Alexandra Plesa
You and your friend group have always gotten along well.
Lately, however, something has shifted.
Instead of feeling supported and at ease when you’re around them, you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Plus, you started to dread spending time together.
Is it because their attitude toward you has changed?
Here are 12 warning signs your friends have lost respect for you.
It may be time to address the elephant in the room.
1) They avoid making long-term plans
Your friends used to love making long-term plans with you.
Adding future concerts, adventures, or trips to your group calendar was cause for excitement and celebration.
All of a sudden, no one seems eager to commit to these types of activities when you’re around.
If you suggest you all take a vacation together in a few months’ time, they brush you off or insist it’s too early to make a commitment.
That sounds like an excuse in my book – and a poor one.
2) They don’t keep you updated
You used to know everything about what’s going on in your friends’ lives.
Now, it seems like you have to beg them for information.
You don’t know who they’re dating or what’s going on at their jobs.
Even worse, you learn about significant life events via social media – when they post a work update or a selfie with their new partner.
Friendships change over time. People get busy, priorities shift, schedules get hectic.
But when something big happens, you should let the people who matter to you know.
If no one bothers to keep you in the loop about the latest news, it’s a red flag for sure.
3) They don’t take your advice or suggestions
When your friends lose respect for you, they’re no longer interested in what you think or trust your opinion.
If you offer advice, they dismiss it. If you have a fun idea for a group activity, they reject it outright.
Next time you all hang out, pay attention to how they react when you offer input on one of their problems.
Their responses will speak volumes.
4) They frequently interrupt you while you’re talking
A big sign of disrespect?
Your friends talk over you, zone out when you’re in the middle of a story, or exclude you from the conversation.
In other words, they don’t listen.
Instead, they act impatient, like they’re in a hurry to end the interaction and move on to another topic.
I’m sorry to break it to you, but they’re no longer invested in what you have to share.
This will be even more obvious if you’ve all known each other for a while and you never experienced this issue until recently.
5) They gossip about you
Talking about someone behind their back and spreading rumors is not only disrespectful but can damage the relationship beyond repair.
Once you learn that your friends gossip about you, trust goes out the window.
There are subtle behavior cues that can act like alarm bells:
- The conversation abruptly stops when you join them
- You find out they have a group chat you’re not part of
- You hear about your own life or experiences from sources other than your friends
- You become aware of untrue or exaggerated stories circulating about you
- Your friends act shifty and distant
Would you gossip about someone you have a high opinion of?
I didn’t think so.
6) They withdraw support
Your friends used to rush by your side whenever you experienced a minor inconvenience.
They offered words of encouragement and a shoulder to cry on.
Now, they can barely be bothered to express sadness that you’re having a tough time.
Instead of suggesting you all go for drinks to commiserate, they deliver platitudes like “this too shall pass” or insist that you’re making a big deal out of nothing.
And when you have something to celebrate?
They act jealous rather than happy for your success.
7) They openly mock you
My friends and I tease each other all the time.
That said, these are playful, light jabs that only bring us closer together.
For instance, they make fun of my inability to cook elaborate meals or apply make-up without looking like a raccoon.
I know that these remarks aren’t meant to be hurtful or offensive. They’re just banter – and I serve it right back.
Mocking, on the other hand, is generally intended to belittle or ridicule someone. And it’s not something friends do.
When you’ve been close to someone for a long time, you might not even notice when their witty comments stop conveying warmth and become straight-up insulting.
But if you feel like your friends are deliberately banding together to put you down, it’s a sign that they may have lost respect for you.
They no longer care if they hurt your feelings.
When the mocking is done in front of others, it cuts even deeper.
8) They ignore your boundaries
Someone who disrespects you doesn’t have any concern for your boundaries.
If that someone is a friend, it’s even more heartbreaking.
Your friends know you well, so they can pinpoint which buttons to push to upset or annoy you.
You might notice that they recently started to discuss sensitive topics that make you uncomfortable despite your expressed concerns.
Or, they push you to do things entirely out of your comfort zone, insisting that it’s the only way you can continue to be a part of the group.
True friends challenge you, sure, but they don’t issue ultimatums or make you feel uneasy on purpose.
People who have lost respect for you, though, might.
9) They take advantage of you
Healthy friendships are built on reciprocity.
If your relationship with your friends feels one-sided as of late, it might be because they have lost respect for you.
But rather than cut you off, they keep you around for what you can offer them.
Validation, financial support, connections, or help with various tasks.
If you notice that your friends only reach out to ask for favors and not to see how you’re doing, treat this development as a warning sign.
10) They offer unsolicited criticism
It’s one thing to offer constructive criticism to a friend who asks for your opinion and a whole other to make insensitive remarks about their choices or personal attributes.
You’ve never had problems with your friends before but, lately, it seems like all they do is criticize you.
They have something mean to say about everything from how you dress to how you act to your hobbies and passions.
You feel like you’re constantly under attack.
News flash: that’s not normal.
11) They break promises
Someone who breaks promises doesn’t take their commitments to you seriously, signaling a lack of respect.
It’s disheartening, especially when this attitude comes from friends who used to have your back.
Now, they show up late to meet you, cancel plans at the last minute for no good reason, and fail to show up for you when they say they will.
Something is obviously wrong, and you need to speak up sooner rather than later.
12) You feel like a backup
Everyone in your friend group used to be treated like an equal.
Yet, more recently, you started to feel like the group’s backup.
Not only do you sense that there are inside jokes among your friends that you don’t understand, but they occasionally exclude you from activities altogether.
Feeling left out is devastating.
Unfortunately, it can also be a sign that your friends have lost respect for you.
Final thoughts
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
When these relationships go sour, it can hurt even more than losing a significant other.
If your friends start to act shady and you notice the warning signs above, it’s time to have a serious conversation.
Open up about how their jabs are affecting you and make it clear that you expect to be treated better.
This may be a temporary situation caused by an error on your part or a miscommunication.
But if the disrespect persists after the big talk, you’re better off retreating from the friend group altogether.
No one deserves to be treated poorly, especially by people who should have their best interest at heart.
