Adrian Volenik
Are you on the fence about your partner? Do you have doubts about him and his real intentions?
Well, you’re not alone. Many women are trying to gauge their men at this very moment and find out whether the men are with them because they care or because the relationship is just incredibly convenient for them.
In this article, I’ll show you warning signs he’s only with you because you’re convenient.
From a man’s perspective.
1) He only reaches out when he needs something
Okay, one of the first signs he’s not good for you is if he rarely initiates conversations or only talks when it suits him. Even then, the dialogue revolves around him and his needs.
He also primarily contacts you when he needs a favor or a booty call but is absent when you need support or just want to spend time together.
These are all clear signs of convenience rather than a genuine connection he has with you. It’s also incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and you probably wouldn’t tolerate such behavior from anyone else.
Here’s a similar behavior that paints a picture, too.
2) Plans are often last-minute or on his terms
If he consistently makes last-minute plans or sets the terms of your meetings without considering your schedule or preferences, it means he’s not prioritizing your feelings and comfort.
For example, he doesn’t like going to fancy restaurants, so you never do. Or he likes spending weekends with his mates, so you don’t hang out much on weekends.
You’re always playing fiddle to his desires, friends, schedule, etc. Obviously, he doesn’t care about you as much as you thought.
3) He’s not interested in your life or personal goals
When a man cares about his partner, he’s interested in their life, how their day went, what they’re up to, and so on.
So, if he shows no genuine interest in your aspirations, dreams, or daily experiences, it means he’s not invested in your well-being or personal growth.
In other words, he doesn’t care that much about you.
But that isn’t normal behavior. Even when you’ve been with someone for years, and you love and care for them, you’re interested in what they’re up to.
I’m sad to say, but you need to get to the bottom of this. If you want to take your relationship to the next level, you don’t want to do it with someone who clearly doesn’t care about you.
The same goes for this:
4) You feel taken for granted
If you constantly feel unappreciated for your efforts and contributions to the relationship, it’s a clear sign he doesn’t value your presence.
For instance, you’ve made this awesome dinner for him, but he doesn’t even acknowledge it and just gobbles it down with one eye on his phone.
I’m sure you could find dozens of examples if that’s the case.
The thing is, making someone feel special and appreciated is so easy. It’s almost effortless; that’s how easy it is.
But the problem is that they need to have the will to do it. And that’s what they don’t have, especially if they’re with you because you’re convenient.
5) He avoids introducing you to his friends and family
Okay, introducing a partner to your parents or friends is sometimes stressful. Still, when we care about the person and want to be more serious about it, we “bite the bullet” and do it.
So if he’s refusing to integrate you into his social circles, he’s probably trying to keep the relationship at a distance or isn’t serious about it.
He’s just using you for fun or thinks this relationship doesn’t have a future for one reason or another.
6) He consistently ignores your needs and feelings
Another major red flag is if he dismisses your feelings, opinions, or requests and doesn’t make an effort to meet your emotional needs. It’s a sign that he’s prioritizing his own convenience over your happiness.
For example, when you’re going through a difficult time or need emotional support, he’s dismissive, unavailable, and reluctant to be there for you.
He also doesn’t like deep conversations, and if they do happen, he just answers with simple responses and without asking questions that make it easier to know each other.
Think about it for a sec.
7) He’s not willing to make sacrifices for the relationship
A healthy relationship requires both partners to make sacrifices and compromises. If he consistently refuses, it also means he’s not fully committed to the relationship.
Here are some examples I’ve heard of from other people:
A friend shared how her boyfriend kept ignoring important relationship milestones or special occasions. What does this show us? That he wasn’t committed to celebrating their connection.
Another one avoided addressing and working through relationship issues. Instead, he always chose to sweep problems under the rug, resulting in unresolved conflicts and built-up tensions.
And then, I know a couple that broke up because he made major life decisions without consulting her or considering how they directly affected the relationship.
Which brings us to this:
8) He doesn’t make an effort to make you happy
When you imagine a considerate partner in your mind, what does he do? He makes an effort to bring joy and happiness into your life.
I mean, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? To try and bring joy into your loved one’s lives. At least, it is for me.
Obviously, life isn’t all sunshine and roses, but for much of the time, it can be.
So, if he doesn’t put in this effort, it might be because your happiness isn’t a priority for him.
9) You’re the one doing most of the work to keep the relationship going
Do you feel like you’re doing the majority of the work to keep the relationship going or even to keep its head above water? Yup, that’s yet another sign of one-sided convenience.
He doesn’t want to put any work into the relationship because he’s lazy, doesn’t think it’s worth it or needed, and so on. There could be countless reasons why he doesn’t work with you.
But sure enough, the convenience of being with you is also one.
10) He doesn’t show affection or appreciation
I think we can all agree on how important showing affection is in a relationship. If anything, when you’re with someone new, you can’t take your hands off them.
The same goes for appreciation to some degree. So, if your partner isn’t showing affection or has suddenly stopped showing it, it’s certainly a thing you should be concerned about.
It’s a signal he might not truly value the relationship or your role in his life. He’s with you because you’re there.
11) You feel like you’re settling for less than you deserve
Most, if not all, of the time, you should be listening to your intuition and gut feeling. Your intuition can be a powerful indicator.
If you have a persistent feeling that something isn’t right or that you’re being used for his convenience, it’s necessary to trust your instincts and address the issue.
Also, if you have a constant nagging feeling that you could have a better, more fulfilling relationship but are staying in this one because it’s convenient, it’s time to reassess your situation.
Maybe he’s not the one who’s in a relationship because it’s oh so convenient. Maybe you’re the one who’s staying together because of comfort.
On the other hand, it could also be the both of you. Think about that for a moment.
12) He doesn’t make plans with you
When we want to be with someone forever, we make or at least envision future plans for ourselves and our relationship.
If he avoids discussing or making plans with you, it could mean he’s not foreseeing a long-term commitment, or he’s keeping his options open.
Either way, it’s an easy way to reckon the state of your relationship.
13) You’re not a priority in his life
So, what have all of these warning signs shown us? That you’re not a priority in his life.
If you often find yourself at the bottom of his priority list, and he consistently puts other activities or people ahead of you, it means the relationship is merely a convenience for him.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like a priority in each other’s lives. When one partner consistently places other activities or people above the relationship, it’s obvious you’re not a significant focus in their life.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, only he can answer this question directly: Is he only with you because you’re convenient?
If you don’t sit down and talk to him, you could come to conclusions that may or may not be correct.
It could also be that you simply have different communication styles, or he doesn’t know how to communicate property, so it seems like he isn’t making enough effort.
But, as I said, it’s up to you to get to the bottom of this.
