Men can be difficult to read at times.
Some tend to be so indirect with their feelings that it might start to frustrate and confuse you.
You might find yourself stressing about what he wants from you:
Does he want to be with you? Or is he just looking for a good time?
While he might not say his intentions out loud, he might definitely be showing it.
If he’s cold to you after seeing you with another guy, that could mean he’s jealous and wants to be with you.
You don’t need to be a mind-reader; you just need to be more observant than before.
Since actions speak louder than words, here are 12 ways to help you determine what he wants from you by them.
1. How Often Are You Together?
It’s often the case that when you spend more time with someone, there’s a higher chance that an attraction might start brewing.
Noticing how often the both of you are together might help you gauge not only how he feels about you but what he wants from you too.
If you only really get to see each other a few days a week, there might not be any cause for confusion and suspicion.
But if he’s always asking if he can stop by, or if he wants to have lunch with you often, that might be a sign of something else.
While it might not always be a sign of something romantic – it could be that he just wants to be your friend – it’s certain now that he sees something different in you.
2. How’s His Attitude When You’re Together?
What is he like when you’re spending time together?
If he’s acting cold, almost as if he isn’t even that interested in your conversations, then it would be fair to guess that he sees you just as any other person.
If his attitude is more flirty – using a casual pick-up lines, trying to get you to laugh at his jokes, being more accommodating than others – that might mean he wants you to notice him.
He wants you to pay attention to him, because he might actually be falling (or has fallen) for you.
3. What is His Body Language Like When You’re Out Together?
Actions do certainly speak louder than words.
Noticing the way he acts can give you more of a hint about what he’s looking for from you.
If he doesn’t perk up much, slouching forward, and the tone of his voice is monotone or unchanged when you’re together, that could mean that he doesn’t really want anything from you; he sees you as a casual acquaintance.
But if you notice that he pulls his shoulders back, maybe stands a little taller, and leans in closer to you when you’re talking, that could mean he wants you to notice him because he might be interested in you.
4. How Often Do You Talk?
Often the amount of time you talk is tied to the amount of time you spend together.
Or, at least, the amount of time you each have each other on your minds.
Do you text in the mornings? Call in the evenings? It might be his way of subtly letting you know he’s interested in you.
Who initiates the conversations?
If he does it often, then one day doesn’t do it, it might be his way of gauging your interest in him.
If you don’t text him that day, you might start seeing his messages get fewer and farther between.
If he dedicates much of his time talking to you, getting to know you, then you could be more confident that he might like you more than you figured.
5. What Do You Often Talk About?
Do you talk about shallow things, such as the weather or what each of you are currently working on?
That might not mean much; he might just want to be polite with you.
It’s a good way to know, at least, that you aren’t both strangers to each other.
But if he keeps the conversation going, that might mean he has a deeper intent.
Do you talk about your frustrations with work? Your relationship problems?
That could mean that he’s just trying to find someone to express his feelings to.
But if you start getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, relationship histories, he might want to take your platonic relationship to another level eventually.
6. How Does He Chat Through Text?
While it might be difficult to gauge someone’s emotion and intent through text, one can still make a guess based on how they type.
There are some guys that are straightforward with their messages.
They say things such as, “Noted.”, or “Ok.” which doesn’t leave much room for interpretation.
It might just be him keeping it professional. He might even just send a thumbs-up emoji.
But if he seems more candid through text, that might mean he wants to form a deeper relationship with you.
He might be texting with emojis, sending “Hahaha”s, or even trying to make you laugh through text.
That could mean that he likes you and might want a more casual relationship together.
7. How Much Does He Share With You?
Does he open up to you about his feelings?
Does he tell you sensitive or traumatic stories from his past?
Men don’t tend to be vulnerable to just anyone. So this could mean something.
He might be telling you this because he wants you to know that he trusts you.
He sees you as a reliable friend that can hear him out, and talk about his feelings with.
This is the gateway for a more intimate relationship, that doesn’t always need to lead to romance – it could be the start of a meaningful friendship.
8. How Does He React to What You Say?
When you tell him good news about something that happened to you, how excited is he?
Does he give you a friendly pat on the back and a “Good job!” or is it thrilled for you, matching your energy and enthusiasm as if he was the one that got the good news in the moment?
If that’s the case, then he might just be a supportive friend.
But if he surprises you with roses to congratulate you, that could be his way of telling you that he really likes you.
9. How Much Do His Friends Know About You?
When you meet his friends, do they know you already? Or are you still a stranger to them?
Men usually tell their friends about the women that they’re attracted to.
So if his friends know more about you than you would’ve expected, that might mean that he really does see something in you.
You could also take this chance to ask his friends what they think he thinks of you – it could help you find some clarity in the situation.
10. How Often Does He Go Out of His Way for You?
When you’re having trouble, does he drop whatever he’s doing and rush towards you to help you?
Or does he recommend someone else that might be smarter than him to help solve your problem?
When he intentionally goes out of his way for you, goes somewhere far to buy you something you like, that could be his way of saying that he’s serious about you.
If he splurges too much in a matter of days, though, he might just be looking for a good time, and nothing long lasting.
11. How Does He Act When He Sees You with Other Guys?
When he sees you with other guys, how is he?
Is he welcoming of them?
Or does he seem cautious, as if he’s ready to fight them?
Does he act passive aggressive to you when you’re alone again?
He won’t feel jealous if he doesn’t feel anything for you.
So if he’s acting cold towards you, that might mean his feelings for you are more serious than you would’ve thought.
12. How Does He Respond When You Ask Him Directly?
The best way to clear up some confusion is to be straightforward with him and ask what he wants from you.
If he beats around the bush and goes off topic, that might mean that he’s still unsure about it.
If he tells you it’s nothing, but seems to hesitate and looks nervous, he might be hiding the fact that he likes you.
But if he can look you in the eye and say there’s nothing going on, he might just want you as a friend.
How to Respond to Him
If he’s showing signs he’s interested in you, then it’s your choice whether you want to flirt back or not. It depends whether you’re interested in him too.
Still, you never be sure if he’s leading you on though, so keeping your emotional distance might be your best way to protect your mental health.
That’s why it might be better to confront him about it once and for all to get a clear picture of what’s going on.
You can be direct with him, and that might just put enough pressure on him to tell you what he’s really feeling.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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