What does it mean when a guy stares at you? 18 possible reasons

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So there’s this guy who keeps staring at you.

Ever since you noticed it, it’s the only thing you can think about. You’re even starting to like him a little.

But why is he staring at you anyway? Does this mean he likes you?

In this article, I will give you 18 No-BS reasons a guy stares at a girl:

1) He finds you attractive

I know a part of you would think “nah”, but it’s NOT impossible.

In fact, it’s very likely.

It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s crushing on you hard, it could simply mean he finds your features attractive. Maybe he finds your nose cute or your hair sexy. Maybe he really finds you so pretty.

It’s not a deep kind of attraction yet, but he’s drawn to your looks.

We all do this. Studies show that babies look at attractive faces, and that’s because our brains are wired to stare at beautiful things.

2) He mistook you for someone else

If a guy stares at you as if he’s solving a puzzle, he probably is. And that’s because he knows someone who looks exactly like you.

He may be astounded by the similarity or he might be thinking that you’re actually them. And he’s staring at you longer hoping you’d recognize him too.

Of course, this only applies to guys you only met for the first time—even random strangers in the subway. If he’s a colleague or classmate and he’s staring at you inquisitively, then it’s a different story.

3) He’s actually staring at something else

It’s possible that you just thought he’s staring at you, but he’s actually staring at the person behind you… or the TV, or the poster hanging on the wall.

Don’t feel bad if you find out this is the case. It doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you.

If anything, it’s just a good opportunity to start a connection.

If you find him cute, it wouldn’t hurt to smile at him next time it happens. I mean, it could apply to you, too. If he doesn’t smile back, then you can just pretend you’re smiling at someone behind him.

4) He’s lost in his thoughts

It’s possible that his stare isn’t loaded—that he’s just staring at nothing in particular and his direction makes it seem like he’s staring at you.

In other words, it doesn’t mean anything special. He’s just zoning out. Maybe he’s thinking of what to get for lunch or what to do on the weekend.

Now if you like this guy, you should probably wave at him the next time you catch him “staring” at you this way. You could have a laugh and start a conversation.

5) He’s holding back his feelings for you

He tries to steal some glances (but nothing more!) because he doesn’t want you to figure out that he’s deeply in love with you.

It could be because he’s a naturally shy guy or it could be because he feels he’s not ready for commitment or you know…that you’re already engaged to his friend!

However, he thinks looking at you is harmless when done in small amounts (and without you catching him), and he won’t deprive himself of it.

He’ll just admire you from a distance because to him, there’s no way that the two of you will ever be together.

6) He wants to catch your attention

If a guy stares at you with more intensity or frequency than what’s considered normal, then he’s trying to catch your attention.

People have an almost supernatural ability to sense when someone’s staring at them.

This is an instinct that’s ingrained deep into our psyche, something that had helped our ancestors survive being stalked by lions in the wild.

And he’s taking advantage of this instinct, staring at you so intently that he’ll get your attention. Perhaps he’s hoping that it can lead to something else—a small chit-chat, a first date, or something a little more frisky.

7) He’s trying to seduce you

If it seems like he’s trying to undress you with his stare—and he’s biting or touching his lips, then the guy is definitely flirting with you.

Be careful, though. Some guys are natural flirts and they’re doing this to every girl they fancy. So while it’s nice to think that he’s into you, you should probably manage your expectations.

But if you think he’s a harmless dude, you might want to flirt back and see where it goes.

8) He’s observing you

Maybe he’s already so into you but he just doesn’t want to approach you unless he’s sure he really likes you. So he’s just watching you from afar for now.

Some men are just like that. Perhaps they got burned by their past relationships or watched someone get crushed because they rushed into a relationship. And others are just cautious by nature.

And it’s not unwarranted—some people might seem nice at first, only to turn out to be the worst people you’ve ever met.

So for now, he’s trying to see what kind of person you are—from how you treat the waiter, or handle stress and how you treat your friends. Once he feels like he has you figured out and he likes what he sees, expect him to inch closer towards you.

9) He likes you but he’s intimidated by you

Were you ever told by someone from the opposite sex that you seem “scary” and unapproachable? If you’ve been told this more than once, then it’s probably true.

And that’s possibly why this guy is staring at you a lot but is not making any moves.

He thinks you’re out of his league!

This is especially true if he’s a shy guy.

If you want him to warm up to you, then you have no choice but to approach him first.

10) He likes you but he’s in a relationship

Just because he’s in a relationship doesn’t mean he can’t feel any attraction to another woman.

And he’s probably just looking at you and doing nothing else because while he can’t deny that he likes you, he also wants to remain faithful to his girlfriend.

If this is the case for him, it might help for you to simply try being friends for now and to respect boundaries.

11) He’s drawn to your energy

There are some people who shine bright even if they’re not the prettiest, and maybe this is you.

Do people tell you you’re bubbly, or fun, or charming?

Is it easy for you to make friends?

Then the guy staring at you might be wondering “Wow, what is it with this woman? She can light a room.” And so he keeps staring at you while it’s still legal to do so.

He’s fascinated with you and he probably wishes you’re single. And if you aren’t, he probably wishes he’ll find a girl with the same energy as you.

12) He has a buddy who’s crushing on you

You think only girls share their crushes? Men do, too. All the damn time. Especially if you’re classmates or colleagues or you’re in the same friend group.

He probably has a friend who’s crushing hard on you so naturally, he’s paying more attention to you than usual.

He might be examining and wondering “What does my friend see in this woman?” or “Are they really a good match?”

Or he might be spying on you so he can update his friend about who you’re with and what you’re doing.

13) There’s something off about the way you look

Before you overanalyze his stare and think he’s into you, try to think if there’s something off about you.

For example, maybe your makeup was badly done and smudged, or you have bubble gum sticking to your skirt. Maybe you even had ketchup on your chin, making you look like a vampire.

Pay close attention to exactly where he’s staring at if it’s at your face or hair, or your skirt. Casually flip open your makeup mirror and see if there’s anything wrong. Maybe it’s just that.

14) You naturally stand out

If you dyed your hair pink, expect people to stare at you—including the men you like. Same goes if you put on flashy makeup and bling.

Of course if you’re trying to catch attention on your face, you will get it. It just means that it’s a given to get a lot of stares if you’ve got an interesting style.

But it’s not all about style. Maybe you stand out because you have a cool personality or you’re the prettiest one in the group. That’s very possible, too.

If you get this kind of attention a lot, then it may be the reason why the guy can’t keep his eyes off you.

15) He’s trying to intimidate you

If he’s making you uncomfortable with his stare, he wants to project a dominant vibe on you.

Depending on your dynamics and the kind of stare he gives you, it could be a sort of foreplay a la 50 Shades of Grey.

Or it could be him telling you that you shouldn’t mess with him. Some men want to project an air of dominance like they’re saying “you can’t mess with me”. Think back if you did something that could have made him feel this way.

If you can’t think of anything, maybe he’s interested in you and he wants to intimidate you so you’ll be challenged to chase after him. After all, this works for a lot of men.

16) There’s something he wants to tell you

Maybe he’s staring at you because he wants to figure out if you’re free to talk or if it’s even a good idea to do it at all.

It could be anything—he wants to take you out on a date, he has to deliver bad news, he wants to ask for a favor…anything!

The point is, he’s nervous in approaching you and he’s waiting for the right moment, so he’s paying attention to your body language. And this is probably why he’s staring at you.

17) He wants you to get curious about him

This guy probably knows the effect of his stare on other people—especially those from the opposite sex. He’s staring at you to get his attention…so you’ll get curious what he’s up to.

And you know what? He succeeded.

Look at yourself right now. He managed to get you trying to figure out what his stare even means.

But why does he want you to get curious?

Well, he’s probably interested in you. Otherwise, why would he even want you to get curious about him?

18) He’s imagining what it’s like to be with you

He’s probably thinking of you, and what it must be like to be with you.

Perhaps he started thinking while he was busy doing his own stuff and, without realizing it had started looking in your direction.

People instinctively look toward whatever they’re thinking of. It’s possible to resist this, but all it takes is for him to lose focus and get too deep into his thoughts for him to eventually start looking at you.

And while he’s looking at you, he drifts into the future where the two of you are in your big house, having dinner with your three beautiful children.

Snap him out of his fantasy by waving at him and he’d probably stammer and blush.

Conclusion

A pointed stare can mean so many different things. It could be a provocation or an invitation. It could be because he’s too shy to approach you directly, or because he’s bold enough to trust that his gaze will tell you everything he wants you to know.

One thing is for sure—it means that he has some interest in you. And yes, that’s even if he just wants to point out that your hair is messed up or your dress is stained.

But because of just how varied these possible meanings can be, it’s best not to have his stare be the be-all end-all of this situation.

If you like him, feel free to approach him and get to know him better.

It’s time to stop guessing and start exploring possibilities with this guy.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

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Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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