Do you ever walk into a room full of people and feel small and awkward?
You constantly worry about how you look, how you walk, or how other people think of you, making you want to go home as early as possible.
Many of us have experienced this, too – we remember the coolest people we know and wonder how they can look effortlessly stylish and confident like the world is their runway.
We find ourselves wanting to be like them.
But what many people don’t realize yet is that they don’t need to be other people to exude the same calmness and elegance some celebrities have.
It might seem like other people are born with it, but being confident and poised truly comes from having a strong sense of self and a freeing assurance that you are loved despite your mistakes and weaknesses.
If you want to get started in being confident and composed, check out these tips:
1) Love and Accept Yourself
Confidence and poise truly lie in your state of mind and how you think about yourself – the way you talk, walk, and act is simply its manifestations.
Before learning how to carry yourself with utmost elegance and confidence, you need to look within yourself first and work on having a good relationship with yourself.
Real confidence lies in your love and trust in yourself – that you and your feelings are valid no matter what.
Being poised comes from accepting with grace and certainty that you can do hard things and that it’s okay if you make mistakes because it will make you a better person.
It allows you to act more calmly and comfortably.
I know this isn’t simple for many people who struggle with accepting themselves.
It’s a long and arduous process that involves facing your fears head-on, but it’s going to be worth it and freeing.
Related article: 10 ways to learn to love yourself (everything you need to know)
2) Stick to Your Own Set of Principles
We meet new people and find ourselves in different situations daily, putting the principles we believe to the test.
And I know that it’s easy to lose yourself in the process.
Many of us tend to do things we don’t approve of just to fit in and appear superior.
But these actions may have grave consequences.
They also rob us of the chance to be more comfortable in our own skin and be loved for who we are.
Real confidence and poise come from knowing and accepting who you truly are and sticking to the set of values you strongly believe in.
Some may find that being humble, honest, and kind is already outdated in an era where embellishment equates to value.
But continuing to live by these values can improve your quality of life, bringing peace of mind.
These also allow you to build healthy and meaningful relationships that serve as your strong support system.
Living life with integrity gives you the confidence to handle any situation you find yourself in.
Choosing love and kindness makes you radiate a sense of lightness and positivity that puts everyone at ease in your presence.
It also allows you to carry yourself with genuine composure and calmness from the contentment and security you feel about yourself.
3) Have an Open Mind
Carrying yourself with confidence and poise is different from being arrogant and self-absorbed – the former comes from having a secure sense of self, while the latter is actually insecurity projecting itself as superior.
Arrogant people carry themselves thinking they’re better than everyone else.
That’s why they tend to speak over you, belittle you, or impose their thoughts on you.
But people who are confident and poised tend to be empathetic.
They always try to have an open mind and not judge other people.
This is because they know that the world is big and there are many things they didn’t know about – and this doesn’t make them less of a person.
Confident and composed people tend to be eager to learn new things from others and try to be respectful and sensitive toward them.
Related article: 10 simple ways to be a kinder person every day
4) Elevate Your Social Skills with Mental and Emotional Wellness
Part of loving and accepting yourself is working to improve your mental and emotional state.
This allows you to be more unafraid in talking to other people and speaking your mind, making you realize that your words have value and deserve to be listened to.
It also teaches you healthy ways to deal with tough situations.
Calm and composed people avoid reacting to raw emotions, but this doesn’t mean they repress and invalidate their feelings.
They practice healthy ways to verbalize their thoughts and establish boundaries.
Related article: How to talk to people:17 must-read tips for poor communicators
5) Develop Your Own Style
Carrying yourself with confidence and poise also involves proper grooming and having a sense of fashion.
But this doesn’t mean that you need to buy the latest collection of luxury brands or follow every fashion trend – it only means getting comfortable with your physical appearance and having fun developing your style.
Confidence and fashion can have a tight connection, where knowing your self-worth allows you to be unafraid to try out different styles until you find the one you like and are comfortable with.
Wearing nice and comfortable clothes, in turn, allows you to feel good about yourself.
You can start by reading up and experimenting with colors, patterns, and accessories that work well with your body shape and skin tone.
6) Relax and Be in the Moment
Anxiety and worry can sometimes get the best of us, stealing precious moments that can otherwise be enjoyable and memorable.
These emotions will also show up in the way we carry ourselves – we tend to fidget more, avoid social interaction, or even radiate a negative energy without knowing it.
For you to act genuinely poised and confident, it helps to assure yourself that everything is going to be okay, allowing you to relax and enjoy the moment.
I know this isn’t easy.
That’s why we should do different ways to take care of ourselves and work on controlling thoughts that make us worry and anxiety.
It helps to seek professional help and practice healthy ways to cope.
Related article: Find your zen: 10 techniques for reducing stress and anxiety
7) Avoid Slouching and Fiddling
Posture and mannerisms may be trivial matters for some, but if you want to work on carrying yourself with poise and confidence, you might not want to miss these details.
Having proper posture also improves your self-esteem, mood, and aura.
It improves blood flow and the release of happy hormones, improving your overall wellness.
Your clothes also tend to look better on you when you stand and walk properly.
Fidgeting is also a sign of being tense, which may send the wrong impression to other people or make them uncomfortable in your presence.
After all, it’s not a pleasant experience to talk to someone who doesn’t look you in the eye and constantly reaches for their phone or touches their hair.
To get started in avoiding slouching and fiddling, try exercising regularly or doing self-relaxation activities, like yoga, meditation, or pilates.
8) Consider Other People’s Comfort, Too
To act more confident and poised, you might also want to learn proper etiquette, allowing you to act elegantly and properly on any occasion.
Many may have associated etiquette with people of higher social standing.
But everyone can actually practice these sets of behavior.
Etiquette is more about putting other people at ease with your presence and learning how to act and be confident in every situation.
This set of behavior allows you to go out of your comfort zone while staying confident in your own skin.
People become more comfortable with your presence and even find conversations with you pleasant.
Some examples are keeping eye contact the right way when speaking to someone or knowing when to listen and contribute to a discussion.
9) Reward Yourself Once in Awhile
To carry yourself with real confidence and poise, you must also be kind to yourself. And this involves rewarding yourself with the self-care you deserve.
Doing these things makes you feel more relaxed and less stressed about things that worry you.
Once you feel replenished, you’re ready to go about your normal routine again and face pressure with grace and calmness.
Rewarding yourself can be anything. It can mean finally taking the day off or allowing yourself to not work overtime.
Or you may also have a relaxing day at the salon or spa or have a vacation on the weekend.
Do these small things that make you happier and more relaxed.
10) Forgive Yourself
Loving and accepting yourself also comes with being able to forgive yourself.
Everyone makes mistakes, and while it makes us feel guilty or shameful sometimes, these don’t make us any less of a person.
These are important learning experiences that make us grow into better individuals – you may have done things elegant women would never do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change into a poised and confident person.
It’s never too late to work on improving yourself.
Having this mindset will give you the confidence to go about your day with calmness and composure, radiating genuine poise and positivity.
Related article: How to forgive yourself: 13 steps to move on from regrets
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