Paul Brian
The most confident people you meet have something in common.
They don’t talk that much.
Here’s how to radiate confidence without a word…
1) Stand up straight
Two women enter a restaurant dining room:
The first has slumped shoulders and is looking down.
The second is standing straight and looking the maitre d’ in the eyes.
The second individual is the one who exudes confidence, of course.
And she doesn’t have to say a single word.
Her upright body language says more than a thousand words ever could.
Standing up straight is a clear statement that says: “I am at home in my body, comfortable and proud. I own who I am and I stand behind my words and actions.”
Boom.
2) Walk with purpose
Standing up straight is key, with your shoulders back and your chest vertical.
Walking with purpose comes next and is part and parcel of being a confident man or woman.
You can be the world’s greatest orator or have looks that would launch a thousand ships, but if you don’t have a confident gait people are going to see insecurity.
The way you walk is its own entire language, and everyone from private investigators to psychologists study the way people walk.
When you walk with confidence and purpose, people see you coming from a mile away and they have much more respect for you.
That’s just a fact.
3) Look people in the eyes
I hinted at this in the first point and it’s absolutely crucial.
From the animal kingdom up to the human being, the eyes are absolutely crucial:
In fact, our eyes evolved a white area around the pupils partly for our colleagues and enemies to see what we’re looking at.
When you see where somebody is looking, you can see what they are focused on and whether or not they are a threat to your interests.
When somebody looks down and avoids gaze it signifies one thing first and foremost: weakness.
This may be due to shame, guilt, internalized inferiority or even just plain being very busy.
But to exude confidence you need to look people in the eye and hold their gaze, preferably until they look away first.
4) Shake hands with a firm grip
Different cultures have different customs for greeting others or agreeing to a deal.
But for those for whom shaking hands is customary, you can exude a lot of confidence by shaking firmly while looking somebody in the eye.
Keep your grip firm and subtly draw the other person into your orbit rather than be drawn into theirs.
You don’t need to “yank” anyone toward you the way Donald Trump does, but you can give a gentle pull.
You are powerful, you are confident, you matter.
5) Minimize overt reaction
Want to see a person who comes across as highly insecure and attention seeking?
Watch somebody who reacts to everything other people do and say, laughing, frowning, moving their head and gesturing for every new thing somebody says to them.
By contrast, you want to minimize overt reaction.
Sure, you smile when somebody smiles at you and you gasp a little when something bad happens: these are natural reactions.
But if you want to exude confidence you need to not overly react to everything.
You’re not a star in a live-action movie who has to show all your emotions or reactions. You’re living your own life and you’ll react in the way you wish to or not at all.
6) Avoiding fidgeting and tics
Many people have fairly confident body language and habits, but they sabotage it by fidgeting.
Whether that’s fidgeting with their fingers or scratching their head a lot, this betrays insecurity.
Exuding confidence is all about being comfortable and strong in who you are without needing any deviation from it or distraction.
Even tics like clearing your nose a lot, coughing or clucking your tongue can be very disconcerting and betray insecurity.
Remember confidence is not an act: it’s a series of habits and an alignment of inner security with outer behavior.
7) Eat and chew slowly
Those who eat with intention and care exude confidence.
Those who wolf down their food like a starving pig exhibit recklessness and lack of class.
You want to be in that first category.
So you therefore eat and chew slowly. Enjoy your food. Treat every meal like a special meal.
Respect your food!
Bonus: it tastes better when you eat this way, too.
8) Dress with style and class
How you dress does make a big difference in how you’re perceived.
I can’t count how many people I’ve met who were not bad looking or particularly insecure looking but who were dressed sloppily and hence give off an uncaring vibe.
You don’t have to be rich to dress well.
Just invest in a few high quality outfits, some well-fitting shoes and come up with your own unique personal style that says who you are.
When you walk into a room you’ll make a splash.
9) Accessorize tastefully
Accessories such as purses, watches, sunglasses, hats and scarves are all part of what can help you exude more confidence.
Accessorize tastefully.
A general rule of thumb here is that less is more.
Those who overdo it with gaudy jewelry and immense amounts of accessories often come across as try-hard.
Rightly or wrongly, using too many accessories can make you look hungry for attention.
But using a few well-chosen accessories can certainly boost your profile in a positive way.
10) Maintain good hygiene
Having good hygiene is extremely important for making a positive and impactful impression.
When you look slovenly and have dirty nails and unkempt hair, you come across as troubled or unwell in your life in some way.
This can be “cool” in some cases, of course, such as the wild-looking rockstar stereotype, but it generally makes a bad impression in regular society.
11) Practice your serious nod
If you want to exude confidence without speaking, practice your serious nod.
Almost all prominent individuals and charismatic men and women have their serious nod.
Watch an interview with a world leader or CEO and watch how they behave, nodding now and then as if sagely considering or responding to what’s being said and asked.
When in doubt, have a deep look and nod.
You’ll get far.
12) Be very organized
Being highly organized is another way to exude confidence without having to say anything.
Those who are all scattered in their scheduling and life tend to lose respect very rapidly.
But when you have a handle on your schedule and have your things organized you come across as highly confident and mature.
If you’re not there yet, don’t worry: getting organized can take time, but it’s always worth it.
13) Only laugh at jokes you find funny
Far too many people laugh to be polite.
It’s insecure and needy.
Instead, only laugh when you actually find a joke funny.
You’ll come across as much more confident and sure of yourself.
You don’t need to seek approval and laugh when somebody wants your attention. You decide when and where to give your attention: your laughter is rare and valuable and you don’t just give it to anyone!
14) Exit useless situations and interactions
When you’re in the middle of a useless situation or a bustle of people arguing about nothing, there are various options.
The most high confidence option is to simply leave.
If possible, you can gain enormous social cachet by just exiting stupid situations and crowds of people.
Truly confident folks don’t waste time. And they aren’t shy about just walking away from what (or who) is wasting their time.
15) Surround yourself with high-impact people
The last critical thing to keep in mind about exuding confidence is that it’s not all about you.
It also has a lot to do with who you surround yourself with.
Granted, those around you are not always your choice and may be coworkers, family members or friends of friends.
But if and when it is your choice about who to spend time around, spend time around people with ambition, drive and leadership.
Surround yourself with confident people and watch how people respond to you.
It’s a force multiplier.
The strong, silent type
The stereotype of the strong, silent type exists for a reason.
True confidence is often best expressed without any words at all.
By incorporating the behaviors above into your daily life you can embody the kind of confidence that draws others to you and brings success into your life.
Good luck and always remember that the most confident and charismatic people of all are not trying to be that way, they just are!
