In every group of friends, there always seems to be the smart one, the silly one, or the one that always seems to get in trouble.
Fitting into a personality type can be a struggle, which could often lead to a glum conclusion: that there’s no personality to be found at all.
As a matter of fact, everyone has their own personality.
Surely, you must have preferences for what movies to watch, what food to eat, or clothes to wear.
That already separates you from the crowd that doesn’t like those things.
There’s a budding personality there waiting to flourish in the right environments.
Here are 13 more ways to help you bring out your own unique and interesting personality.
1. Figure Out What’s Important To You
Everyone, at their core, has a moral code that they live by.
Even subconsciously, it guides their actions and words to create a threshold of what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.
These are the things that you look for in choosing people to follow or befriend.
Once the line between what’s right and wrong, what’s worth believing in, and what isn’t is clearer to you, that becomes the foundation of everything that you do, moving forward.
Without knowing your morals and values, you’re more likely to make mistakes and regretful actions, without knowing why there’s a remorseful feeling that follows it.
2. Notice What You Consume
Writer David Perell has said that “Tell me what you pay attention to, and I’ll tell you who you are”.
The things that we consume play a subtle but significant role in the way that we view the world.
Your idea of what romance should be could’ve been shaped by romantic comedies: professing one’s love to the person in the window; having an intimate moment in the rain.
Music, movies, books, even food add a little more to one’s personality.
While it’s easy to say that you simply like these things, there’s always the chance that there’s a deeper part of you that’s drawn to them.
Maybe you are a romantic at heart, or maybe have more pessimistic tendencies, like dark and gritty drama films.
3. Ask Friends And Family To Describe You
We tend to spend more time in our heads than we’d like to admit. So much time is spent in our heads that we get lost.
Right and wrong actions begin to blur. That’s why Ryan Holiday writes, in his book Ego Is The Enemy, that we should get out of our own heads, lest we let our thoughts blind us.
Friends and family are regularly the ones that know you the most.
They should be able to identify the things that separate you from the crowd.
Close friends are the people that you’re regularly with, so they have a good idea of who you are as well.
Asking them to describe you will help get a perspective of yourself that might have otherwise been missed.
4. Change Up Daily Routines
Our daily routines can feel invisible to us.
As we go about our day, from waking up to eating lunch to winding down at night, our habits set our minds to autopilot.
While those may be the tried and tested way to go about life, getting settled in routines might become isolating; it might be the cloak hiding your personality.
The rote activities might bring about a feeling of stagnation.
The solution to that is simple: try something else. Mix up the routines; add something new.
Maybe it’s a jog or a new kind of coffee that’s going to show your personality.
As it might turn out, you’re a runner after all, or it’s confirmed that you’re definitely a tea person.
5. Take A Personality Test
Identifying your personality type can be tricky; are you more withdrawn with others or are you willing to talk to strangers?
Are you e a better leader or a better follower?
Are you the type to plan ahead or rely on God’s good humor and see how things go?
One way to answer these questions is by taking an online personality test.
The caveat to using online personality tests is that they each use a different set of personality criteria.
You may score differently in a test that’s optimized for introversion than for one that’s based on the organization.
Something else to keep in mind is that these are not substitutes for visiting a professional to take an actual test; so it’s advisable to not take the results of the tests so seriously.
6. Share Your Thoughts In Conversations
Conversations are meant to be two-way streets.
Each person has a chance to share what’s on their mind — in fact, each person’s opinion is expected.
There might’ve been times, however, when you don’t feel any particularly strong opinion on certain topics.
The only responses to someone are simple nods and words of agreement — and nothing more.
That might make you view yourself as someone bland and unappealing to talk to.
There are bound to be things that will cross the line and topics that are more attractive than others.
The nature of opinions is that there isn’t an objective right or wrong in them, so you shouldn’t be afraid of expressing yours. It might deepen relationships and reveal your true colors.
7. Avoid Comparisons
You may have thought, “If only I was as friendly as her or as smart as him”.
Comparison has been named the thief of joy for good reason; nothing good comes from measuring yourself according to others.
It’s out of your control, therefore, a waste of energy trying to change.
Focusing on what can be controlled, such as rebuilding and reflecting on yourself, becomes a more worthwhile activity to spend energy on.
8. Learn Your Strengths And Weaknesses
In his book Steal Like An Artist, Austin Kleon wrote about finding personal style by copying others. It’s an unconventional idea that’s worked countless times.
Kleon writes about how comedians try to copy other comedians, fail, and stumble upon their own style.
David Letterman tried to be Johnny Carson but ended up being David Letterman.
Likewise, Conan O’Brien tried to be Letterman but ended up being, well, Conan O’Brien.
In the failure to copy another’s personality, there are inevitably going to be certain things that shine through more than others.
Strengths and weaknesses become glaringly obvious when tried to fit into the shape of someone else’s personality.
It’s almost like a process of elimination to finding strengths and weaknesses.
9. Learn To Accept Yourself
Shortcomings can define a person as much as their natural abilities and interests.
We each have inherent personalities because we each come from distinct backgrounds; we each have different experiences in life.
Everyone has their own story, even you.
The poet Maya Angelou wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”.
Your story is unique because it is yours. It doesn’t need to be as dramatic or exciting as others.
Self-acceptance is already a significant step towards letting your personality flourish.
10. Write In A Journal
When thoughts are expressed in writing, it allows us to see it with more objectivity.
There’s no right or wrong way to write in a journal.
The only thing that a journal asks for is honesty; it’s just you and the pages anyway.
Writing out ideas and reflections of your thoughts enables you to process your feelings and emotions.
You get to know yourself more and eventually allow your personality to shine through.
11. Practice Being Mindful
Returning to the moment is such a significant practice that monks dedicate their entire lives to being present.
That’s because the moment is not cluttered with emotion; it only has what is real.
If personality is made through actions, then the place where we have the most control of our actions is in the moment, as opposed to going through the repetitive moments of daily life.
12. Take A Moment To Listen To Yourself
The world is noisy.
There’s always something going on: new series to binge, new posts to react to, new videos to watch, new music to listen to.
In the cacophony, our internal voices get drowned out.
But it’s that internal voice that we need to hear to get a better sense of who we are, instead of getting swept by the latest shiny trend.
As Billy Joel sings in Vienna, “Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while. It’s alright, you can afford to lose a day or two”.
Take a quiet moment to listen to yourself, there might be something that needs to be heard.
13. Speak To A Professional
If the feeling of a lack of personality becomes too bothersome, the wisest thing to do is speak to a professional.
They are trained to help people work through what’s on their minds.
Much like how we visit the doctors to take care of our physical health, psychiatrists and therapists are there to help with our mental health — which is just as important.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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