We all know the stare.
It’s the kind that can send shivers down our spine and make us a little self-conscious.
It can be flattering, it can be creepy. Sometimes, it can be a bit of both.
Why do guys do it anyways?
Well, read on and find out.
1) He finds you sexy
Men like to stare at women they find physically attractive, so one reason behind his stare could be that he simply finds you sexy.
It’s not too different from when you find yourself staring at a hot guy. People just like looking at things that look nice and… well, are “easy” on the eyes.
Perhaps he’s trying to sear you into his memory, or perhaps he’s trying to understand why he likes you. Maybe he’s simply appreciating you.
This isn’t the only possible reason why he’s staring at you, of course. It’s just the most obvious.
2) He’s curious what’s underneath
You might have heard the phrase “undressing with one’s eyes.”
That’s one of the things he’s possibly doing at the moment. He’s staring at you, trying to get an idea of what you look like under your clothes.
And yes, of course, possibly imagining you without them!
If he’s within earshot, he might even be imagining what you would sound like being intimate with him.
It’s only natural if you were to feel uncomfortable and violated by his stare. In fact, unless you’ve given him your consent to sexualize you like this, you should feel uncomfortable and violated.
3) He’s flirting with you (and he wants to make it obvious)
If this isn’t the first time you’ve caught him staring at you, then he’s definitely trying to catch your attention.
Especially if he smiles when you look back instead of looking away.
In this case, he definitely wants you to return his gaze and “appreciate” him, too.
It’s definitely an exciting experience if you’re willing to engage in it. Use it to start a conversation, or to start the first step of seduction.
And if you aren’t too hot on his advances, then you can always call it off by shrugging your shoulders and looking away.
4) He’s trying to read you
For one reason or another, something about you has caught his eye and he’s been trying to get a read on you ever since.
He might be trying to figure out what kind of person you are from your body language, or how you react to the situation around you.
There’s a surprising lot he can read just by paying close attention to you from a distance. And doing so requires a lot of staring.
5) He’s just a creep
And of course, he could simply be a creep!
One of many that you’ll inevitably stumble into just by being a woman and living your life.
Sorry to break it to you, but guys don’t necessarily have the best motives. It shouldn’t even matter if he’s good-looking.
The guy might be a walking red flag who simply wants to please himself… and has no intentions of actually getting to know you.
When in doubt, trust your gut.
Set aside any attraction you might have for him too, and think about whether you feel creeped out or not.
6) It’s just his habit
There is a percentage of people who happen to enjoy staring, for reasons only they can explain. But actually, most of them don’t even know they’re staring unless you call them out.
This guy might even have a compulsive staring disorder.
Sometimes he can’t control where his eyes fix on and it could be the sensitive parts of your body.
He might look away on his own once he catches himself, but he will nonetheless find himself thinking about it.
It can be hard to tell when someone has this problem and it can be very unsettling if you’re the object of his gaze.
7) He’s trying to intimidate you
In most cases, men don’t even need to try to be intimidating to women.
However, with the increasing awareness of gender equality, more and more women are empowered to achieve and be comfortable in their own skin.
This causes insecurities in some men and the guy you catch staring at you might be one of them if you come off as an intimidating person yourself.
He may be trying to assert his own dominance. You could take this in two different ways. Him being intimidating as he looks at you could mean he wants to keep his distance.
But when you look like you’re very capable and in control, it could also be he’s just trying to compete with you or at least trying to get to your level.
8) He’s trying to seduce you
There’s a lot you can tell someone through your gaze. And while it might not seem like it at first… stares can be seductive.
By staring at you, he’s expressing that he’s liking what he’s seeing.
Perhaps he might even smile and raise his brows to keep you looking to make sure you’re feeling his soul-piercing gaze.
It’s certainly a way to catch your attention, though it’ll be entirely up to you whether you appreciate it or not.
If you like him, too. You know exactly what to do—stare back and look down on his body too!
9) He wants you but doesn’t know how to proceed
Let’s say he’s looked at you long and hard enough to know that he’s really into you. You’ve got everything that he’s looking for in a girl.
But, unfortunately, he’s just a bit too fond of overthinking. So now he’s stuck thinking of all the different ways he can approach you. He’s probably overanalyzing how you’d react, and whether it’s worth the risk.
He wants to be so absolutely sure that he’s read you right and that he makes a good first impression.
And while he’s doing so, well, he ends up spacing out while staring in your general direction.
In this case, it’s more like he’s staring through you instead of at you.
What to do when you catch him looking
It’s really up to you how to respond when you catch a guy staring at your body.
Depending on the situation and how you are feeling towards him, you can try these tips:
Staring back at him will make him aware that you’re aware that he’s staring. Phew. That’s a tongue twister.
As mentioned earlier, some people are not really that aware that they are already intruding with the way they look at you.
So how do you make him aware that you notice him staring at you?
Simply look them in the eye and hold their gaze too. There’s no better way to send the message across.
This can rattle him a little and make him conscious of their effect on your…so they will soon avert their gaze. Or they can take it to mean you approve— in which case, you can add a smile or a wave to say “Hey, I notice you checking me out. I kinda like you, too.”
If you’re not that interested in him, and yet would also rather avoid confrontation, then you can just try ignoring him.
Think about it. Unless you actually hear from his lips, you’ll never be 100% sure what his intentions are.
You can try talking with other people instead or try moving elsewhere if you’re alone.
It pays to still pay attention to him, even if you don’t show it.
Being ignored can make him give away his true intentions… and that can mean him making his move.
If you want to see results, then you should just walk up to him and talk.
You can say something like “I can’t help but notice you looking at me. Do I know you from somewhere?”
Or if you’re feeling bold, you can say “Hey, you’ve been staring at me for a while now. Something caught your eye?”
Make your move if you like him too!
Just a note: Don’t forget to trust your gut. There’s always the risk that he’s a creep.
There are many possible reasons why a guy might stare at you—some better, some worse.
The common thread is that he’s interested in you.
Whatever his reasons may be, you aren’t going to get anything done if you don’t make your own move.
Do you have a good feeling about him? Do you feel uneasy? Then go do your thing, whether that be flirting with him or walking away.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.