for whom I was head over heels. He seemed to have his whole life sorted, and oozed charm and class wherever he went.
He would regale me with tales of big mansions and sleek sports cars and summer trips down the Amalfi coast.
It took me a while to realize that nowhere in any of these fairytale futures was I mentioned…
Not even as a side character.
A man who is genuinely into you will envision you in that future.
He might set his sights high and aim for the stars, but he’ll have his hand stretched out ready and waiting to take you soaring up into the sky.
Whether slightly unrealistic but still dreamy visions, or boring necessities like budgeting and taxes, a man who shares his future plans and integrates you is demonstrating your importance to him.
3) You meet his inner circle
No mistresses or secret lovers here.
Quite the opposite – if he includes you in his inner circle and you get invited to meet his friends, his family, his dog, it’s a sign that he trusts you and wants you to be a part of his life.
You wouldn’t want your parents to meet just anyone now, would you?
Hence why if he’s eager for you to meet his close ones, it’s a great indication of his commitment.
4) He’s never too busy for you
We’re all busy.
We have jobs, friends, hobbies, and a multitude of other commitments vying for our attention.
Yet, when a man is genuinely into you, he’ll make you a priority and ensure that he finds time for you.
Even if he’s frantically busy, he’ll shoot you a text giving you a heads-up. And he’ll have no problem putting down his phone to set aside an entire day for you, either.
These gestures (when performed consistently) show how he constantly has you in the back of his mind, and values your relationship enough to carve out time from his schedule.
5) Your interests are his interests
Okay – he doesn’t have to be suddenly infatuated with knitting. Or cloudspotting. Or Tai Chi (whatever your passion.)
We all have our own unique hobbies and passions.
But when a man is genuinely into you, he’ll take interest in yours = even if they’re not his cup of tea.
In showing up and trying these things, he’s demonstrating that he values the things that make you happy, and wants to share them with you.
Let’s be real here: how many boyfriends would normally rock up to a pottery class at the weekend at the same time the football is on?
By showing an interest in your hobbies and passions, he’s showing an interest in you – which sounds like genuine interest to me!
6) You can count on his support
When you need reassurance and support, is he:
- There in an instant as your rock, anchor, support, and cheerleader. He celebrates your victories and picks you back up from whenever you slip and fall.
- Sneering from the sidelines, telling you that you were no good in the first place before promptly going back to watching TV.
For your sake, I sure hope it’s A!
Because this kind of unequivocal emotional support shows that he cares deeply for you.
It shows that he’s invested in your wellbeing and wants to help you navigate life’s ups and downs in whatever way he can.
This level of support isn’t something that springs up from a casual interest either, but is a sure sign of genuine affection and care.
7) Boundaries are always respected
There are few things worse than working on yourself and learning how to communicate your boundaries effectively, and still having someone trample all over them…
Because respecting boundaries is a critical part of any relationship.
When a man is genuinely into you, pushing your limits is out of the question.
He’ll understand and respect your need for personal space and time, without ever making you feel guilty about it.
Whether it’s understanding when you need some alone time, or not pressuring you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, respect for your boundaries shows that he values your feelings and your individuality.
It’s a sign that he cares about your comfort and wellbeing and strongly indicates that he’s genuinely into you.
8) Consistency in behavior
At the end of the day, all these behaviors are delightful to experience…
But they don’t count for much if they only happen as a once off.
If a man is genuinely into you, he’ll demonstrate love and respect towards you in every interaction – consistently.
Forget feeling like you mean nothing to him one minute, and that you’re his princess the next.
Instead, he’ll demonstrate the steadfast nature of his kindness and the dependability of his emotional support.
He’ll never make you feel like you have to work to earn his love, nor will he punish you for silly mistakes or his own temper.
No – a man who is genuinely interested in you will show this unwavering commitment and never leave you doubting his affection.
So if he consistently shows you this level of consistency, trust him.
There’s no doubt that he’s genuinely into you.
Authentic love in the real world
I know that distinguishing between genuine love and faked interest is harder nowadays.
Cheats fly under the radar and hide their behavior online, and social media launches campaign after campaign of either why your boyfriend is a manipulator, or how you can manipulate him…
But take a minute to step out of this web and remind yourself that honest and loving individuals do still exist.
You might have to kiss a few toads, but you’ll eventually stumble upon a Prince/Princess Charming who shows their genuine interest for you in all the tender ways listed above.
Just remember to look for authenticity when preparing to dive into the dating world. It’s tough out there, so avoid getting sidetracked by grand gestures or extravagant displays of affection.
Instead, remember that it’s consistent patterns of care, respect, and understanding that signify how much a person is genuinely into you, and it’s people who exhibit these traits who make for perfect partners.