9 unusual behaviors that indicate emotional depth in a man

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Emotional depth in a man doesn’t have to mean they share their feelings non-stop.

Neither does it mean that they always know exactly the right thing to say all the time.

The truth is, it can be far more subtle and nuanced than that.

So what are some of the more unusual behaviors that indicate emotional depth in a man?

Let’s take a look!

1) He can always pick up on when something is wrong

You insist that you’re fine. But he knows you’re not.

Far from ignoring all those little signals that everything is not hunky dory in your world, he hones straight in on them.

People who lack emotional depth have a habit of being oblivious. Those who have it are highly attuned to the energy others give off.

They are good at noticing body language, picking up on facial expressions, and reading between the lines of whatever is being said.

2) He does little things to try to cheer people up

He knows that today was your monthly team meeting.

He also knows that afterwards you are usually left feeling depleted, frustrated, and a bit fed up. So he is proactive and wants to do something about that.

Responding to the needs of others is a biggie when it comes to depth. He cares how you feel and is prepared to make the effort for you.

He might offer to do something to try to lighten your load or he might make a gesture to let you know that you’re supported and appreciated.

A man with emotional depths thinks about the welfare of others, and this shows through his actions.

3) He doesn’t see things in only black and white

Life isn’t straightforward.

Every opinion, thought, and belief has different sides to it.

It’s not always a case of wrong versus right.

He appreciates that black-and-white thinking is often an oversimplification. So he prefers to live in the grey area.

This most likely means he’s not so quick to jump to conclusions, he withholds judgments and is prepared to give people the benefit of the doubt.

It’s not only a sign of emotional depth, but also maturity.

4) He doesn’t just rush in, instead, he considers his decisions carefully

If it seems like he is sitting on the fence, don’t be so sure.

It’s not always indecision if someone wants to take their time, it may simply be that they are making a considered decision.

People with emotional depth prefer to weigh up their options before committing to something.

It’s a sign that they take it seriously, not that they don’t know their own mind.

Particularly when the choice has an impact on their, or other people’s lives, it highlights a higher degree of responsibility.

5) He shows tact and diplomacy when disagreeing or debating with people

Whenever we think we’re right it’s easy for our ego to take over.

Proving the other person wrong at all costs can become the main goal.

So we may be tempted to try to belittle them, undermine them, or act in a superior way.

Showing restraint and tact highlights emotional depth.

It involves sensitively expressing yourself and delicately navigating other people’s feelings as much as your own.

Emotional intelligence demands that we skillfully respond to others, even when we disagree, rather than trying to shoot them down.

6) He knows how to forgive and forget

It takes a lot of strength to let by gones be by gones.

Some people mistakenly think that holding a grudge makes them a stronger person.

But his ability to show compassion and understanding is not a reflection of him being a fool or a pushover. Neither is it incompatible with having healthy boundaries.

But it takes far more mental toughness to let it go.

Part of it involves coming to terms with the fact that no one is perfect and that people deserve the chance to make amends.

7) He knows he isn’t perfect and he’s okay with that

It’s not that he uses this as an excuse, it’s more that he is able to accept his imperfections.

Some things he is still working on, but other things he has come to realize are part of what makes him who he is. 

One thing is for sure, he’ll only change for himself. It will never be for the sake of people pleasing or impressing others.

As psychotherapist Sharon Martin points out in Psychology Today, it’s easy to fall into this trap:

“Movies, magazines, and social media give us unrealistic ideas about what we should look like and be able to do. And our childhood experiences often plant the seeds of perfectionism, giving us the message that we’re not good enough as we are. We come to believe that we need to prove our worth. We need to work harder, accomplish more, be smarter, funnier, thinner, or more accommodating. And we should be able to do it all with ease! In other words, we need to be something other than ourselves.”

If a man is able to embrace every part of himself, it takes a lot of emotional depth to recognize these varied sides and try to integrate them.

8) He doesn’t believe everything he feels

Let me explain:

People with emotional depth may be aware of a lot of complex emotions bubbling under the surface.

They know that part of the human experience brings a wide range of feelings, that may change quite a lot even over the course of a day.

Being aware of these feelings doesn’t make you more irrational or a slave to them, it makes you less.

A man with depth can see his feelings, and even accept them, but he doesn’t get swept away by them.

His self-awareness allows him to regulate his emotions. When something starts to arise in him he doesn’t assume it’s fact, he knows it could be just a passing feeling.

9) Being wrong doesn’t make him feel threatened

You can tell a lot about the emotional depth of a man when you challenge him on something.

Because it’s another scenario where it’s all too easy for our egos to come out to play.

People who lack emotional depth often attach way too much of their sense of self to their ideas, thoughts, opinions, and beliefs.

So when someone disagrees with those, they take it as a personal attack.

A shallow guy will feel threatened by the mere suggestion he could have got it wrong.

A guy who is able to stop and consider the wider picture doesn’t.

He even enjoys hearing differences of opinion as he sees it as a chance to get important feedback or to learn from someone else’s point of view.

Depth can look different in everyone

Quantifying just how deep someone is can be understandably tricky. Especially as it shows up in many different ways.

Some guys may be great at exploring and expressing how they feel, other’s may be the brooding types but still have plenty of hidden depth.

Ultimately, it’s all about showing intelligence and awareness around their emotions.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

14 signs you’re a rare kind of person who helps others without needing a pat on the back

8 signs you’re destined for more than what your current life offers