10 simple ways to get your confidence back

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It’s normal to feel afraid sometimes. But as we grow older, we also start to lose our confidence because of the life-altering changes we go through.

Confidence is an important element of success, but we don’t always have as much of it as we need.

The good news is that you can rebuild your lost confidence with the right habits.

Whether you only lack confidence in certain areas or you can’t feel confident about anything, these 10 tips can help restore your self-esteem:

1) Learn Something New and Interesting

If you’ve lost your confidence, learning something new and interesting can help you regain your sense of competence.

When we feel skilled at something, it’s easier to feel confident talking about it.

So why not pick up a new hobby or skill that excites you?

Whether it’s learning a new language, trying out a new recipe, or taking up a new sport, diving into something new can be invigorating.

Of course, the key to gaining confidence in something new is to put in the time and practice.

Don’t expect to become an expert overnight – every master was once a beginner.

But with consistent effort, you’ll start to see progress.

For instance, if you’ve always wanted to write, start by writing a few paragraphs every day.

As you continue to practice and hone your craft, you’ll start to see your writing improve.

And here’s a secret: learning something new doesn’t just boost your confidence in that particular area – it can also help you build broader perspectives about different topics.

The more knowledgeable you become, the more confident you’ll feel contributing to conversations and trying new things.

2) Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

As social creatures, we often find ourselves comparing our status to other people – whether it’s about salaries, material things, relationships, achievements, or other things in life.

Making comparisons is normal, but it does nothing to boost an individual’s confidence.

When we compare ourselves to others, we feel envy and jealousy toward them.

As we experience more of these negative feelings, we also tend to feel worse about ourselves.

It’s difficult to stop comparing ourselves to others, but it’s an essential step to rebuilding lost confidence.

When you find yourself getting jealous of other people because of what they have that you don’t, remind yourself that everyone has their own pace, and life isn’t a competition.

Another thing that can help you ground yourself is to remember and focus on your successes and strengths.

Keeping a gratitude journal allows you to focus on your own life by tracking the life aspects where you’re the most blessed.

3) Surround Yourself With Positive and Supportive People

Take a moment and reflect on how your friends make you feel – do they support and lift you up or do they bring your mood down? Are they always judging you or do they love you for who you are?

The people around us influence our thoughts and attitudes about ourselves more than we realize.

We should pay close attention to how other people make us feel – if someone always leaves us sad and disappointed after hanging out, then it might be time to separate ways with them.

To start restoring confidence, it’s crucial to surround ourselves with people who love and support us.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that not everyone who comes into my life is meant to stay.

And while criticism can be helpful, constantly being around people who only see our faults can be detrimental to our mental health.

That’s why it’s important to build a supportive circle of people who believe in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves.

When we have people in our lives who love and support us unconditionally, it’s easier to feel confident and secure in who we are.

I’ve personally experienced the difference that a supportive circle can make.

Since surrounding myself with people who believe in me and my dreams, I’ve felt happier and more confident than ever before.

4) Don’t Let Perfectionism or Your Past Get in the Way

Perfection is often the enemy of success.

For most people, the pressure to be perfect locks them up and makes them too afraid to even try.

But it’s crucial to take the first step and just do your best even if it’s not perfect right away.

Taking pride in the value of your own work can help slowly rebuild your confidence – there’s always the chance to redo and improve your craft anyway.

Another hurdle to self-confidence is the fear of messing up again.

But remember that an individual is wiser after making a mistake – it all boils down to how confident they are to try again.

Learn from past struggles and use them to move forward.

If you believe that other people are worthy of success despite their flaws, then you should also show yourself the same compassion.

You can cultivate positivity, so all you need is to trust yourself that you can eventually succeed in anything you set your heart to.

5) Leave Your Comfort Zone Sometimes

People like safety and security so they stay in their comfort zones.

Trying new things is scary but sometimes, it’s better to stop beating around the bush and face fears head-on.

A little self-doubt is healthy because it can show a person’s dedication to improve their performance.

But instead of refusing new challenges altogether, tell yourself that it’s just a little experiment to see where it leads you.

Once people get the hang of leaving their comfort zone little by little, their anxiousness slowly fades away too.

Every step forward gives them confidence because they eventually learn that failure isn’t always as bad as they thought.

Confidence is all about taking risks – stepping outside of our comfort zones and pushing ourselves to try new things.

When we take chances and see positive results, it’s a powerful confidence booster. It shows us that we’re capable of more than we may have realized.

But here’s the thing – it’s not just about the wins. Even when we fail, we’re still learning and growing.

Every loss can be turned into a valuable lesson, helping us to improve and get better next time.

So don’t be afraid to take risks and embrace the possibility of failure.

Every chance you take, whether it’s starting a new business, asking someone out on a date, or trying a new hobby, is an opportunity to learn and grow.

6) Take Care of Your Mind and Body

It can be difficult for a person to feel good about themselves if they don’t take care of their bodies.

Practicing self-care is essential because doing something positive for the body, mind, and spirit results in increased self-confidence.

Some of the most important self-care practices related to boosting confidence include eating a healthy diet, exercising consistently, meditating for better relaxation, and sleeping at the right time.

Caring for the body is crucial to building self-confidence so make sure to take better care of it.

Aside from taking care of the body, part of self-care is also being kind to yourself.

People are always too hard on themselves whenever they make a mistake, but treating themselves with compassion actually allows them to be more emotionally flexible.

It gives them better control of challenging emotions and enhances their connection to their true selves.

7) Practice Positive Self-Talk All the Time

Criticisms are important, but negative words alone limit a person’s self-worth and abilities.

On the other hand, positive self-talk helps people overcome their doubts and allows them to take on new challenges to improve their skills.

Every time you think that you’re not good or knowledgeable enough to speak up in a meeting, remind yourself that some of your thoughts aren’t always accurate.

You tend to underestimate your abilities, so it’s crucial to find a way to turn those words into positive self-talk.

When you feel bad about yourself because of something, try to reframe your thoughts and change your perspectives.

For example, turn your “this is impossible” to “all I need to do is try”, “I can’t do anything right” to “I learned something for next time”, and “I can’t speak in public” to “everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses”.

8) Do Things You’re Good at Confidently

When people do things they’re already good at, their self-confidence increases.

Their strengths become even stronger, which allows them to believe in themselves better.

This habit also increases their satisfaction with their lives.

Life satisfaction levels and believing in one’s own abilities are related.

To become happier and more content with life, people must first find out their strengths.

From there, they can engage with their abilities regularly until they become even stronger.

For example, if you enjoy playing a sport, then try training at least once a week.

If there’s a task at work you’re good at, try taking on more of that particular job.

Building your strengths helps boost your self-confidence more because there’s already the validation that it’s something you’re good at.

9) Know When to Say No

Taking on new challenges and honing strengths can enhance a person’s self-confidence, but some situations can cut it back.

It’s crucial to pick out battles wisely so individuals can preserve their confidence and self-worth.

Saying no to some challenges that only make you feel worse about yourself is okay.

Social and emotional boundaries make us feel safer because they give us control over our lives.

Although discomfort is part of the growth process, there’s nothing wrong with drawing the line and sticking to your boundaries.

Whenever someone suggests an activity that I know lowers my confidence, I respectfully decline their request or invitation.

I understand that going out of my comfort zone is important, but I won’t do it if it hurts the confidence I spent years rebuilding.

I know that avoiding that activity forever isn’t the right answer, so I’m slowly building my strength until I’m confident enough to try it again.

10) Set Realistic Goals for Yourself

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big and reaching for the skies – but it can leave us disappointed when things don’t always go our way.

Trying to achieve ambitious goals involves a lot of failures until we figure out what works.

However, those trials and errors make us doubt ourselves and diminish our self-confidence.

The solution lies in having realistic and achievable goals.

The more little steps we take, the greater confidence we build in ourselves and our skills.

It always helps to write down our goals so we can find ways to attain them.

If we have a low chance of achieving a goal, then it’s better to dial it down and make it more attainable and realistic.

For example, people who want to lose weight are often advised to have weekly targets instead of focusing on long-term weight loss.

Breaking big goals into smaller steps boosts a person’s self-confidence — they believe better in themselves when they see the results of their hard work.

Lost Your Sense of Purpose?

In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.

Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.

Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.

With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.

Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.

 

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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