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What turns women on: 21 things you can do right now

Guys, you don’t have to be the star in a romantic comedy to get the attention of your girl.

You just need to do little things everyday to keep her coming back for more.

While the general consensus is that women are hard to please, the truth is that women just want little gestures of love.

Women don’t need big ovations and grand plots to win them over. If you want to turn your woman on, doing these everyday things will surely keep her interested.

Now before we get into 21 things you can do to turn a woman on, here are 5 traits that women find attractive in a man that you might want to go about boosting in yourself:

5 Most Attractive Qualities That Girls Are Looking For In a Guy

A common mistake that many men make is thinking of women like a boss in a video game – as long as you make the right moves, you can easily conquer her and make her yours.

But it’s important to prioritize the things that women are looking for in a partner, and what they find most attractive in a guy.

Here are 5 of the most important qualities women are looking for in men:

1) Assertiveness – Not to be confused with being a jerk. Assertiveness means knowing what you want, from the next five years in your career to what you want for dinner. Don’t be afraid to make a decision and stick to it; women love knowing that they can rely on their man for his stances.

2) Curiosity – Is there anything more boring than a partner who doesn’t want to know things? It’s important to be curious, because it shows that you won’t stagnate as a partner (and thus make her stagnant). And most importantly, it’s most attractive when you are curious about her.

3) Emotional Presence – You have to stay committed, physically, mentally, and emotionally. If your date is sharing a story, listen. Don’t wander off – they’ve given you their time, so it’s time that you appreciate it. And don’t be afraid to talk about your own stories and emotions; they want to see the vulnerable side of you just as much, if not more.

4) Stability – While financial stability is important, there’s more to you than what’s in your wallet, and that’s what women are looking for. Emotional stability leads to relationship stability. The more mature and in control you are of the things you can control – and how much you’ve accepted there are things you can’t control – the more attractive a partner you will be.

5) Equality – It’s not 1950 anymore. Women want to be sure that they’re dating someone from this century, and that means acknowledging and practicing their equal say and power in the relationship. Never try to overpower them, physically or verbally. Even if you think they are wrong in a conversation, talk it out properly. Let them know you are willing to listen and change.

RELATED: What makes an average guy instantly become “hot”?

20 things you can do right now to turn a woman on

1. Come up behind her and put your arms around her.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of having your guy come up behind you and wrap his arms around you.

Whether she’s on the phone or looking out the window, walking up behind her and wrapping your arms around her will make her melt every time.

This will make her feel like you’re ready to protect her, which is great for her overall self-esteem.

Past research has shown women feeling good about themselves and their bodies is an important factor for sexual satisfaction.

2. Get your body language right.

Adopting the right body language is essential in turning a woman on.

Because women are highly tuned into the signals a man’s body is giving off. And if your body language is giving off the right signals, she’ll more likely than not respond with an emphatic ‘yes’ to you.

Let’s face it: Being good looking and in shape can be helpful when it comes to women.

However, much more important is the signals you convey to them. Because it doesn’t matter what you look like or how wealthy you are…

…if you’re short, fat, bald, or stupid.

Any man can learn some simple body language techniques that tap into the primal desires of their ideal girl.

Every day, more studies are coming out proving that women are attracted to the nonverbal communicators men give off… rather than the way they look. In other words, it’s the body language of the guy that makes all the difference.

That’s why you need to understand what you’re telling women with your body language and what they’re ‘saying’ back to you.

Kate Spring is widely considered to be one of the best dating coaches in the world. Her specialty is helping men understand female psychology. And her advice revolves around the (seemingly) small signals any man can give to attract any kind of woman.

She’s created this free online video where she shows you exactly how to leverage your body language to better attract women. You can watch the video here.

3. Clean her place.

Want to win her heart and show her you care? Clean her apartment. Don’t get into the drawers and closets, but tidy the place so that when she comes home, she doesn’t have to think about cleaning her place.

This is a kind act that women will find attractive. Accoridng to sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly, kindness is an important sexual trait.

“A recent study found that those who are more altruistic have more sex and receive more attention from the opposite sex. These findings were more pronounced for altruistic men who also reported a greater number of sexual partners.”

This works especially well on a Friday night when she’s had a hard week and wants to rest.

4. Make her coffee.

When she wakes up and finds the coffee is already made, she’ll be yours. This is especially true if your girl hates mornings.

One less thing she has to do in the morning to get ready is one more bonus point for you.

5. Caress her hand.

Whether you are having dinner at home or at a restaurant, reach out and touch her hand. This will make her heart melt and her lady bits swoon.

Take her hand when you walk into a room or down the street and she’ll feel like you are the best guy on the planet.

According to research touch plays a vital role in human connections. It promotes the release of oxytocin, the love hormone.

According to Matt Hertenstein, an experimental psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana:

“Oxytocin is a neuropeptide, which basically promotes feelings of devotion, trust, and bonding. It really lays the biological foundation and structure for connecting to other people”

Watch and see how their body gives away their attraction. They’ll reach out and touch your hand, brush your hair away, or slap your arm while laughing – anything to be near you.

Here’s a great example of touching to make you seem like a gentleman:

“If you walk near each other, he’ll place his hand near the small of your back to guide you through a noisy party or bar. Plus, he wants to show all the other men that he’s got this. Plus, it’s a reason to touch you and seem like a gentleman all at the same time.”

6. Cuddle.

Looking to make her yours forever? Cuddle with her. Not in a sexy way, although that is great in the moment too, but in a “I just want to be near you” way.

Cuddling on the couch or in bed watching a movie is a great way to connect with her and make her feel like a queen.

Psychologist Dr. Kathryn Hall theorized that “while men tend to approach sex as a way to experience intimacy, women consider desire and sex a result of emotional connection.”

7. Massage her shoulders in public.

Guys don’t like to always show public displays of affection and women know that. But you don’t have to kiss her at every street crossing to make an impression.

You can just massage her shoulders while she’s waiting in line for something or rub her arms if she’s cold.

8. Touch her leg under the table.

Keep the intimacy alive between you by showing her that you care with little touches and caresses under the table.

You can just put your hand on her leg or rub her back while you are at dinner.

This is a great way to make a connection when you are with other people and want to remind her that you are there for her.

9. Be friends with her family.

Want to win her over once and for all? Make friends with her brothers or dad. If you can hang out with her family and get along with them, she’ll be forever grateful.

Bringing home a guy to meet her parents is not easy and if you can take the lead to make them feel comfortable, you’ll be golden.

10. Make eye contact across the room.

Keep her guessing and wanting you by locking eyes across the room at a party. Look for her when you aren’t near her and smile at her when you find her in the room.

Let her know she is important to you in a room where everyone seems important to you.

11. Carry her things.

If you want to turn her own, do things for her that are out of the ordinary these days.

Hold doors for her, pull out the chair before she sits down, make dinner, set the table, carry her suitcase at the airport, tip the bellboy.

Do all the things for her and she’ll be super impressed with her guy.

12. Dance with her.

Our last piece of advice is possibly the best thing you can do to turn a woman on. If you want to lock it in and make her fall in love with you all over again, ask her to dance.

Guys, we know you don’t love dancing. It’s no big secret. But she does. Girls love to dance.

So if you want to win her love again and again, take her for a spin on the dance floor.

Extra bonus points if you can actually dance, or are learning to dance, but just giving it a go is a surefire way to keep things interesting in your love life.

13. Be the cook, cleaner and kitchen keeper.

It’s been a while since a woman’s place was in the kitchen, according to society, but many women still bear the brunt of running a household.

If your girl is tired after a long day, the last thing she wants to do is come home and cook you a meal.

If you want to turn her on and make sure she has the energy to do something about that turn-on later, take your share of the work in the kitchen.

Cook meals for her, clean up after dinner and make sure that the fridge is stocked with food each week.

You don’t even have to tell her you are doing these things. Just start doing them.

14. Share your food.

If you want to grab her attention and make her look at you in a new way, offer her half of your food or drink.

Grabbing a coffee? Offer her a sip or pour half into another cup for her.

Even though today’s women are fiercely independent and don’t want to be made to feel inferior to men, they still want to be taken care of.

If you show her you care and take care of her in ways that don’t take away from her independence, she’ll be yours forever.

15. Let her have space.

Because she’s independent, she is going to need her space.

Make sure you let her have it and create it for her. Run a bath for her. Order take out so she doesn’t have to make dinner for herself tonight.

Encourage her to go out with her friends. You can be a huge part of her life and not even need to see her.

Being in a relationship is about mutual trust. If you can show her that you trust her, she’ll love you for it.

In fact, giving yourselves space may actually increase desire and sexual attraction in the long run.

A study suggested increasing seperation may actually increase sexual desire:

“In this line of thinking, separateness is beneficial to sexual desire; desire can be sharpened by withdrawal or abstinence and be stimulated by fantasy, hope, and promise. Related prerequisites for desire are identified by [psychotherapist Esther] Perel. In her view, desire thrives in ‘otherness,’ defined as the space between the self and the other that allows for the unknown, novel and unexpected, for surprise and risk.”

16. Bring her a treat.

Want to turn things up quickly and easily? Bring her some sweets. Grab a piece of chocolate cake and share it. One plate, two forks. Don’t feed it to her. She’s not a baby.

But offer to share something sweet with her. She’ll love it. Drop by the office with her favourite cookies or candy.

Not only will she feel loved and be totally turned on by this gesture, but the rest of the women in the office will be too. It’s such a simple thing, but men often overlook the easy wins.

17. Say you are sorry first.

In the middle of a fight and you need to act quickly to repair the damage being done? Say you are sorry. And mean it.

Saying you are sorry disarms her and makes her pay attention to what you have to say.

It also makes her feel like you are taking charge and trying to handle the situation so that things can go back to normal for you both.

Saying you are sorry shows her that you are mature enough to deal with grown-up problems and she’ll be totally into it.

18. Show signs of strength

A big turn on for woman that may not be much of a mystery is height and visible strength of a man.

Why?

According to psychologist Shae Vian, it signifies the healthiness of a man:

“Height, strength, and physical fitness require high levels of testosterone, which is actually harmful for the immune system in high doses…But the fact that a man can display such qualities, means [he] must therefore be healthy.”

This has something to do with the “handi-cap principle”:

“If something is too costly to display and can still be displayed, it must mean the animal displaying it has strong genetics to do so…It applies to humans, too.”

19. Be present.

One last piece of advice for how to turn a woman on without sex. If you are together, whether that’s a ballgame or shopping mall, be together. Be present. Put your phone away. Pay attention to her.

Listen to her when she talks. If you put that phone down, you’ll find out all kinds of things about her that you didn’t know.

And if she sees you consciously put your phone down to pay attention to her, she’ll eat that up and thank you for it later.

We don’t realize how much we shut each other out by looking at our phones. If you want to keep her interested, be interested in her.

20. Be a fun conversationalist

Women are interested in guys who can actually talk about something in-depth.

It doesn’t matter if you’re into movies, video games, sports, politics, or food – the point is to have topics in your arsenal that you feel comfortable with.

You don’t have to be the smartest guy in the room to be a great conversationalist.

If you have something passionate about (bonus points if she has no idea what it is), share it with her and use it as a conversation point.

It lets her know that you have your own set of interests and hobbies, making you look more interesting.

21. Practice good hygiene

Having good hygiene doesn’t mean you have to spend 30 minutes every day blow drying your hair.

Good hygiene can be as simple as brushing your hair, keeping yourself cleanly shaven or trimmed, and styling your hair with wax.

A guy who puts thought into his grooming looks put together and in control of himself. You don’t have to bathe in cologne to be properly groomed.

It’s really all about tidying yourself up and making sure you look presentable.

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether or not you would go into a job interview looking like you do now.

Want her to be your girlfriend?

Let me guess….

You treat her well. You’d do anything for her. And you try to show off the best side to your personality.

I used to do all those things. And I consistently struck out with women.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being nice and treating a girl well. These are great qualities.

But if that’s all you bring to the table, you’re in big trouble.

As I have learned, women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose the guy who makes them feel certain powerful emotions. Specifically, they choose the guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.

It isn’t that women like assholes, because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals when they’re flirting. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.

The simple truth is that a woman’s brain is much more responsive to certain signals than it is to anything you say to them. Or however well you treat them.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women—and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring. As I mentioned above, she’ll show you how to supercharge your natural charisma and make flirting come effortlessly to who you are as a man.

Kate’s a best-selling author and expert on female psychology. She’s smart, insightful and tells it like it is.

And in this video she introduces the most effective method I have come across to flirt with women the right way.

Why body language is key to turning her on

The first thing women notice about you is your body language: the way you walk into a room or how you interact with the people in it.

Here’s something most guys have never considered:

When you say a girl’s “hot” you’re probably talking about the shape of her face and body:

  • Her beautiful eyes, soft skin and full lips…
  • The curve of hips…
  • The swell of her chest…

These shapes and curves combine to make you feel turned on and drawn to her…

But when women say a GUY is hot they’re not talking about the shape of his body or face. Most of the time they’re talking about his body language.

In a recent study, women looked at pictures of men and rated their attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10.

But the researchers did something sneaky:

Among the hundreds of pictures the women flipped through they slipped in multiple pictures of the same men.

They were standing and sitting in different positions. And with slightly different facial expressions.

Amazingly, women would rate the same man differently depending on how he held himself.

One way of standing would get him ratings of “5” or “6”. And a seemingly minor adjustment would give the same guy ratings of “9” or “10”

That’s because women are highly tuned into the signals a man’s body is giving off…

They get an “overall impression” of a guy’s attractiveness and think of him as either “hot” or “not” based on these body language signals.

Here’s the link to Kate Spring’s video again. I think you’ll get a lot out of it.

Because you’ll be amazed at how differently women see you. And how they treat you…

When you know how to give off the right signals when you flirt with them.

New video: He reveals the truth about chasing emotionally unavailable men (hint: don’t do it!)

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.
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