Paul Brian
Is your life boring?
If so, I can definitely relate. My life used to be on the less exciting side for many years.
Then I made some important changes and everything else began to change, too.
Here’s my advice for the key things to do if you want to start living a more exciting life.
Let’s dive in.
1) Find your passion
It’s crucial to find your passion in life.
You can have more than one passion, of course.
But find at least one!
It may be a hobby, your career, caring for your family or exploring new cultures.
It may be your spiritual quest, studying health or connecting with nature.
Your passion doesn’t have to be fully defined or fit into a label. What’s important is to pay attention to what makes your heart sing.
Find what makes you feel most alive and connected that doesn’t harm you or others and then find a way to include that in your life as much as possible.
2) Stop trying to be good
If you are focused on living up to an ideal of what you’re “supposed” to do is not only exhausting, it can also be inauthentic.
Trying to hard to be a “good” person ironically often leaves you not much time to actually do good things in the world.
It can also make your life quite dull, as you sit around wondering if you’re fitting in the “good” box and miss out on all sorts of experiences and opportunities.
For certain it’s important to have an ethical code and certain lines you won’t cross.
Your core values matter and following your passions and principles in life.
But giving up the idea that you’re “good” or need to be a certain “type” of person can be very liberating and allow you to really begin living your life.
It can also free you to get to know yourself on a deeper level, which brings me to the next point…
3) Face your shadow
Your shadow is your repressed or hidden desires, fears, inadequacies and emotions.
It’s not “bad,” it’s simply unrecognized or unconscious.
Facing the shadow is a process of owning who you are, rather than an ideal or imagined type of person.
You don’t need to be good, bad or ugly: you can just be you.
Think of shadow work as you facing up to everything you find uncomfortable or inconvenient.
These aren’t “other” or “bad,” they’re you.
They have a valid basis and they are part of who you are and who you will become.
Facing your shadow is a big part of freeing yourself from labels and the need to be anything other than you.
4) Enjoy being alone
Many people talk about enjoying being alone, and they do:
But only for a limited time!
After a day or two they start craving the company of others and get lonely, scrolling down their contact list to talk to someone, anyone, really.
I know because I’ve been there.
But enjoying being alone is something different than temporary or provisional enjoyment.
It’s having such a connection to yourself and a feeling of well-being around yourself that you honestly don’t feel that lonely spending long times alone.
No matter how extroverted you are, time alone is time you use and find beneficial, rather than a major drag on you.
This is a key to having a more exciting life, because when you don’t need anybody else to enjoy yourself, the world becomes your oyster!
5) Stop people pleasing
If there’s a recipe for having a boring life it starts and ends with people-pleasing.
Wanting to make those you care about happy is one thing, but centering your life around it is something else entirely.
Trying to please others can become a form of self-abnegation.
You ignore your own needs and perspectives for the sake of outer validation and approval, often putting off dreams and goals that don’t fit in the schedule and priorities of others.
This is a mistake and it can cost you dearly and take up years of your life.
Be generous, kind, and serve others when you can!
But never put yourself last or make people-pleasing the focus of your life!
6) Get out of your comfort zone
It’s hard to have an exciting life if you just stay in your comfort zone.
If you have a 9 to 5 job and a lot of life responsibilities, then exiting this pattern can be difficult.
But it’s worth a try, even starting with small things.
Go to a new restaurant with your friends or family. Take a night off for a concert of a type of music you’ve never heard. Sign up for membership at a gym and try out their muay thai classes.
These don’t have to be very intense things, but they can be activities which you normally wouldn’t do or hobbies that you’ve heard about and always made excuses not to try.
Now is the time!
Which brings me to the next point…
7) Overcome one of your fears
Some fears like jumping off cliffs into the water or skydiving can have legitimate roots.
Those activities can be dangerous if you don’t do your due diligence.
At the same time, it’s true that life is short and if you follow all safety precautions and know for a fact that it’s safe, there’s no reason not to try.
At the same time, I’d personally recommend starting with a smaller fear and going from there.
For example:
If you’ve always had a fear of rock climbing, start trying a bit with a trained instructor on some small slopes.
Try out your gym climbing wall with all the proper safety equipment and an instructor as well!
Your life just got a whole lot less boring, and you’ll be surprised how great you feel even in making the attempt!
8) Talk to new people
There are few things so interesting in life as meeting new people who challenge, surprise, excite and even (sometimes) frustrate you.
Talking to new people from all walks of life is a definite way to start living a more exciting life.
Many of us are so stuck to our usual roles and what we feel we should be doing in society that we don’t cross boundaries to talk with random people.
We should!
Many of my most exciting opportunities and learning experiences have come from striking up conversations with strangers.
Just exercise basic caution of course, and don’t give away personal financial information or things like that.
9) Study new ideas
Just like meeting new people, studying new ideas is also a definite gateway into a more interesting and exciting life.
Read some books, watch some films, join some chat groups.
Challenge your assumptions and see what you can find out about ideas that interest you.
For example, what’s behind the idea of karma in Buddhism?
How does it work and what are some different interpretations of it?
Ideas like these can really open your eyes to new and exciting ways to look at the world.
10) Travel if possible
Not everyone has the opportunity to travel, nor the money.
If you do, try out new cultures and places you’ve always wanted to go.
If time and money aren’t on your side here, try taking small trips only an hour or two from home.
Go camping, take a drive to a lake an hour away that you haven’t had a chance to check out yet.
Visit a historical site or a theme park that people have raved about but which you’ve never actually been to.
Switch into drive
You have it in your control to start doing many of the things in the list above.
Start small and focus your attention on finding excitement in the small daily things and building from there.
You have more potential than you realize and even your ordinary life can become more exciting than you might think.
As protagonist Walter Mitty says in James Schaub’s 1939 short story The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (later adapted into a film in 1947 and 2013):
“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel.
“That is the purpose of life.”
Let’s get to it!
