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11 things it means when you can’t get someone off your mind

You haven’t talked with each other that much or you haven’t seen each other for a while but for some reason, they just keep on intruding on your thoughts.

It’s understandable for you to be confused by all this, especially if it feels like it just started happening out of nowhere.

Don’t worry, we’re here to help you figure it out. In this article, I will tell you ten reasons why you can’t get someone out of your mind.

1) You’re falling for them

The most likely reason why you just can’t get someone out of your head is that you’re falling for them.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re your soulmate, of course.

It could just be that there’s something about them that appeals to you so much that your mind just can’t stop fixating on them—in short, it could just be that you’re infatuated or in limerence.

Do you ever find yourself thinking of being in their arms, or imagining them with someone else and getting a mild clenching sensation in your chest?

If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then chances are you’re indeed falling for them yet you’re still at the beginning phase of your attraction and a part of you is hesitant to admit it.

2) They’re falling for you

Another reason why they might be sticking on your mind is the flip of the first scenario—namely, that they are falling for you.

You might not notice it consciously—there are no clear signs— but when people are attracted to you, they’re going to act in small but subtle ways that your subconscious will notice and latch on to.

They might be flirting and connecting with you with body language and oh boy, body language is such a powerful thing!

It could be that they act a little differently around you. For example, you might have always known them to be someone who never smiles, but for some reason, their face just seems to light up when you’re around.

3) You have an unfinished business

Maybe thoughts of your ex keep entering your mind lately because there’s something you need to talk about.

Perhaps there is a promise of some kind that you—or they—have yet to keep, or you have been working on something together that you’ve been thinking of finishing.

Or perhaps you just miss them really bad and want them back in your life, but pride has kept either of you from reconnecting. It could be that your ex misses you too and you are catching this vibration.

If they’ve been in your thoughts lately, it might be a sign that you need to reconnect.

How do your thoughts go when you think of them? Do you think of the ‘good old days, or of the times when you did things together? Do you keep thinking about that big argument that made you stop talking with one another?

Those thoughts hold the clue for how you should probably proceed when you do decide to reconnect, so give them some thought.

4) They inspire you

Of course, just because you can’t get someone out of your mind doesn’t mean that you necessarily have romantic feelings for them, or want to reconnect in any way.

Maybe you keep thinking of your professor or mentor or the brilliant artist you met at a party because you think they’re awesome. It doesn’t mean you secretly want them to be your partner. They just inspired you in some way.

It could be anything. Perhaps they inspired you to pick up a hobby or had been someone you’ve always wanted to aspire to. Or perhaps they had inspired you to pick up a cause.

It is easy enough to figure out that someone has been inspiring you if they’re some big and faraway figure like a celebrity or historical figure.

When there someone you’re close to, however, things get tricky and you’ll have to give it some thought to figure out whether what you feel towards them is love or simply admiration.

5) They’re thinking of you

When we were kids, we would be told that when we can’t stop thinking of us, it’s because they’re thinking of us too. As it turns out, this isn’t a total lie.

Your thoughts send ripples through the universe. Signals that carry your intentions through the spiritual realm, which then can have effects in the real world.

This is the secret behind manifestation, where people keep thinking about the things they want and immerse themselves in positivity to invite the universe to bring them what they want.

But you don’t have to manifest for your thoughts to have an effect. If you think strongly enough about someone, they will feel it and begin thinking about you too.

But not only that, when someone is thinking with you all the time, it will show in how they act. They will make many small decisions that will tell you that they’re trying to connect, and you will feel it.

6) They’re just way too charismatic

Charismatic people understand the fact that when dealing with people, it doesn’t really matter what you say or do or even what your intention is. It’s about how you make them feel. Do you make them feel bad? Do you make them feel good about themselves? Do you make them feel special?

We all want to feel special in this world where it’s hard to feel like you’re anything but average. Because of this, when someone does manage to make us feel special, we can’t help but keep thinking of them all the time. We begin to crave their attention, even.

This is admittedly one of the more devious items on this list. Sometimes people make you feel special out of genuine affection or crush for you. Sometimes they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re doing it to make you care about them.

7) You see yourself in them

A particularly potent reason why you might be unable to get them out of your head is because they remind you too much of who you are, or who you have been.

Maybe you care for them and you just can’t stop thinking about how they’re repeating your mistakes. Or maybe the two of you are so alike that every time you do something you love, you can’t help but think about how they’ll probably love it the same way you do.

So you want to connect and indulge in the comfort of having someone that you know will be able to relate to every single thing you do. Or perhaps you want to help them get a handle on themselves so that they won’t repeat your mistakes and go through the suffering you did.

Feel free to act on either desire, of course. But before you act, take a moment or two to really figure out exactly how you think about them, and how exactly you should act.

In circumstances like these, it’s important to remember that no matter how similar the two of you may seem at a glance, you’re still entirely different people and you should avoid thinking that their every thought will coincide or agree with yours.

8) You want to bring out the best in them

It’s also perfectly reasonable that you simply want them to be the best person they can be.

Perhaps you’ve seen their potential to become something greater than they actually are. Perhaps they’re stuck in a very bad personal situation you dearly wish you could bring them out of.

Simply put, you just can’t stop thinking about them because of how much you care for them. And you probably should act on this desire, so long as you’re sure you’re not coercing them into doing things against their wishes.

Just a warning though, make sure that you don’t have what we call a savior complex wherein you feel like you’re always responsible for other people’s misery.

9) They remind you of someone important to you

Perhaps the way they sip their coffee reminds you of your first love, or the way they joke and laugh is too much like your father that it hurts.

We never truly leave our childhood behind, and even as adults the things we have gone through in our youth remain with us.

Whether or not it is unhealthy for us, we continue to look for things that remind us of our past because they provide comfort. And so when we do find someone who reminds us of someone that was significant to us in the past, we can’t help but get drawn to them.

When this happens, you must take care to never replace them with that person from your pastor to make them a substitute. Doing so would be a disservice to them both.

10) You’re wounded

Not all of the reasons on this list are positive. Sometimes, you can’t help but keep thinking of someone precisely because they have hurt you or are otherwise associated with a hurtful memory.

It could be that they betrayed you, or have broken up with you so cruelly that even years after the fact you’re still picking up the pieces of your broken heart.

It might seem counterintuitive to keep reminding yourself of hurtful times, but we humans are irrationally conditioned to remember the bad times and forget the good.

Personal wounds are a delicate matter and emotions are irrational. If this is the reason why you can’t stop thinking about them, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to try to find time to sit down and heal.

You might want to process your feelings with a therapist if thoughts about them are starting to really bother you.

11) You will start something great together

A possible reason why you just can’t stop thinking about someone is because the universe is trying to bring the two of you together. Maybe you’re destined to start something great between the two of you.

It could be a relationship, a joint project, or an adventure of some sort. It is up to the two of you to find out together exactly what the universe has in store for you.

But of course, don’t take this to mean that you’re guaranteed to achieve whatever it is the universe wants out of the two of you.

Just as you’re not going to cook breakfast by staring at the stove, you’re not going to get anything done simply by knowing that the universe has something planned for you. You still need to do work and ask the universe for guidance every step of the way.

In this case, take the first step by reaching out to them.

There are many reasons why you might find yourself thinking of one specific person time and time again.

Usually, we associate these things with love and romance…with soulmates finding one another. But there are plenty of platonic reasons why you simply can’t stop thinking about someone.

What is important is that before you act on your thoughts or dig yourself into a hole full of self-doubt, you should take a moment to take a deep breath and try to understand what is going on. Clear your thoughts and ask yourself and the universe what it is trying to tell you. Perhaps then your path will be laid bare and you can start walking the path of healing, learning, or love.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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