Paul Brian
The true lone wolf is built a little differently.
He or she enjoys time alone and tends to zig when everybody else zags.
Here are the key markers of a person who truly loves spending time alone.
1) Introspection
The first trait of a loner is a tendency to introspection.
This desire to reflect and think about themselves, about life and about everything under the sun is misunderstood by some.
It might even look boring from the outside:
What’s that guy doing staring out over the lake for the past half hour!
Well, he’s reflecting and probably doing some deep thinking, too.
It happens.
2) Brevity
Loners tend to speak rarely and say little.
It’s not that they’re unfriendly, it’s just that they tend to be quite introverted and prefer to keep many of their thoughts to themselves.
This habit of not saying a lot can go both ways for the more solitary individual:
Some people may respect him or her and see the silence as wise and attractive, while others will take offense to it or see this person’s brevity as a personal affront.
It’s really just how they are, not a calculated strategy!
3) Bookishness
People who love spending time alone tend to love books.
This can also translate into many other areas such as loving computer games, documentaries, the study of art or bookish hobbies like collecting comic books, figurines or having a fascination with unique artworks.
People who love spending time alone often take the time to develop very unique interests and hobbies.
They may have small friend groups who share their interests, but in many cases these are activities they enjoy most doing alone.
Nothing wrong with that!
4) Love of nature
People who love spending time alone are often very passionate nature lovers.
They like being out in the great outdoors and have a kind of communion with nature.
Of course there are plenty of people who like nature and are also very extroverted and sociable.
But the emphasis here is on a certain type of nature lover who goes into the outdoors for time alone.
They’d rather go on a solo hike for the afternoon than camp with a group of friends by the river, for example.
They get more joy from seeing an eagle fly or a marmot pop up on the ridgeline than they would from going on a walk through a beautiful forest with their family.
5) Pet-focused
Solitary people are often very close with their pets to the extent that their closest relationship in life may be with their pet.
Technically the time they spend with their pet isn’t alone, but it is without human interaction.
They often prefer the company of a furry friend to interacting with other humans.
Don’t take it personally, some pets are pretty cute and adorable!
6) Prioritizing self-care
Those who like to spend time alone tend to prioritize self-care.
They take spa days and go on long workouts alone…
They take the time to really get ready in the morning and wind down after work.
They care for their body and mind beyond the average level and like their peace and quiet to do so.
7) Comfortability going out alone
People who don’t mind spending time alone are fine going out alone at night.
They may go to a bar, restaurant, film or just stroll around town.
They have no issue with people wondering why they’re alone or what they’re doing rocking solo.
In fact they love it.
They can go where they want, stay as long as they want and have their own time out without having to justify or explain it to anyone.
Whereas somebody else might miss having company or go out to try to meet other people, the solitary person is fine hanging out alone because they like it.
8) Forming friendships online
People who love spending time alone aren’t always completely alone.
Many times they are chatting to people via texting or social media and maintaining and cultivating online friendships.
As technology continues to develop and people seek out communities of like minded people online this is only likely to increase.
There’s a certain amount of friendliness and interaction that happens in all of our lives including just buying something at the grocery store or walking around the park.
But those deeper friendships usually happen when we resonate with someone’s thoughts or experiences in a deeper way.
For this reason, going online and seeking out people who you connect with is entirely natural.
It’s especially common for the kind of person who prefers to spend more time alone or only around those they feel really connected to.
And if those people happen to be on the other side of a screen (for now) so be it!
9) Making plans without keeping others informed
This can be one of the harder aspects of solitary people for others to deal with:
They sometimes just make plans or have spontaneous trips and adventures without really letting anyone else know.
Most of the time that’s no problem, but occasionally family or friends may wonder where they are!
When somebody you know just up and takes off you might be excused for feeling a little miffed, but if they’re the solitary type it’s quite likely they’re just doing what’s in their nature!
10) Enjoy going for solo road trips
The road trip is kind of an iconic experience of life.
Beat legend Jack Kerouac’s 1957 book On the Road told of a pre-hippie adventure in discovering yourself through travel and spontaneous experiences.
The person who likes spending time alone is often a lover of solo road trips.
He or she likes setting out on a motorbike alone through the California desert, or driving an old Volvo through Western Europe and seeing the sights…
He or she likes taking a train through the wilderness of Alaska and having a compartment on the train car all to themselves…
As Kerouac wrote:
“There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars…”
Alone, but not lonely…
People who have the traits above truly enjoy spending time alone.
They can be alone without becoming lonely.
In fact they feel more at home in their own company than they often do in the company of others.
