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12 things to do when your crush ignores you

You sent a text and never received a response. You reached out when you saw your crush at the mall. They didn’t respond and turned away.

Should you give up? Not yet!

Knowing what to do when your crush ignores you isn’t easy. It’s hard to read signs and know what to expect.

Yet, you have to know – are they just playing hard to get, or are they really not interested?

To figure that out, you need to take several steps to get to the bottom of it.

Using the steps in this article below, you can safely and accurately determine what to do when your crush isn’t giving you the attention you want.

#1: Make Sure You Look Your Best

One of the easiest ways to get your crush to pay attention to you is to look your best.

Your crush may fall in love with you sooner if you take care of your appearance first.

Start by updating your look.

Are you wearing clothing that fits your body well? Try pieces that give you confidence.

It’s important to love the way you look.

Don’t look sloppy and unkempt in front of your crush.

That shows them you may not care much about yourself.

And, it shows them you haven’t put in a lot of time to impress them.

If you’re going to see your crush, make sure your hair looks great, your clothing fits well, and you feel fresh and clean.

Wear some cologne or perfume, too. Your crush may remember that scent later and think of you.

#2: Make Some Connections

When your crush ignores you, it may be because he or she just has not gotten to know you.

How do you find an in to connect with them?

Make friends with their friends.

The more connections you make, the more time you’ll spend with your crush.

That gives you an opportunity to impress them, get to know them and get their attention.

Even if you make friends with their friends online, that’s going to give you an opportunity to connect with your crush.

It’s an indirect way to make important connections to those that know your crush well.

Sharing mutual friends is always a good way to get his or her attention.

#3: Figure Out Why Your Crush Is Ignoring You

Maybe your crush knows you well, but they are ignoring you.

It’s frustrating.

It’s even worse when you don’t know why they are ignoring you.

What should you do when your crush ignores you in this situation?

Figure out why.

Ask them.

It’s the simplest way to connect with them and learn what the problem is.

Ask them, “I feel like you’re ignoring me. How come?”

Or, ask them for more details. “I know you’re ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you?”

If you don’t know why you cannot make it better.

You may also not be able to connect with them at all.

Simply ask what’s up.

#4: Learn the Psychology of Ignoring People

Have you thought about the psychology of dating?

There’s actually a psychology of ignoring someone.

What does that even mean?

In short, some people try to get another person’s attention by not paying any attention to them at all.

Let’s say your crush is crushing on you.

He or she doesn’t know what to say but wants to get your attention. They ignore you. That bugs you.

You want to find out why they are ignoring you.

So, you’re forced to talk to them to figure it out.

Instead of them coming to you to tell you they have a crush, you’re going to them!

Of course, you could turn this around, too. Ignore them!

When you do, you’ll give them the cold shoulder enough that it will bother them.

They have to figure out what’s up with you!

Ignoring them gets their attention.

Could it work for your case?

#5: Make Them Realize You’re Living the Good Life

Next step, show them what they’re missing. Don’t be rude about it. Just make sure they know you’re happy and living your best life.

Why does this matter?

People are attracted to happy people. Being happy may make someone fall in love with you.

Being around people who are living their best life is always going to be more enjoyable than sitting around talking to someone about their sadness or depression.

So, get active! Show them the type of life you love to live.

Then, your crush is going to want to be with you – they may crave to spend time with you.

When we are around other people who are happy, that leads to being happy ourselves.

#6: Sometimes It’s Just Not About You!

Here’s another big problem.

Sometimes, a crush is ignoring you because he or she has something else going on that is taking up all of their mind.

Look past what is happening in your own life to find out what’s up with your crush.

  • Did they just come out of a really bad relationship and need time before moving into another?
  • Are they struggling with problems with their family? Maybe they are feeling depressed over the loss of a loved one?
  • Could they be dealing with a physical problem? Maybe they are not feeling well.

Homelife, work demands, school – the list of potential problems is pretty high.

If your crush is a cool person most of the time but seems down and out, it could be that there’s something going on with him or her that needs to be addressed first.

Sometimes people just need time to think and process what’s happening to them. Try not to think it is about you. Thinking helps people become successful and overcome challenges.

#7: Say You’re Sorry

Did you hurt your crush’s feelings? Did you fail to pay attention to something they said? Let’s face it – when some people get mad, it’s easier to just ignore the problem.

If your crush is upset with you, make it right. Address them openly and honestly.

.Saying you’re sorry in a relationship is a common – and necessary – step to keep it moving in the right direction.

Maybe you just didn’t say or do the right thing. It takes five seconds to simply apologize for that action or inaction. When you do, your crush may be more willing to talk to you again.

#8: Don’t Chase Just to Chase

If your crush is ignoring you, he or she may not be interested.

There, that’s the hard part. But, take a closer look at this.

Could it be that you’re chasing your crush because the chase itself is fun and alluring?

Do you really like your crush, or are you just after them because they seem not to be interested in you, and that’s the real problem?

Sometimes the chase of the relationship is addictive. When you take a minute to think about this, you may say, “But I just can’t walk away.”

If you want to walk away, here’s a tip. Start thinking about your crush’s flaws. Make a list. Be thorough. When you do, you’ll quickly realize he or she wasn’t worth it in the beginning.

To know if you really do have a crush or you are just in it for the chase, ask yourself if you can overlook every one of those flaws to make it work.

If not, move on. If so, then keep reading for more tips to getting your crush to notice you!

#9: Skip the Self-Doubt and Make Sure He Fits Your Needs

Another of the most serious mistakes to avoid when a crush ignores you is creating self-doubt.

That is, you may be doubting who you are, what you have to offer the world around you, and what makes you special.

Sometimes, it can feel easy to simply focus on what you are not offering that he or she isn’t paying attention.

Self-doubt is painful, and it can impact your self-esteem for years to come.

Don’t let it happen to you when your crush is ignoring you.

One way to do this is to just respect yourself and allow your crush to fit into the picture if he or she really wants that. They may not.

They don’t know what they are missing, then. It’s okay to give them time to come around or to simply walk away.

You’re looking for your perfect match, not someone that you have to negotiate your personality with to fit in.

The bottom line?

Don’t skimp on being you. If your history, beliefs, or personality traits are something your crush can ignore, they may not be the right choice for you in the first place.

#10: Find a New Way to Communicate

After all of this, if you still have a crush, it’s time to get to the bottom of it.

Good news, there are a lot of ways you can do this. The simplest is to just change up the way you are communicating.

Maybe your crush isn’t willing to talk over the phone – some people just don’t want to do so.

Send a text to ask them to connect.

If your crush is shy, he or she may not be able to meet up in person just yet.

Try to connect on social media as a way to start talking without the discomfort. Perhaps your crush is super busy and doesn’t spend a lot of time on social media.

In that case, make it a point to stop by where they work or hang out to say hi. Find a new way to connect.

#11: Tell Your Crush It’s Okay to Leave You

What? How is that going to work?

It may not seem logical, but in fact, it may be exactly what you need to do.

Let your crush know that if they are not into dating you that it’s okay and that they can move on.

When you do this, you put the thought into your crush’s mind that maybe you are not going to be there for them forever.

You make them think, “Do I really want this to end?”

There’s a chance they may not be too sure about this.

They may want to end it. In all cases, you’ll know what’s really going on and what you need to do about it.

#12: Be Bold and Assertive

Why are you giving your crush all of this power? Why not be yourself, stand up for yourself, and make a point of communicating what’s happening?

  • Play it cool but don’t get hurt. Being too cool and out of the loop could make your crush think your not interested.
  • Be assertive instead. Communicate that you’re interested. Make it bold and clear. Do this early on in the crush to make sure your crush knows what’s really happening.
  • Express your concerns with your crush ignoring you, and your desire to be with them. Make it clear during the “getting to know you” phase.

When you take these steps, you’ll be better on your way to learning why your crush is ignoring you but also whether or not he or she is worth pursuing.

Wait, Make Sure You Know What’s Really Happening

Sometimes it’s important to take a look at what’s happening with your crush.

Could it be you’re not getting all of the info you need?

Here are some common questions people ask and what you should do when your crush ignores you.

What does it actually mean when your crush ignores you?

Take a step back. When a crush ignores you, it means they do not recognize you’re there.

It may mean they do not want to engage with you in any way. Or, it may mean they are just not ready.

It’s hard to see what’s really happening. You can’t see what’s in their mind.

That’s taking these steps can help. They can give you more insight into what he or she really is thinking.

What do you do when your crush ignores your text?

Text messaging is difficult because sometimes they do get lost and are not received.

That’s not common, though, in most areas.

If someone you are crushing on doesn’t return your text message – but you can see they’ve read it – that may mean they are not interested.

It may also mean you need to have a conversation with your crush about their true feelings.

Send another message:

  • “You know how upset I am. Please respond.”
  • “I know you’re busy, but could you send me a quick message?”
  • “I’m trying to be patient waiting for you to text me back.”
  • “I just want a simple answer. Could you send me a text soon?”
  • “Did you receive my text? Could you give me a response now?”

Should you make your crush regret ignoring you?

You could, if you feel that your crush will respond in that way.

Remember this. If you want your crush to remember and contact you, don’t make them mad.

Instead, show them what they are missing. To do that, consider these tips:

  • Make it know you’re interested in someone else, instead.
  • Focus on you. Show your crush just what he or she is missing by being happy.
  • Stop showing any interest. Sometimes they live off not responding to you!
  • Hang out with someone else. If it is a friend, that’s okay, too.
  • Get over your crush and let them wonder what happened. They will regret it!

How can you make your crush miss you?

When you decide to move on from your crush, but you want it to sting for him or her, there are a few things you can do to really drill home what they’ve missed out on.

Keep it simple. Never give up on being true to yourself. Try these tips to make them miss you:

  • Stop texting. Instead, ignore them or leave them unread. That’s going to make your crush miss your messages.
  • Make them wait until you have time to respond. That could be a few days if you decide to.
  • Make sure they see you’re living your best life on social media. Social media is a big part of today’s relationships.

It’s hard to do. Every situation is very different. Sometimes, just leaving makes them miss you.

Should you ignore your crush if they are now talking to you after ignoring you?

Now they are talking to you. You’ve moved on. You want them to hurt a bit because of what they put you through. It’s fair, it seems. If you decide to go that route, make sure you understand the cycle of anger in relationships. It does not always work out.

What’s the bottom line here? How do you get over all of this?

If you want to keep your crush interested, give them a reason to respond and to stop ignoring you. When you learn what to do if your crush ignores you, and that means walking away, go for it. Your life may be better off when you’re not waiting around for someone else.

 

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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