Why is that guy staring at me?
I’m not big on staring, but I have done my share.
As a heterosexual guy, I can tell you what I was thinking and what other men are likely to be thinking if they’re giving you serious eye time as well.
15 thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you
Eye contact usually happens when we are very attracted to someone or very afraid of it.
However, depending on the situation it can also mean a lot of other things too.
1) ‘I like her’
The first and most likely thing a guy will be thinking if he’s staring at you is that he likes you romantically or sexually.
This is one of the top thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you, because staring at someone is not an everyday occurrence.
It’s the kind of thing you do when you’re especially interested in someone.
Staring is a way to really enjoy every moment of being around the person you’re attracted to.
It can have additional meanings including being too shy to approach or thinking about how best to break the ice with a girl you’re interested in as well, which I’ll get to a bit later.
2) ‘I want to sleep with her’
Next up, one of the most common thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is that he wants to sleep with you.
Every guy knows that staring can be interpreted as rude and potentially creepy to a woman.
For this reason, he’s either staring at you because he’s highly confident, highly creepy or highly swept away by his response to you.
The third option tends to be the most common.
In other words a non-creepy guy begins staring at you out of the simple fact that he’s extremely attracted to you physically and has momentarily lost his bearings.
He’s momentarily unaware of his behavior or it potentially crossing the line because he wants you so badly.
3) ‘I find her intriguing but confusing’
Another of the thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is that you’re a bit of a puzzle to him.
Maybe he’s feeling you’re sending him mixed messages, or he wants to figure out exactly how he feels about you.
Attraction can be complex!
While this article explores the primary motivations behind a guy staring at a girl, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like being unsure about the high amount of attention they’re getting from a potential new partner.
Does he actually like you or is he some kind of stalker or playing mind games?
They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship.
After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
4) ‘I’m jealous of the attention she gets’
Another of the top thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is that he’s jealous of the attention you’re getting.
This is the kind of thing a more insecure or possessive man is likely to be thinking if you’re very attractive or getting a lot of male attention.
He wants your attention on himself and wants you to notice him.
For this reason, seeing the reactions you get from others makes him feel invisible and less powerful.
This makes him jealous and consumed by the desire that you turn his way and give him all your affection.
If this is what a guy is thinking when he stares at you, it’s probably a bad sign.
Although now and then it can just be that he likes you so much that his jealousy momentarily overtakes him (isn’t that at least a little bit romantic? Maybe? Just a tiny bit?)
5) ‘Do I know her from somewhere?’
Another of the top thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is that you look familiar.
I realize that asking if he knows you from somewhere is a well-known and corny pickup line.
But sometimes he may legitimately wonder if he does know you from somewhere or has already met you.
Maybe you have the kind of face that looks familiar…
Maybe he has a bad memory or is hungover…
Or maybe he really has met you previously and is trying to place where that was before saying hi.
Whatever the options, he may genuinely be wondering if he’s met you before and be staring at you closely to try to decide.
6) ‘I have no chance with her’
Another of the biggest thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is that he has no chance with you.
Think about a tough mountain you want to climb or about a house you’re trying to build that only has the foundation built so far.
What do you do?
Well, you stand with your hands on your hips and take a good long look at it.
Then you pace around a bit more and stare at it some more.
Now, sorry for comparing a woman to a mountain or a house here, but it can be the same thing with a guy who’s staring you down.
He’s feeling insufficient and afraid of rejection, so he’s studying you to try to get his nerve up.
If his desire can outweigh his nervousness then he’ll walk up and talk to you.
7) ‘I wonder if I can cheat on my partner with her’
Another of the common thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is that he’s considering cheating on his partner.
He wonders if you would go for it, and if he can get away with it.
Someone who’s hunting around to cheat is actually kind of sad if you think about it.
If you’ve cheated or been cheated on then you know it can hurt and lead to regret way more than you expect.
Here’s the thing:
Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?
Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…
When you’re dealing with someone who wants to cheat and feeling like the target of a cheater, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.
We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel horrible about things like getting stared at by sleazy guys.
We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.
We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.
We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution the desire to cheat and why it happens.
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over by cheaters and sleazy guys, then this is a message you need to hear.
I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
8) ‘Does she like me?’
I know that when I’ve stared at girls in the past who I was interested in, I was often wondering whether she felt the same.
I was watching her face for signs of interest.
This is sometimes among the most common thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you: does she like me?
Is there a chance?
Now, one of the ironies here is that by staring at you so much he’s probably kicking his own chances down.
But nonetheless, you can’t blame a guy for being into you and wanting to see if you might be too.
He’s staring at you basically to see if you’ll look back.
The stare is essentially a question, and the question is this:
“Does she like me, too? Or am I alone in this love?”
9) ‘She must look incredible naked’
Next up, we have Mr. X-Ray.
This is basically your standard fare pervert or over-thirsty guy.
He’s staring you down with one simple objective: to imagine you naked or get a glimpse of your intimate areas.
A common misunderstanding here is that guys will only do this if a woman is dressed “provocatively” or in a way that supposedly invites attention.
In fact, this isn’t the case at all.
A man who finds you hot will often be even more turned on by modest clothing or dressing very conservatively and be even more engaged in trying to get an idea of your form under those clothes.
So, let’s be clear:
Sometimes a guy is just eyeing you up because he’s wondering what color and style of panties you’re wearing and is filing away pictures in his spank bank.
10) ‘Is she single?’
A little bit higher class of guy may be thinking something more reasonable while looking at you.
Basically, he may be wondering if you’re available.
He’s staring at you and looking for signs that you’re taken or not.
Most visibly this might be a wedding or engagement ring, but it can also be about observing your behavior to those around you.
Are you clearly together with a guy who’s near you or on the phone talking to an intimate partner?
Or do you have a single “vibe” and appear to be available by all visible metrics.
So, sometimes he’s just taking a close look at you to see whether it would be appropriate or worthwhile to make a move on you or not.
11) ‘Does she see me looking at her’
Another of the top thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is whether you see him looking at you.
This can then become a kind of mirror effect, where he continues staring to see whether you’re noticing him staring and then keeps staring as he gets more tied up in being unsure if you notice.
This is more of a comical than a creepy occurrence and can result in some funny misunderstandings.
He’s wondering if you’re looking at him or want to look at him.
So he looks at you. Then he keeps looking and begins to overdo it in his curiosity until you notice him looking because he keeps looking even though you weren’t initially looking at him at all.
12) ‘What’s the best way to break the ice with her?’
Another of the common thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you is how to approach you.
Especially in our day when so many spend their lives behind a cell phone screen or a computer screen, a real human woman can be intimidating.
As pathetic as this might seem, it’s understandable for a man to be a little worried about how he might be received by a woman he likes.
For this reason, he’s staring at you and wondering how to break the ice.
If it’s a party, maybe he’s thinking about asking if you’re having fun or there with friends.
If it’s at work, maybe he’s thinking about offering you advice on a project or discussing a colleague you both are friends with.
13) ‘That woman is incredibly attractive’
Sometimes the only thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you are, well, no thoughts.
He may simply be awed by how attractive he finds you.
You’re like a diamond miner coming across a gem the likes of which he’s never spied before after years of toil and trouble.
He’s standing there with a tear in his eye watching the light refract off every angle of you because you’re a miracle for him.
Could it be love?
Or maybe just lust?
Time will tell…
14) ‘Is it weird for me to keep staring at her?’
On a related point to number 11, he may be staring at you while wondering if it’s weird to stare at you.
Part of him knows it is weird.
But part of him just wants to keep looking.
Then he ends up tying his mind into a pretzel before he can look away and you catch him gawking.
15) ‘Wow her eyes are beautiful’
In some cases, the thoughts a guy might be thinking when he stares at you may revolve around your eyes.
He’s looking with his eyes because he finds your eyes enchanting.
He may simply be thinking to himself that he loves your eyes or feels a special energy or emotion when he looks in them.
That’s definitely a big plus if something more serious and romantic is potentially in the cards.
When a guy is looking you in the eyes and not in other places it means he usually likes you on a deeper level than just the physical.
After all, as they say, the eyes are the window to the soul (and to the heart).
What happens next is up to you…
Now if a guy has been staring at you a lot, pay attention to the signs above.
The context also makes a huge difference, of course.
If he’s your ex, for example, he’s probably still in love with you or at least wondering whether he might be.
If he’s someone who you formerly expressed interest in, he may be looking to see if you’re still potentially interested in him.
Every situation is different, and every stare is different.
Keep in mind to really respect how you feel, too, when he stares at you.
What vibe do you get?
Is it a bad energy or something positive?
Trust your gut on this, because it can help guide you to making the right decisions.