Paul Brian
When a man cries it can be a surprising experience.
This is especially true if itโs in front of a woman.
Social conventions and gender roles tend to stereotype this as โweak,โ but the truth is that in some cases crying in front of a woman can be the strongest thing a man does.
Here are the top things it means if a guy does this.
1) He trusts her
First and foremost, a man is not going to cry in front of any woman he doesnโt trust.
If heโs shedding tears in front of a woman then he trusts her at a deep level.
The strength of their relationship or his knowledge that she will not consider him weak or flawed for crying allows him to let the tears flow.
Crying is an act of trust. Itโs hard to open up in front of someone and let them see you break.
This is especially true for a man to do in front of a woman, given the social conventions in most cultures which expect men to be emotionally resilient and less sensitive than women.
2) Heโs baring his soul to her
Tears can be authentic or performative, but crying in front of somebody is still a very intimate act.
If a man is crying in front of a woman then heโs baring his soul to her.
Heโs showing her himself at his most raw and unguarded level.
In short:
Heโs ripping off his masks and showing her the hurt inside.
What she does with that and his intentions in baring his soul, is a different question.
3) Heโs willing to be vulnerable in front of her
Crying is about the most vulnerable that any person can be, male or female.
One of the biggest things it means when a man cries in front of a woman is that heโs willing to be vulnerable.
This is an admission that he doesnโt have all the answers, that he may not be as strong as she thought, that heโs reached a real low that he doesnโt know how to come back from.
The tears may even be tears of joy or relief, but they are still very much vulnerable.
4) Heโs showing you how much she hurt him
If the tears are motivated by a problem between these two, then they can be a sign of how much heโs been hurt by her.
The tears are pouring out of him as an expression of pure pain.
This is the hurt and the emotional devastation coming out in liquid form.
Is it deserved or is he being a drama queen? That all depends on what has gone on between the two of them.
If this woman is his mother or sister then it may be a deeply personal family matter.
If this woman is his partner or an ex, then it may be romantic heartbreak, cheating or another difficulty like being in love but being long distance.
5) Heโs begging for forgiveness for how he hurt her
In some cases where a man is crying in front of a woman it can be because he knows he hurt her and wants to ask for forgiveness.
What did he do to need to ask for forgiveness? Itโs a question worth asking.
But for a reason which is emotionally compelling enough for him, heโs breaking down in tears and wanting to be forgiven for what heโs done.
In many cases, the sadness and open display of emotion may prompt a forgiveness, or it could be seen as manipulative.
If the tears are genuine, then itโs likely heโs trying to show her that heโs genuinely sorry and that heโs pleading with all his heart for another chance.
6) He feels she is being unfair to him
Ever since I was a child Iโve been very obsessed with justice.
Teachers said I would become very sad and angry about what I felt was โunfairโ or didnโt make sense.
I donโt necessarily only mean this in a good way, and I know this can be a fairly typical childhood concernโฆ
The sad truth is that life is often far from fair, and remaining set in childhood patterns of getting upset when injustice occurs.
Nonetheless, when we feel somebody is treating us unfairly it can be emotionally devastating.
This may be why heโs crying in front of a woman, when he feels that sheโs being truly unfair to him.
7) He doesnโt know where to go or what to do next
One of the things it means when a man cries in front of a woman is that he doesnโt know where to go or what to do next.
He may be out of options and the tears are a kind of silent cry for help.
The truth is that many cultures consider women to be natural leaders and more emotionally intelligent than men.
Even cultures I have lived in in the Middle East, for example, often delegate women many of the tougher behind-the-scenes responsibilities surrounding household finances, child-raising decisions, and more.
My point is that deep down men know that women sometimes have emotional stability and endurance they donโt have.
They may cry in front of a woman out of desperation and a recognition that they as a man arenโt as strong as theyโve been pretending or trying to be.
This can be a cry for help and also a recognition that the woman has answers he may not have.
8) Heโs worried about the kids the two of them share
If he has kids with a woman then a man may cry over worry about their future.
If a divorce is taking place, then he could worry about future custody or the kind of life his kids will have.
If he feels the woman is not a good mother then he may worry that the kids will be neglected or be around inappropriate or harmful behavior.
Worrying about the well-being of oneโs kids is very difficult, and if heโs feeling sad about this then heโs going to be touched at the deepest core of his being.
The tears are an expression of the concern and love heโs feeling for his kids and hoping that the woman can also take part in ensuring their wellbeing.
This is his way of appealing directly to her heart and trying his best to communicate how emotionally intense this is for him.
He worries about the future these kids will have and is appealing to the motherโs heart to care for them and do whatโs best for them.
9) Heโs doubting his own strength
Many women have a strong emotional response to seeing a guy break downโฆ
This is especially true if heโs a โmacho manโ whoโs not customary to opening up in his emotions around women.
Many women report feeling humbled, for example, on seeing their dad break down in front of them or in seeing a strong brother or war veteran reach the breaking point.
Realizing that weโre all human at the core and donโt always have the strength that others imagine is very humbling.
Men have moments when they doubt their own strength.
This could be from financial problems or other issues that are affecting them which seem out of their control.
It could be health issues which are cropping up and making him worried for the future.
It could be his own behavior or taking the women in his life for granted that humbled him and made him break down.
Men may be stereotypically strong, but on the inside, there is still always the small boy who wants to know he is loved, accepted, and doing well for those around him.
10) Heโs playing the victim to manipulate her
Sometimes tears can be the way that a man tries to get his way.
The stereotype is that women use crying as a way to make men feel bad and give them their way, but men definitely do it, too.
There are some guys who have learned to use their tears to get what they want.
This can, unfortunately, be especially true if heโs a man whoโs had a hard past or is dating or involved with a woman who knows heโs had some emotional or psychological issues.
By tearing up and staring at the window or lying in bed with tears streaming down his cheeks, he could be using his secret weapon:
Iโm sad, so give me what I want.
He doesnโt want to go on a trip, he wants X, Y, or Z? Well, as soon as he brings out the waterworks, suddenly anything that his woman does become cruel and uncaring.
She feels like she has to comply or else sheโs putting his mental and emotional health at risk.
The ultimate and awful example?
A man who threatens to harm himself if his girlfriend or wife leaves him, forcing her to feel she will be responsible for his literal death if she leaves him.
Psychotic stuff.
Itโs a shady move but some guys absolutely do this, using their emotional vulnerability to manipulate and control their partners.
11) He really wants another chance
Somewhat in the manipulation category is when a guy is crying because he really wants another chance.
The difference here is that wanting another chance with a woman isnโt necessarily manipulative. It may simply be very heartfelt and raw, coming from deep inside him.
His love for this woman has brought his tears to the surface and he canโt stop them from spilling out.
Youโve got to at least respect that level of emotional authenticity.
12) Heโs breaking up with her
Emotional breakdown can be the natural conclusion to a relationship and is often what happens when a man is breaking up.
When a man is about to break up, all the best memories from the past and worst episodes may spring to mind.
Itโs the closing of one chapter with a woman he loves, or at least a woman he loved.
And he canโt stop himself from feeling overwhelmed.
Tears often come when we least expect them, and breakups are certainly one of those things that can be far more emotionally devastating than either person expects.
You start out by thinking youโre just saying goodbye and moving on and thatโs thatโฆ
โฆ.But before you know it youโre sobbing like a child and losing control.
13) Heโs reached the end of his rope in general
Crying isnโt always a choice. Who you do it in front of is also sometimes not fully chosen.
When something very tragic has just been learned about or a certain point of emotional breakdown has been reached.
He may simply have reached the end of his rope and have nowhere left to go.
He may be experiencing depression, sadness, personal loss and a difficulty accepting mortality or illness.
Crying in front of a woman can be a humbling act for many men.
Itโs a way of admitting that at the end of the day all of us human beings are in the same boat and no gender or other identity exempts us from the pain and tragedy of the human experience and what it sometimes brings.
Let it rain
When emotions are genuine they can boil over into crying.
For men, crying often doesnโt come easily, especially when theyโve been raised in cultures which see men as needing to be strong or emotionally reticent.
But the truth is that in the right context, tears can be a transformational event for a couple.
Tears arenโt weak, theyโre real.
Life can get all of us to a point where we cry, men or women.
Thereโs nothing wrong with that, and if crying is the start of a new chapter in your relationship then itโs a great thing.
I recommend once again to talk to a love coach at Relationship Hero.
They know what theyโre talking about and theyโre able to guide you through some of the rough patches if youโre a man whoโs feeling especially emotionally raw or a woman who wants to know how to support her man while heโs going through a low point.
